Well its been a year....

kathfisch

Shamelessly bumping my own thread to see if anyone else has any comments

Still going round and round things in my head and wanting to talk to my parents about it, but don't know how

Mrs_Sparkle

Aw honey how's it going? Have you managed to speak to that midwife contact yet? I think that will help you.

How do you think your parents will react? I'm sure they will be delighted that you're considering such a worthwhile career. Will they need to help you financially at all? Sorry for bombarding you with questions

kathfisch

Mrs_Sparkle wrote:

Aw honey how's it going? Have you managed to speak to that midwife contact yet? I think that will help you.

How do you think your parents will react? I'm sure they will be delighted that you're considering such a worthwhile career. Will they need to help you financially at all? Sorry for bombarding you with questions

I haven't spoken to the midwife yet, I'm a bit unsure how I go about arranging a day off work to go out with her (am starting a new contract at work on tuesday, don't have any accumulated holiday or anything, so will have to persuade someone to cover for me I think). Apparently she's not really allowed to take me out without getting permission and police checks etc (I do actually have a full CRB check, she didn't know) but she volunteered to do it anyway because she knows how hard it is to get experience, which is fab of her!

I think it will really help to go out with her, definitely. I might have a 'yes, this is what I want to do' moment or I might not... either is a step forward!

I don't think my parents will mind at all, they're very open minded and always really supportive of whatever I want to do. They've already said that if I wanted to study more (they were thinking of a masters or something I guess) they'd be happy to help me financially. Although if I did get a place to do widwifery here in wales (dunno about england) I'd pay no tuition fees and get a sizeable bursary as well as student loan, so hopefully I could be as financially independent as possible.

Its just turning into a 'secret' now, something I'm thinking about and not talking to them about. If i let it go on and do things like go out with the midwife for the day, its just making the 'secret' bigger... when there's no reason to keep it secret. I hate not telling them things.

It just seems like such a random thing to have settled on, not as if its always been my ambition or something. The competition for course places is so fierce that i'm going to have to be very determined, and have my reasons all sorted if I want to convince a uni to have me!

I also feel really awkward talking about it because the subject of feeling broody and maternal will probably come up, and somehow that's awkward talking to my parents about. I can't explain exactly... somehow its connected to my sexuality and that's not a problem for them but it isn't something that's easy to talk about.

Oh gosh... rambling on and on! All this is just going round and round in my head... nothing's ever simple is it?! :rolleyes: :rotfl:

x

hypno06

Trust your instincts and go for it! I switched this year from being a stockbroker to being a complementary therapist! Not much of a change! But in all honesty, the best thing I ever did, and at the time of making a choice, it was indeed very random!

Good luck - you will be fab at whatever you choose to do.

LookingAhead

Hi Kath.

Please stop worrying....you will make this bigger than it really is if you are not careful hun

And also, by the time it takes her to arrange for your day out with her, you may well have accumulated a day off. About 1.5 to 2.5 days per month worked is about the ratio.

Happy New Year to you Kath, stop worrying and look at 2007 as the year you really get yourself out there and make things happen! And that could be stepping into a new learning & career path or saying "It's not actually for me but at least I tried"

Mrs_Sparkle

Sorry for the delay in replying- hubby nicked the laptop :rolleyes:

Your parents sound great and I think you should mention it to them. You're making it a big issue by worrying about it while I don't think you need to worry. Save your stress for getting that course place!

If it's any consolation talking about maternal feelings to parents isn't easy for a straight girl either. And I still felt a bit embarrassed about telling my parents I was pregnant- as if they'd know that I wasn't a virgin (I'm 35 and have been married twice :rotfl: ). When you meet Ms Right you will be a family unit like any other and they will be thrilled just to see you happy.

Go on, tell them about your plans. I bet they'll be impressed that you're so focused and responsible at such a young age- I certainly am!

x

Snaggles

Hi Kath!

Just for the record, from the (admittedly not much) I know about you, I think you would make a great midwife. You seem to have the ability to put people at ease, and that is soooo important when you're in that line of work.

As I'm pregnant at the moment, if there's anything you want to ask me at all about pregnancy or giving birth, I would be happy to answer (if I know the answer!). I know I can probably only tell you the same stuff that you could read in a book anyway, but if you want to be my 'virtual midwife' you are more than welcome lol!

As others have mentioned, if your motivation for wanting to be a midwife is linked to your maternal instincts, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing (people choose careers for much stranger reasons). If you were doing it as a direct replacement for having a baby of your own (which it doesn't sound like you are), then I would worry that you would eventually find yourself feeling unfulfilled, but it doesn't sound like this is the case for you.

I bet midwives have to answer some really funny questions from stressed-out Mums-to-be. I know I've asked my midwife some really stupid things. It's a shame you haven't started your training yet, or I could ask you, and save my blushes!

Snaggles

Mrs_Sparkle wrote:

If it's any consolation talking about maternal feelings to parents isn't easy for a straight girl either. And I still felt a bit embarrassed about telling my parents I was pregnant- as if they'd know that I wasn't a virgin

That's so funny - so did I!!

kathfisch

Thank you all of you!

LA - I know you're right and i'm worrying too much! It is getting made into a big deal in my head but I don't want it to be like that.

Mrs S - you keep saying I'm so focussed and responsible... sometimes it doesn't feel like that inside me but I appreciate the compliment!

Thank you Snaggles for your offer, I don't have any questions at the moment but I will pm you if I think of any! You're very clever to make the distinction between wanting to be a midwife because of maternal instincts or as a substitute for a baby of my own... its definitely the first rather than the second in my case... but you saying it like that has made it clearer in my head.

Its reassuring to know its not easy for other people too, funny isn't it... I'm an independent adult but sometimes its hard to behave like one with them, especially when I'm back living with them :rolleyes:

Well I'm staying in tonight with them (very dfw hey!) so perhaps I'll find a chance to chat to them about everything.

Have a good evening everyone and Happy New Year!

Kath x

beanielou

All i want to say is follow your heart.
Find out as much as you can & if it still appeals then go for it.