Idea for girls 13th Bday?

Darlyd

Dd is nearly 13.

She don't have many friends . But wants to be popular. (she gets angry very quickly).

Anyway I have booked a pamper party (bargain I think £10 per child) but the time could only be 12-3 for her and 5 friends and then she wanted to go skating which starts at 6.15 and the disco afterwards and then a sleep over (we putting tent in garden with laptop to watch DVDs).

But we don't know what to do between 3-6 I was thinking a limo for an hr or so? Am just worried these friends wont attend (I know one will for defo). Can you think of anything else?

Just trying my best to make her have a happy day. But need to keep costs down as much as possible. I'm doing double shifts next week to fund it. :eek:

Sambucus_Nigra

Good grief. Surely just one of those things would suffice.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

A limo?

!!!!!!?

Try feeding them, give them cupcakes to decorate, music to play, dance games.

Why would driving around in a traffic jam be in anyway appropriate for anything other than bragging about behaving like wannabee WAGs?

Gillyx

When I was 13 I got a sleepover, with food/drinks bought by my parents and a few dvds (or may have been videos) rented from the local Blockbusters, and it wasn't that long ago!

Far too much imo, and seems to me like "buying" friends, yes these girls may come because they know of all the activites planned but they may not be interested come the next day. I know what girls are like sadly.

shy-but-need-help

I might be tempted just to cut back (maybe cut out the pamper party bit?) because you might find that some invited children drop out because of the length of time they'd be out. You could then use the alternate activity you don't do as a follow up to do in a few weeks with one or two friends? That way she has something on going rather than everything piled into one day and then nothing. I also think if you're hoping activity to activity they might not get a chance to enjoy any of them fully and at 13 they do value just being able to hang out.

My oldest did struggle to make/keep friends and one thing I found was we couldn't buy her way to happy (and believe me I cried myself to sleep several times wishing I could, just to see her feel better) the best way we could help her was helping her improve her own self confidence, self-esteem and in time that eventually lead to her liking herself, and now (as she begins high school) she's finding it easy to make friends because she's alot happier in herself and that comes over when she approaches people as her being a friendlier person.

Depending on where you live you might want to cut the sleep over in a tent (or change it to a sleep over in doors) part- my daughter is coming up to 14 and I'm all good with her attending sleep overs but there's not a cat in h*lls chance I'd let her go to one where she'd be sleeping outside in a tent.

peachyprice

I think the limo idea is way OTT.

If you've already promised the pamper and skating just take them home from 3-6 and feed them, they'll be hungry by then as they'll have missed lunch, unless it's provided at the pamper thing?

Darlyd

Lunch is provided at the pamper party. Skating is optional dd and her friends will discuss it on the day. They are sleeping in the tent in garden because my parents will be staying here too. So no room. I dont see a problem with that it's very secure only way in/out of garden is through the house.

As for limo. I am thinking about it. I know a lot of other kids her age and younger have had one. Apparently it's the in thing (did not come from dd) but I dont know. I just want her to have a fun day and enjoy it. But im worried friends won't come.

Just after some ideas. Not to be criticised as a parent. I'm trying my best here with a very challenging child.

Gillyx

Sorry I didn't want to criticise, I just know what young teenage girls are like. When I was younger we'd go to parties of girls we didn't really like, because they had fun/expensive activities I'd never do anything of the sort now but girls can be horrible.

shy-but-need-help

Sorry, wasn't trying to criticise, would just hate to see you spend money you've had to work so hard for only to have people not turn up, Gilly has a point about girls being cruel- my own daughter was subjected to actually having kids turn up to her own party only to "blank her" and use it as an opportunity to do the cool activity with their friends (in other words- the other non-family kids who were invited except my daughter).

I really hope it does work out for you as it is absolutely horrid to see your child treated badly by their peers.

What do you think would suit her personality? You mention she angers quickly- do you think she'd be better suited to shorter, constantly changing activities where she's kept active and focused or do you think she'd be better given more flexibility?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

What happens if it pees down all day? Where will they sleep then if there's no room?

(not counting anyone climbing over fence - I've got a 10 foot wall surrounding my house, but the kid over the back still manages to get in when he's kicked his football over :mad:)

I had a bunch of 12 year olds here at the beginning of June - 3 hours at the cinema, 1/2 hour walk back to house, 3 1/2 hours at home. Quite long enough when they all get on fine together, money didn't have to be thrown at them to make them like DD, food, music, a chance to make a noise - no problems.

The eldest had a 13th party and they enjoyed decorating cupcakes, dancing, gossiping and generally dossing around for 4 hours in November. That was about their limit before they started getting tetchy - and even the most fickle/label orientated of them thought that cakes were a cool idea.


Not criticising your parenting, criticising the idea that sitting in a car like a bunch of demented trollops on a hen night would do isn't the best thing for children. And it puts them in a completely enclosed situation when they are probably already a bit stressed. I wouldn't recommend it.

Darlyd

She needs to be entertained. She gets very excited quickly and needs to keep busy.

I am worried about the friends I really am. I know 2 of the girls that have been invited find it hard to fit in so they will be very loyal to dd (if that's the correct phrase). And I know one of them most defiantly will come.

In a way wish I never booked the pampering and should of insisted to dd just say 6pm at the skating and then come hm for sleep over/munchies and just spent the day with the family. But it's not what she wanted and she got very angry and upset when I mentioned that idea. I've not paid for the pamper party yet so that can be cancelled. Will speak to her in the morning before she gives invites out. I know what she will say though. (and I know I'm the parent but she is very challenging).