would you be offended.....

bigmomma051204

if one of your guests contacted your to ask who is ACTUALLY invited to the wedding....

I got married last year and invited one of my oldest and best friends to the whole day. I gave her a plus one, as i did with all of my friends as despite not knowing some of their boyfriends etc, i didnt want anyone to feel left out as a person on their own at the meal, etc. This particular friends boyfriend (who due to him being quite new on the scene, i had only met once before for about 5mins) was a REAL misery at the whole of my wedding. Caused arguments with my friends and had a massive blowout argument outside our venue in the evening with my friend about nothing in particular. He didnt make the effort to smile on ANY photos, and most rudely, when introduced to me and my new husband by my friend, he said "hi" and walked off without saying congrats or anything! Was quite happy to eat my 3 course meal, get !!!!!! on the free wine etc though.
Anyway, basically, after our wedding (the next day in fact!) he proposed to my friend and they are now getting married this year on the same date as we did last year. So i have received an invite. And it only invites ME. Not my husband (or son but thats fine as i understand its an added expense etc lol though my friend IS my sons godmother and he is 7years so wouldnt spoil the day etc AND they have invited other peoples children who are younger so obviously not having a child free day, but again, that doesnt really bother me) Now, i could understand this IF they were trying to save money (but they very much arent... as her boyf is loaded lol!) or simply had decided to just invite all their friends but no partners, etc..... but having gently tested the water with 8 of our friends (the only ones i have spoken to, not the only 8 lol) who are also invited, it seems that actually they all have "plus 1's" for their partners... including people who a)have no partner/boyfriend so are taking "mates from work so they arent sat on their own" and b)people who have only been with their boyfriends a matter of weeks.....
Am i being touchy in thinking that it seems weird that my HUSBAND isnt invited... especially as they can hardly say they didnt know i had a partner having been to our wedding EXACTLY a year earlier. Also this isnt an oversight... i thought maybe it was at first, BUT the i noticed it is not only JUST my name on the invite, it is also just my name on the rsvp too.... I want to point out also that my husband has never fallen out with anyone who is going, ie no reason to not invite him at all...
Also, i would have to go all day and night to their wedding on my FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.....!

So, am i being touchy... and how on earth can i broach this subject!?!?!?!?!?!

(sorry for ranting! :A

McKneff

Just explain to your friend in a phone call that its your first anniversay and you couldnt possibly not be with your husband on this very special day, in all honesty she has probably forgotten that its the same day.

See what she says to that.

bigmomma051204

Thing is, i wouldn't mind going to the wedding and the reception until the evening IF my husband was coming too.... i am not particularly precious over "my" date lol... we could go and then do something in the evening... its hard cos i would really be upset to NOT attend as like i said, she is one of 3 oldest and closest friends.. but i just cannot see why she wouldnt invite my hubby! And without being pedantic, she DOES know when my wedding anniversary is because we were going to have a first anniversary get together which we sent informal (facebook and texts etc) invites out for 2 months ago (for that date obviously)... we then had to retract those invites and cancel our party as she contacted me to say she had booked a venue for that date and said i should cancel which i was happy to do as she implied that her venue only had that date available (which i later found out wasnt true from her sister lol... apparently there were 3 available dates in that month...)

ILoveEoin

Yes i would b, very very offended!!!!

she sounds like she very jealous of u and want everythin u got includin ur weddin date!

3v3

Its very rude to only invite one half of a married couple.
But, as she is one of your "oldest and closest" friends, you should be able to ask her about it. The longer you stew on it, the harder it will be for you to broach the subject.

skea56

Very strange setup indeed.

I would just ask her what the deal is...she obviously hasn't cared about your feelings in this, so why should you?

Spend the day with your husband and enjoy your anniversary.

sk56

McKneff

If she is your oldest friend, you should be able to talk to her.

You maybe do want to go, but if she was adamant, i would presume that you would want to spend the day with your OH.

Better offend her than your husband of one year.

Friends dont do that to each other, so you have to question her motives.

Like I say, talk to her, but do yu really want your OH to feel he is there under sufferance and only tolerated
because you put pressure on her.

Me, I'd just tell her straight that I couldnt possibl attend etc as in my first post............

alarafan

ILoveEoin wrote: »

Yes i would b, very very offended!!!!

she sounds like she very jealous of u and want everythin u got includin ur weddin date!

THIS!

It seems like passive aggressive behaviour if you ask me.

roses

Ditch your friend and prosper in the fact she will be getting divorced soon

Stephb1986_2

Some mate eh love!

The h2b of your "mate" sounds like a right weirdo having a argument and then proposing the day after. If I was you I would decline the invitation and put something like "as you know it's our first wedding anniversary I think it's more important to spend it with my husband" Don't put congratulations or anything either.

Steph xx

Hollie84

Gosh i agree with everythink that others have said here,id be fuming TBH the fact that she being your best friend has had her wedding on the same day takes the shine off the fact that it was your day and is your anniversary.id be really annoyed that she did that especially knowing there were 3 other dates,i mean what sort of friend does that.then not to invite your hubby.Id blatently ask her out right or say im sorry but i cant come its mine and hubbys anniversary u havnt invited him for whatever reason.sounds to me like she doesnt want him there for some reason
Im quite an upfront person and dont beat around the bush so thats how i would deal with it in a round about way.good luck