my fathers will

thorsoak

Autism, OCD or whatever ....he (sorry I called him a she earlier) and his sister still deserve each other.

I know and correspond with several adults who are autistic/aspie - and they always explain this at the start of any and every conversation and letter/email - as they are aware that this changes the way they view things.


Had those points been made earlier (and I don't remember seeing them in any of his other posts, either BTW) then maybe my post would have been worded differently. As it was, it took 23 posts before OP stated the point - and his GF is a senior support worker? hmmm

thorsoak

Whilst your father is alive, his money is his, to do with whatever he chooses. As things stand at the moment, he chooses that your sister is his attorney, and has control over his money.

If you think this is wrong, then maybe you should contact the Office of the Public Guardian, and seek their advice. But one word of warning: by the time you involve solicitors, Office of the Public Guardian, etc, there will be no money left.

I don't know what else you expect us to say/do.

Johnhowell

ricardo62 wrote: »

thanks but shes the appointed executor !!!!!!!!!!!! so wivout sounding thick is it as simple as ringing the police and reporting her for theft of my money ?? another ? what if she destroys my dads will before he dies because ive seen it its in the lounge with all the documents ??

Ricardo, Please note that the status of your sister on your fathers will has no standing until your father dies and she receives the grant of adminsitration - as detailed before.

At this moment, it seems that your sister has Power of Attorney - Enduring or Lasting. When did she achieve this - because you, as family member, would have received documents from the Court of Protection (Guardianship Agency) to agree to the attorneyship of your sister - did you refuse acceptance?

Anyway, if your sister does have officical attorneyship and you have such concerns that your sister is not administering the estate for the benefit of your father, then lodge a complaint with the Court of Protection. See what they can do for you. If she does not have official attorneyship - you could apply for yourself...

Good luck.
John

thorsoak

What can you do to stop her? Remind her what her father's wishes are. Or revert to the law. That's all the advice I can give. In the meantime, why not try and enjoy and appreciate your father's last days? Do you want to remember the bitterness between you and your sister, or the love between you and your father? Which is more important to you?

Fire_Fox

thorsoak wrote: »

Autism, OCD or whatever ....he (sorry I called him a she earlier) and his sister still deserve each other.

I know and correspond with several adults who are autistic/aspie - and they always explain this at the start of any and every conversation and letter/email - as they are aware that this changes the way they view things.

Had those points been made earlier (and I don't remember seeing them in any of his other posts, either BTW) then maybe my post would have been worded differently. As it was, it took 23 posts before OP stated the point - and his GF is a senior support worker? hmmm

So the people you correspond with have different self-imposed rules to Ricardo62, not exactly a novel research finding! My ex is Aspergers as were several of his friends and colleagues, not one felt the need to announce their eccentricities and I wouldn't imagine that is the norm in silicone valley either. Many people with disabilities or health conditions prefer not to be defined by them, do you expect everyone with depression or anxiety to announce themselves in every post so that we can all treat them with kid gloves?

It is the nature of autism that people don't always appreciate that a subject is likely to be controversial. Given the subject matter of the thread, the title of the website and the title of the board I find that quite a reasonable assumption. Perhaps you should be asking yourself why you did not notice that Ricardo62 is on the autistic spectrum, given your experience? IMO the problem here is not the OP's viewpoint, it's the way you are leaping to conclusion and judging based on ignorance and prejudice.

ricardo62

thorsoak wrote: »

What can you do to stop her? Remind her what her father's wishes are. Or revert to the law. That's all the advice I can give. In the meantime, why not try and enjoy and appreciate your father's last days? Do you want to remember the bitterness between you and your sister, or the love between you and your father? Which is more important to you?

thank you i will try and appreciate my father it just seems so unfair if she does manage to take whats not hers and leaves me penniless but i will hope maybe it might nt happen maybe im thinking the worst , it does not help that i dnt trust anyone in life and always think there out to fleece or scam me i cant help it its just the way i am i trust nobody ??

Fire_Fox

ricardo62 wrote: »

ok thanks , but the whole point im m aking is he wants me to have his money hes put it in savings that cant be touched till 2012 5yr isas and hes made it crystal clear verbally and in his will thats his wishes, i dnt want to involve solicitors i havnt even got the money to afford them even if i wanted to? i was just wundering what i could do to stop her ,short of shooting her er thats a joke by the way ,i just feel so helpless but maybe she wont who can tell ?its just a big mess???

It is not a mess, Ricardo, because nothing untoward has happened other than a few words that may have been intended simply to annoy you or as a joke. You cannot stop someone breaking the law ahead of time, you can only report them to the police after a crime has been committed. You may not need legal representation, if you do the Citizens Advice Bureau will be able to help. It's unlikely your sister will take the money AND spend it all with nothing to show for it before her assets can be frozen. I presume there is not sufficient money in your father's ISAs to be worth her leaving the UK forever and going on the run with a criminal record? Unless she managed to sell her house for a suitcase or two full of cash - very unlikely a conveyancing solicitor would allow that - you would be able to get a charge against the value of her home.

If you think you may have OCD please speak to your medical team, worrying about things that are not going to happen is not good for you.

savingmummy

I think you and your sister need to talk about this once the time comes.
For now enjoy your father while his here and try not to look at what `may` happen after your father passes.

IF your sister does what she has mentioned then she will be practically going against what your fathers wishes are, and i`m not too sure she could live with herself knowing she let him down!
I would personally not think about inheritence, money isnt everything.