divorce and pensions

inspirespirit

My husband and I have been married for 25 years (Separated for 3). We had fairly traditional roles in our relationship. He had a job that took him away for periods of time, so I worked part-time to be able to look after the children.
Our split was fairly acrimonious although we have managed to sort out our differences and are now on fairly amicable terms.
He told me yesterday (via facebook), that he has got engaged to his young philippino girlfriend and therefore needs a fairly quick divorce.
I am currently receiving care allowance as I have a son with Still's Disease who has been incredibly ill over the past 3 years.
I have read somewhere that you can no longer get legal aid for a divorce and I cannot afford a solicitor.
It should all be pretty simple apart from the pensions. He had a company pension and also when he went self employed we got him a private pension.
I worked part time all our marriage but paid full time stamp (not that I know if that has anything to do with it).
Can I find out if I have any pensions from my part time jobs? If not, am I entitled to any of his pension when he reaches pensionable age? Do we just share pensions that we have both accrued for the years we were together? If so, how do I find out please?

almond

Its money well spent getting a solicitor please do it, i got divorced 10 years ago and thought i was getting legal aid , she was a waste of time so went private , i explained i did'nt have money and would do most of leg work myself, so have a ring round but be careful its your future and get it wrong you can't go back.

jamesd

Paying full stamp would mean that you would have been accumulating an entitlement to the Additional State Pension in your own name. To find out how much, get a State Pension Forecast.

You may have other pensions if your part time jobs offered pension schemes. If you can you should contact those employers. If you can't contact them there is a pension tracing service available that can help.

A pension splitting order can be obtained that would split the benefits from work defined benefit pensions (final or average salary sort of thing). Similar can be done for defined contribution pensions (where the pension holder can pick the investments and the payout depends on how the investments they chose did).

Pensions are part of the pot of assets that may well include such things as a house and obligation to pay for care of children. How something like one party keeping the house affects how much pension or non-pension assets must be given up to compensate for the house value swapped is a matter for individual circumstances and negotiations.

Your solicitor could suggest how to pay for their services. Your husband may be wiling to advance money from your eventual part of any proceeds from the divorce to help get things done cleanly with solicitors for both parties.

inspirespirit

Thank you Jamesd. That is really helpful.

margaretclare

'He wants a quick divorce because he wants to marry his Filipina girl-friend'. And move her into the UK, and get her a British passport...heard it all before.

You need a solicitor, it need not cost such a lot but would be money well-spent.

This saga reminds me of my stepdaughter's very recent divorce. Her husband moved out on her last autumn with no warning, left her devastated because she had no idea it was coming. He moved in with his bird and let it be known that they were planning to get married on a certain date in June. Meantime, my SD had a friend in the legal business who handled it all for her but even so, it did not go through speedily. Because they'd been married in Jamaica there was some delay in getting the original certificate and various other delays. I said 'You cannot get engaged when you're still married and you cannot arrange a wedding until you're free of the last marriage'. Apparently this is me being old-fashioned and 'what used to happen'.

However, my SD saw no reason to hurry. There were various delays with the paperwork and the wedding did not happen at the date planned. Is this being a bit mean - we all said 'hurray'!

Good for you, paying full stamp even though working part-time. Whatever you accrue in retirement pension and any other contribution-based benefits is yours and nothing to do with him. Pension-splitting arrangements should form part of the final settlement, and the pensions of both should be 'on the table' as part of what is called a 'full and frank disclosure'. Again, you need legal advice for this.

SallyG

Have a look at the Wikivorce website - lots of people going through the same troubles - and sharing pensions sorting out who gets the house etc. ....... he'll have to pay maintenance for his children - have you thought about maintenance to meet your own income needs?

inspirespirit

Thanks everyone. Looks like I will need a solicitor. Hope I can find one that will let me pay weekly. lol.

Margaretclare - have to say I thought the same as you. I didn't realise you could get engaged whilst still married, but apparently you can as it is not a legal procedure.

She is welcome to him, tbh. What on earth a 25 year old girl sees in a 55 year old man i will never know. He has a 31 year old son. Gives me the creeps. I could never ever dream of going with a young man who is younger than my own children. Still, it seems quite the thing in the Philippines.

inspirespirit

SallyG wrote: »

Have a look at the Wikivorce website - lots of people going through the same troubles - and sharing pensions sorting out who gets the house etc. ....... he'll have to pay maintenance for his children - have you thought about maintenance to meet your own income needs?

Our children are both over 18 so he doesn't have any requirements to pay maintenance for them or me.

He went to go visit his elderly (English) father, who had retired to live in the Philippines. He had not seen his father for over 15 years and he was elderly and poorly. (I could not go because my son was about to start chemo for a bone marrow transplant). He went for 3 weeks. He never came back. (over 3 years ago !!)
After he had gone I found out his business was in debt. I had to sort it all out.
Bottom line is, we were left with nothing !!! I have had to start from scratch on my own. Not easy in your fifties with a disabled son and no living relatives.
Still, these things happen. I just want to make sure I don't get walked over when it comes to any pensions because I know we forked out a lot of money for his pensions over the years.

atush

inspirespirit wrote: »

Thanks everyone. Looks like I will need a solicitor. Hope I can find one that will let me pay weekly. lol.

Margaretclare - have to say I thought the same as you. I didn't realise you could get engaged whilst still married, but apparently you can as it is not a legal procedure.

She is welcome to him, tbh. What on earth a 25 year old girl sees in a 55 year old man i will never know. He has a 31 year old son. Gives me the creeps. I could never ever dream of going with a young man who is younger than my own children. Still, it seems quite the thing in the Philippines.

it is easy to see what she sees in him. He gets her a UK visa and eventually citizenship. Then she'll dump him I assume, esp if he doens't earn enough for her to Keep her relatives in food and shelter.

As for you, is he the father of your diabled child? Even over 18 he may still have olbigations. Also, check with DHS, but if you are a carer, you may get NSI contribs on that- like you do child benefit so chack youaren't paying for something out of pocket you don't have to?

And yes, he must split his pension with you. And if he has hidden any assets he has (and he most have some for living expenses while there, and for getting back to the UK etc) then you have a claim. And Iw ould ask for maintentance too.

Check with the CAB, you may get some free legal help still.

inspirespirit

atush wrote: »

As for you, is he the father of your diabled child? Even over 18 he may still have olbigations. .

No. he isn't my eldest son's father. We had both been married before. He has a 31 year old son from his first marriage. He was my son's stepfather from when he was 6 yrs old though.

One of the reasons I am asking about pensions, is because of my eldest son's father. I was living with him for 10 years (married for 8 of those years). Again, I worked part time because of our son and also because of his shifts. He was a firefighter. He left me when our son was four for another woman (Can't I pick 'em, lol).

He has now retired after 30 years service in the Fire Brigade and I was with him for 10 of those years. He got a huge pension. A lump sum of almost 70k and around 16k per year - and he now has another full time job. I didn't get one penny. Yet I struggle along financially looking after our disabled son whilst he lives a life of relative luxury. (I don't begrudge him his pension - he worked hard and risked his life so I don't have a problem - but I did think he might help me out a bit).

Our son's prognosis of his illness is lifelong, so nothing is going to change. To be fair, he has kept constant contact with his son but he hasn't contributed an awful lot financially. I got £11 per week until my son was 16 in maintenance.

So this time, I want my wits about me when it comes to pensions.

atush

What happened during your previous divorce? The pension should have been split then- unless you took some sort of payment in lieu. 8 years of his pension should have been split with you. does he pay for his disabled son? If not, why not?

If you had a soliitor then, you may have a claim for breach of duty of care.