Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

lemonjelly

lostinrates wrote: »

from where did you acquire teenaged boys Missk?

Why do you ask? Looking to buy one?;)

chewmylegoff

lemonjelly wrote: »

It ain't just teenage boys who do that to food...(burp...):o

Amen to that.

Someone put me next to the sausages and bacon. Oh well.

lemonjelly

I got,

A new mp3 player with brilliant sound.
A lot of pj's (mr men, animal from the muppets, family guy, & a wolves set)
A wolves dressing gown
A brand new really nice bowls bag (seeing as someone broke mine during the season!:mad:)

& A unicycle!:D

lemonjelly

chewmylegoff wrote: »

Amen to that.

Someone put me next to the sausages and bacon. Oh well.

Pigs in blankets + stuffing + roast potatoes + gravy = a growing jelly belly...:o

lostinrates

chewmylegoff wrote: »

Dunno. At the moment I'm just being a typical male commitment-phobe. I think I do want to have kids eventually and obviously will buy a house again at some stage. However my current focus is on career and financial security rather than worrying about having children. It would mean a complete change of lifestyle and moving away from all our friends in the fairly near future in order to be somewhere where we could reasonably bring up children.

Basically I want to wait about 5 years but since she is about to turn 33 it is easy to see why that probably isnt going to happen. One of the most important things to try to sort out is that at the moment she expects to be able to take the kids to australia to see her family twice a year for two weeks at a time. So basically our whole life would be going to work, saving money and accruing holiday in order to fly to Australia twice a year.

I am not doing that...

IMO your best bet is to not wait for her to raise it but to say all this to her yourself. at the same age women and men can but don't always feel very differently about this. I have times where however hard I try not to I get very interrested in our options for kids whereas dh still hasn't realised WE are no longer kids

it doesn't have to end in tears playing it by ear and skirting the issues, but its more likely too if she's feeling frustrated and bottled up.

fwiw, my parents simply didn't take me twice a year to visit family, and not did dh visit his family twice a year within europe....your partner/gf may have to gain some perspective on that herself if she wants to buy a house and have kids with YOU.

lostinrates

lemonjelly wrote: »

Why do you ask? Looking to buy one?;)

yes. I'd really like to buy a teenage boy. (LJ, thats a weird question.)

tomterm8

Hi guy's. Can't stay for long, but thanks for all the concern.

As far as I can see, my mum is mostly recovered. They will keep her in hospital for a while for observation and tests, but she is quite eloquent and fully mobile, and in the main seems OK, although she is getting tired more easily than normal, and she has lost a but of sensation in her hands.

It looks like it was just one minor stroke of the blood clot variety, the secondary events are just bruising caused while the clot is healing.

lemonjelly

misskool wrote: »

oooo...pubs are open on christmas day

I'm suprised this was news to you. Whilst at university, I used to work on christmas day. In a pub. That was 10 years ago!:eek:

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

IMO your best bet is to not wait for her to raise it but to say all this to her yourself. at the same age women and men can but don't always feel very differently about this. I have times where however hard I try not to I get very interrested in our options for kids whereas dh still hasn't realised WE are no longer kids

it doesn't have to end in tears playing it by ear and skirting the issues, but its more likely too if she's feeling frustrated and bottled up.

fwiw, my parents simply didn't take me twice a year to visit family, and not did dh visit his family twice a year within europe....your partner/gf may have to gain some perspective on that herself if she wants to buy a house and have kids with YOU.

What lir said.

Oh, and bear in mind that if she were on some internet forum posting her side of the matter, her friends there would probably be telling her not to leave it too late, and not to let you keep her hanging on indefinitely. They might well suggest she issue some kind of ultimatum and that if you don't agree to start trying for a baby by the time she's 34 (or some such date) then she should leave you and try to find somebody else who will have a baby with her before she's too old.

Now, obviously I don't know your gf, and I don't know how she feels or what she'll decide to do. But I do know the sorts of things women say to other women about these things, online and IRL. And I also know that most women are more likely to follow the advice of their female friends if their male partner isn't talking and isn't listening.

So all the more reason why lir is right. If she's about to be 33 and she wants kids, this may well be a really big deal to her. (Although of course it may not be. Perhaps she's not that bothered about having kids. Unless you have the conversation, you won't know.)

So talk to her. Ask her how she feels about house, kids, visiting family etc, and then listen. Make sure you understand what she says (whether or not you agree with it) and that she knows you understand, and then (but only then) you can reply to it - people are much more likely to listen to your reply if they are confident that what they've said has been heard properly. Tell her how you feel about your career and financial security and all the things that are important to you. You don't need to make it all touchy-feely if that's not your style. Just put in a few things like "This really matters to me" and so on, so she knows the stuff going on in your job is personal to you and not externally imposed.

lemonjelly

lostinrates wrote: »

Jewellery....how long have you been togather? Is it time for a ring?

Stirrer!:D