what do you do

Kimberley82

when you cant carry on the way a relationship is going but you cant bare to be with out the person either?

shellsuit

You have a break/time apart to take stock of the situation and have time to think what it is you actually want.

I don't know if that would help you, but could be worth a shot if everything else has failed x

Kimberley82

shellsuit wrote: »

You have a break/time apart to take stock of the situation and have time to think what it is you actually want.

I don't know if that would help you, but could be worth a shot if everything else has failed x

Thanks, maybe its worth a shot, I love him to bits we have been together over 11 years but things are so bad right now

shellsuit

Kimberley82 wrote: »

Thanks, maybe its worth a shot, I love him to bits we have been together over 11 years but things are so bad right now

I'm really sorry to hear that Kimberley, I hope you guys can sort it out xxx

P.S. If you think this could be because of your depression (I read a thread the other day but didn't have any advice to offer I'm afraid), then what about a trip to see your GP?

Kimberley82

shellsuit wrote: »

I'm really sorry to hear that Kimberley, I hope you guys can sort it out xxx

P.S. If you think this could be because of your depression (I read a thread the other day but didn't have any advice to offer I'm afraid), then what about a trip to see your GP?

Partly yes I think it is, but i have no idea how to fix any of it

shellsuit

Kimberley82 wrote: »

Partly yes I think it is, but i have no idea how to fix any of it

Can your OH go to see your GP with you? Or what about going to a few counsellling sessions together?

Kimberley82

shellsuit wrote: »

Can your OH go to see your GP with you? Or what about going to a few counsellling sessions together?

I have lost track of how many different gps we have seen it does no good.
He wont go to councilling

System

Mental illness can be difficult for partners to deal with, sometimes its hard not to feel more like a carer than a partner (this was the case with my ex).

I second shellsuits idea of a break. Sometimes time apart is needed to know whether you want to stay with someone or whether you need to split up.

Do you feel you can talk to your partner? Or are you finding it hard to talk things through?

Kimberley82

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Mental illness can be difficult for partners to deal with, sometimes its hard not to feel more like a carer than a partner (this was the case with my ex).

I second shellsuits idea of a break. Sometimes time apart is needed to know whether you want to stay with someone or whether you need to split up.

Do you feel you can talk to your partner? Or are you finding it hard to talk things through?

I can understand that, I have helped him through mental illness too.

WestWalesWannabee

Hi,

I can totally understand your predicament. I had a boyfriend for a year and a half, we broke up, spent 2 and a half years as very close friends and 3 months ago we got back together. We love each other so much but the last few weeks we've been constantly arguing. I'm not sure if we want different things as I'm 37 and want us to move in together and build a future and he's 38 still living at home. Neither of us have children and i would like to think that was where we were heading as he says he wants them too, but he doesn't seem keen to move out of home after us knowing each other nearly 5 years. The arguments the last couple of weeks have been horrendous and he's dumped me in anger a few times but then immediately regretted it about half an hour later and talked me round. So i'm in the same situation as you. I love him, but am not sure we're that compatible now and don't know if I should end it. I know that if I do, we won't manage to stay friends. He's told me that if we break up, that's it. Oh and i know that if we're arguing, we shouldn't even be considering moving in together and having children.

So.. what do we both do!!?? I don't want to lose him, but i don't think we're properly matched.

Sorry to hijack the thread but wanted to let you know that you're not on your own in a situation like this.

xxxxhelpxxxx

I am in a similar situation at the moment, apart from the fact that my husband has cheated on me.

I cannot imagine life without him, but at the same time I cannot imagine living with him forever after knowing he has slept with someone else.

I am seeing the Talking Therapies counsellor from next week to try to sort it out in my head.

If this situation had not reared its head, we would not be talking at all. But now we are talking quite honestly. It helps but is very painful at times.