Bulimia Relapse

CuppaTea

Hi everyone,

I wondered if anyone could help, advise or simply relate with my problem as i feel quite alone.

I've had eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia) on and off since late teens, manage to stop when pregnant and for a while after my children were born, but over this last year its crept back to a daily event (bulimia) and i know its wrong but can't seem to stop.

I know i need to tackle this for my sake and the childrens but some days i seem committed other days i can't cope with it.

I've been to the doctors in the last few months and they recommended counselling, but years back i had that (cognitive therapy), TBH i found it useless.

The only thing that really stopped me in the past was wanting a family and being pregnant. All the time I had those reasons to do the best for the life inside me I found it easy.

Please no lectures, I'm not a young teenager, i'm an older mum, but i am struggling with this and wondered if anyone can relate to me? If you've been through this how did you change.

Right now i'm craving a mcdonalds (i have been for weeks now and i havne't bought one as i know it won't stay down). I keep thinking if i buy one it might stop the craving, but i don't know.

I'm not after medical advice, I know all that, but i guess i'm after someone who has been there done that and help me realise this relapse has gone on long enough and needs to stop again.

Thanks.

AmandaD28

As a fellow sufferer of this awful illness you have my sympathies I'm not at the moment as I am pregnant and this is my motivation not too but I too have relapses and I'm not quite sure how I control it.

I'm so sorry I can't offer advice only a shoulder to cry on feel free to PM me if you want maybe looking at why may hold the answer

Take care
xx

freda

Do you think you're craving a McDonalds or craving an excuse to throw up? I don't know too much about it, but afaik a lot of the underlying issues with bulimia and other eating disorders etc are a way of taking control of some part of your life. How is your life at the moment? Are you happy with the children and family, or do you feel run down, tired and stuck in a rut (like a lot of mums of young children do!) Do you feel you have enough influence over what happens in your life or does it all just tootle on past you like a river?

One strategy that a friend of mine said helped was to, in 'good' times, get a large box, and put some treats into it. When I say treats, I don't mean chocolate etc but things like a good book, a trashy magazine, one of those yummy looking soaps that smell delicious, a photo album of baby pictures to look through, a voucher for a day out at the zoo etc. Then when things get bad, have a rummage through the box and choose one treat that you can use there and then, to take your mind off things and give yourself a break.

Do you have any friends or family that know about the bulimia and could support you a bit, maybe by inviting you around for coffee, lunch, an evening bbq - something to take your mind off the insular stuff that you think about stuck at home with the kids day in day out.

If you want reasons to stop, just think about the extremes of bulimia (hospital, being made to eat, tube feeding etc) or the long term issues - damage to bone density, ill health when your kids need you most etc. These are all excellent reasnos to stop, but you also need a day to day strategy that will just get you out of the house and not thinking about it all the time if you see what I mean?

As I said, I'm by no means an expert but I really do hope it helps a little.

millymoomoo_2

Another one who suffers here. Mine is a little different though as I have had it for so long and it has changed. I am currently suffering from binge eating disorder/bulimia. The problem I have is that I binge fully believing that I will purge:( I hardly ever purge now so the result is a massive weight gain.

I decided enough was enough last week and went to the Drs. I am also suffering from anxiety and depression which appears to be the main cause of my eating disorder. Anyway I am now taking Citalopram to combat this and I am pleased to say that combined with Slimming World I am doing brilliantly... so far.

Goodluck to you Cuppa, I think another visit to the Drs is needed for you x

Fire_Fox

Counselling and CBT are not one and the same, they are two different forms of talking therapy. Did your doctor suggest any medication to help with the associated depression or compulsions?

CuppaTea

Thanks for everyone for your kind replies, i was really worried about reading the first post in case someone criticised me or judged.

There are some good ideas on here, some new ones that i haven't heard of too. Its so nice to hear from people who understand.

I have been on and off AD's over the years, currently off, but my DH thinks i need a return visit as i do get low moods and at the weekend i started feeling that i'm just existing not living. I am finding it hard to get motivated to do things and don't want to get up in the mornings. Everything seems such an effort, but i have to for my family.

I know i need to go back to see the nurse who knows me well, but then i have an ok day mood wise and think i'll be ok. I feel embarrassed about it too.

Twentiesgirl

Do you want to recover? Why? Make a list of the reasons and put them somewhere you can see the list when you get the urge look at it and hopefully you can fight the urge.

One thing that I have heard of in the past is to have two jars, money boxes, etc. cover them 1 jar is for good times the other is for bad times. Every time/ am/pm/ day ( choose which is easiest ) you have fight the urge to binge or purge or give into the urge put a coin/ button/ stone in the appropriate jar. At the end of a week or month uncover them and hopefully the good will outweigh the bad and if so treat yourself the aim of this primarily is to get some awareness as to where things are at but also to encourage you to fight the urge.

Challenge yourself can your husband go with you to macdonalds and talk through your urges so that you cant/dont purge but also satisfy the craving

CuppaTea

Some days i do want to recover, other days i don't it seems to hard and the food cravings too strong, but i really like the jar idea, it would provide motivation.

Amazingly my DH isnt aware of this relapse and i'm not brave enough to tell him, i know he'd support me but i don't want to be watch around food/meals/him wondering what i'm doing in the loo (even if its innocent). I told a good friend over the winter and we talk about it, but she doesn't intrude and only helps when i ask for it. My DH thinks my depression has returned and put my food behaviours and weight loss down to that.

freda

My DH thinks my depression has returned and put my food behaviours and weight loss down to that.

From what you've said in previous posts, he is probably right. It is hard to see it when it is yourself that is experiencing it. Go to the doctors - if you think you are having a good day, or won't be able to talk once you are there, print off your first post on this thread and hand it to the doctor/nurser to read.

Take care of yourself, you have children that deserve you getting better

Fire_Fox

CuppaTea wrote: »

Thanks for everyone for your kind replies, i was really worried about reading the first post in case someone criticised me or judged.

There are some good ideas on here, some new ones that i haven't heard of too. Its so nice to hear from people who understand.

I have been on and off AD's over the years, currently off, but my DH thinks i need a return visit as i do get low moods and at the weekend i started feeling that i'm just existing not living. I am finding it hard to get motivated to do things and don't want to get up in the mornings. Everything seems such an effort, but i have to for my family.

I know i need to go back to see the nurse who knows me well, but then i have an ok day mood wise and think i'll be ok. I feel embarrassed about it too.

Low mood and eating disorders are a downward spiral, if you are not taking care of your physical health this directly impacts your mental wellbeing because your body does not have the resources to produce the hormones your brain uses to control mood and sleep. Try to deal with one mental health problem is enough for anyone let alone more than one. If you do not feel ready to address your food issues, try addressing your low mood - you may find this gives you the strength to tackle the bulimia.

It doesn't matter which medical professional you see, just that you see one - today if possible. If you find it difficult to go into detail just state that you need to go back onto the anti-depressants. Any doctor or nurse worth their salt will ask the right questions thereafter.
:grouphug:

Buttonmoons

Im currently struggling with bulimia, I've had it near on 3years now and its pretty much out of control right now, as there is a few things going on that Im very sad about.

I binge, knowing I will purge, and I do.

I can't stand being fat, the thought horrifies me, I used to be fat, im chubby now, my metabolism is messed up, my hair has fallen out, my skin is terrible, im ever so tired all the time. Do I stop? No.......because food controls me.

I went to counselling, the woman was useless, I felt worse when I left, so didn't go back.

I don't know what advice to give you, because I'm incapable of listening/doing what I should.