Petrified of dentists but have no choice

McKneff

To be honest, i really wouldnt recommend a lady dentist. I was put through agony last year when I had to have all my top teeth out.
She had to loosen all the teeth first before extraction which quadrupled the time I was in the chair being worked on. I really felt as if she was being brutal. i really just dont feel that they have the strength to do a smooth extraction.
The male dentist who i had seen for years took exactly 2/3 seconds to extract a tooth. Grab, twist, out. Simple as that. No after pain, no painkillers, brilliant.

suki1964

McKneff wrote: »

To be honest, i really wouldnt recommend a lady dentist. I was put through agony last year when I had to have all my top teeth out.
She had to loosen all the teeth first before extraction which quadrupled the time I was in the chair being worked on. I really felt as if she was being brutal. i really just dont feel that they have the strength to do a smooth extraction.
The male dentist who i had seen for years took exactly 2/3 seconds to extract a tooth. Grab, twist, out. Simple as that. No after pain, no painkillers, brilliant.

I wouldnt tar all female dentists on one bad experience you have had. I had a tiny tiny slip of a female dentist for years and she would have a tooth out before you knew her fingers were near your mouth.

To the OP - as already advised, you need to find a dentist by recommendation and by going in and seeing them. Like you Im a dental phobic and because of a very bad experience when I got a smack across my face from a dentist I didnt go for years and now I find myself in the chair every few months having quite extensive treatments to keep my remaining teeth in my head and my gums as healthy as can be.

No dentist will belittle you. Well not a dentist who actually cares about his/her patients and wants to help them. No matter how bad you feel your mouth is, the dentist will have seen it all before and worse probably and there will be a treatment plan for you.

Even though Im now a regular attendee I still panic at times. Sometimes Im as good as gold and can sit through a treatment, other times I panic, have palpitations, jump out the chair, push the nurse and dentist out the way, burst into tears etc etc ( and Im 46) and still Im treated with dignity and kindness, never once being made to feel stupid or a pain in the backside. My dentist ( and hygienist) are fantastic in the way they take things at a pace that I can cope with and finally there is some improvement to my oral health

Go and find a dentist, Dont forget you can take someone in with you if you dont feel comfortable around male dentists. The dentist wont take it personally

Good luck

faithcecilia

You really have my sympathy. My phobia is such that 2 dentists at the practise I go to, which specialises in nervous patients, refuse to see me! I seriously recommend asking others for opinions, I currently live on the Isle of Wight but travel to my Essex dentist because I trust them and they know me. Tell them you are nervous - tell them you are petrified if you are! Tell them how much you want to know - personally I like to know all the details, I have a friend who wants the bare minimum, we go to the same dentist and they are fine with that. I have the IV sedation and would recommend it to anyone - I don't care what they do so long as I don't know about it at the time! All the best, I really do understand.

faithcecilia

Oh this might sound silly, but I ask my dentist to check my teeth then talk to me once my mouth is shut and I am sat up again - I feel far less vulnerable this way.

MaggieBaking

A fear of the dentists is extremely common - obviously the severities differ but all dentists have some training in dealing with stressed patients. Obviously, some will not be as sympathetic as others.

Don't be worried that they will think you are a unhinged because they will have scared people before. Not only stressed out adults but uncooperative children who find it difficult to comprehend why they need to open their mouth and have it prodded!

If I were you I would make an appointment with a practice you like the look of, and when booking explain your problems to reception and ask that you are given a little more time and which dentist would they recommend. All you need to do for the first appointment is to show up and talk to the dentist. If you don't like them and they aren't reassuring you - leave. Remember you can take someone with you if you feel it might help you feel stronger.

It sounds like you could benefit from some hypnotherapy/cognitive behavioural therapy/NLP to manage your anxiety - PM me for more details if you want.

Remember that you're not alone, there are lots of people with even greater fears - and that you are doing the right thing in starting to work on your problem.

And ignore the advice about female dentists, teeth differ in strength and I know my female dentist friend is as capable as anyone, and indeed, gets patients referred because they're own dentists can't be bothered to do the procedure.

I might be wrong, but I think if you see your own doctor he can prescribe you with short-term anxiety medication for the duration of an appointment.

welshdent

Cookiee wrote: »

Hi peachyprice - I think that would help but women dentist around where I am is like a needle in a haystack. There is one I have googled and they are private. I dont know anything about the practice nor would I be able to afford it I think ...

Can I go to a dentist somewhere where I dont live? Like my mums area?

Over 50% of dental school intakes are female cookiee. There WILL be a female dentist around somewhere believe me. Its not all about what you see on google. Your best bet is to contact your local PCT or LHB and ask them to find you a dentist as it is their responsibility to make provision for you.

Have you considered seeing a behavioural councellor? CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) can work well for some people.

Toothsmith

McKneff wrote: »

To be honest, i really wouldnt recommend a lady dentist. I was put through agony last year when I had to have all my top teeth out.
She had to loosen all the teeth first before extraction which quadrupled the time I was in the chair being worked on. I really felt as if she was being brutal. i really just dont feel that they have the strength to do a smooth extraction.
The male dentist who i had seen for years took exactly 2/3 seconds to extract a tooth. Grab, twist, out. Simple as that. No after pain, no painkillers, brilliant.

If you had put 'black' or 'asian' instead of 'lady' there - you'd probably have been kicked out!

This is outrageous sexism!

If you needed teeth out because of gum problems, then every last bit of jawbone that can be preserved should be preserved, as if you go on for implants, or even if you want a denture to fit snugly for a decent amount of time, then the more bone you have the better.

Therefore, doing 'atraumatic' extractions by loosening the teeth prior to actually removing them is by far and away the very best way to do the job, rather than just ripping out the teeth with however much bone still attached.

Taking teeth out properly ISN'T a strength thing anyway.

The (female) associate I had a few years ago had travelled to Australia with her (dentist) husband shortly after they were married. She'd spent some time working in a community clinic in Tasmania where a big part of the job was looking after the aboriginal population.

She was remarkably good at taking even the hardest teeth out.

Better than me!

McKneff

My apolgies Toothsmith, I really didnt mean it to be sexist, now you have explained why it was done that way I feel better about it.
At the time I was quite traumatised by it all. I could only speak of my experience of the time.

And of course I bow to your experience and no offence was intended.

hotcookie101

McKneff wrote: »

To be honest, i really wouldnt recommend a lady dentist. I was put through agony last year when I had to have all my top teeth out.
She had to loosen all the teeth first before extraction which quadrupled the time I was in the chair being worked on. I really felt as if she was being brutal. i really just dont feel that they have the strength to do a smooth extraction.
The male dentist who i had seen for years took exactly 2/3 seconds to extract a tooth. Grab, twist, out. Simple as that. No after pain, no painkillers, brilliant.

I'm a female vet, not a dentist, but that sounds incredibly sexist and rude. I extract teeth in patients regularly(anaesthetised-obviously!) and unless there is advanced periodontal disease you have to loosen the tooth first, as otherwise you could fracture the root, leaving a fragment which causes problems. It's NOTHING to do with strength-its skill, being brutal about it will not help.
Dentists obviously get a lot more training and practice in extractions than we do (NO practical work on this in vet school) but even so the way she extracted your teeth sounds correct to me. The 2-3 second job extraction must have been on a very diseased tooth

Sorry, I see toothsmith has already made this point. I went through all this "not enough strength to do the job" rubbish when I did some farm work when first qualified, it was never an issue with me. The only thing is when you get 70-100kg dogs you are expected to lift with 1 person, but to be honest, even a strong bloke shouldn't be doing that-its too much &its a reason why so many vets have bad backs/shoulders/necks etc.

McKneff

The 2-3 second job extraction must have been on a very diseased tooth

No, it wasnt, just a very experienced dentist, and your assumption offends me.

I have already apologised to Toothsmith, I would be grateful if you would read my post in which I did and take it on board too.