Cant stop spending and need help!

CH27

When you see something you want, walk away.
Ask yourself do you NEED it or WANT it.

mj12_2

Phil3822 wrote: »

You are correct, I never tell myself no. God knows how I go about it though!

All others, I really appreciate your strategies and advice.

Say to yourself 'if i hadn't just seen that would i still want it' if the answer is 'NO' then you have your answer on whether you're allowed it - NO. :-)

Phil3822

I am not trying to challenge or sound defeatest but I do ask myself that. I then respond in my mind by saying I deserve it!! I know this is not right and is disfunctional but I am feeling more positive already. I am starting by creating a journal which will detail my expediture, food and emotional state. I feel there may be some connection to my emotional state and spending/food.

CH27

What do you like?
What gives you most pleasure?

Darlyd

Phil have you got BP ? I was diagnosed with this when I too was spending lots of money, I got myself into major debt..... Then I would become depressed when I ran out, and would then be hyper again and just steal, I was really bad, but it's classed as an illness. Once I got on the correct med's, help from my parents and the doctor/physciatrist I felt much better.

Even though I still suffer a little 10 years on, I am no where near as bad. I will admit I have occasionaly stole from the shop (no need too because I could of paid), but I do feel guilty, but before I never felt guilty.

I work now more than I did before, I don't have a hobby to be honest I don't have time or the motivation to have one, I used too. I used to love playing xbox/ps2/pc I spent most of my day on them, making friends, shooting terrorists etc. But lost interest as I now work evenings, and am unable to play during the day since DD2 came along. .

Find yourself a hobby, and have another chat with the doctor if this is taking over your life, then there is something making you do this.

gratefulforhelp_2

Have a look at the passionsaving website for some suggestions.

It sounds like you are self-treating some emotional issues, maybe you need to find out what they are, maybe you just need to get a bit of stiff upper lip and get on with it.

what is the worst thing that could happen if you didn't buy the stuff?

can you sell some if it and recoup the costs?

do you have life insurance/wills/pensions each/an education fund for the children? If no, then you need to do those things, can you focus on that instead?

are you doing enough with the kids and around the home? With young children and a job, how do you have the time for this spending?

BTW know where you're coming from, I can be a bit that way myself.

eta daryld asks a good Q since BP is often misdiagnosed as depression.

tryinbutlovebuyin

Join Slimming World. You will spend £4.95 per week. If you fancy splashing out you could get some recipe books at the class. The class will be a kind of therapy for you. You can turn your attentions to this, and focus on it rather that just spending on anything & everything while losing your gained 6st along the way. You could buy a bicycle / something exercise related when you need a wee shopping fix. Learn to cook the recipes they give you - this will keep you occuppied and out of the shops. Worked for me Good luck x

Phil3822

Thanks both. Daryld, you may be right and this is something I have thought about but never expressed. My low's seem to last for ages like a couple of years and then the high lasts equally as long. Prior to this situation I was going to the gym daily, maintained a healthy weight, was very well of for my age and fit. I have been in this situtation before. Last time I was 18/19 and ended up in £25K debt. BP is a real possibility but I feel inside when saying it like I am making an excuse.

Phil3822

Mistake...

WestonDave

I wonder whether you need a focus for the money (and thereby a more positive focus for life). I'm tempted to suggest that if you have a mortgage you have a wander over to the mortgage free part of the site and have a read of a few of the diaries on there. Having read a few there are odd ones that to me sound like people with life issues have found something in focusing on getting their mortgage down. Alternatively the savings part of the site where people are saving up for a deposit or a pension etc.