Hints and tips for weaning (merged)

Nicki

funky-footprints wrote: »

i think some posters seem to forget that not all babies are text book, some just seem to like hearing thier own voice !

I think that's really unfair and a horrible thing to say.

Being a new mum is a hard job, and most new mums (I know I certainly did) like to have advice and a range of perspectives from other mums who've been there and can speak from experience. Are you trying to say that when specifically asked for advice that no mother should give it, lest their perspective is different from that of the person asking the question, or that of someone else who hears the answer? If so, we'd all be bringing up our children completely on our own and in the dark, which would be a cold and lonely place to be.

For some reason Milliebear has come in for a lot of unpleasantness on this thread even though she didn't say anything different to other posters who advocated sticking to the official guidelines if possible, and didn't say it in an offensive way either imo. If a range of opinions and advice can't be discussed sensibly, without people flying off the handle because some people's view doesn't happen to agree with their own practice, its a sad state of affairs. There may well be people lurking who have very sound medical reasons (eg allergies) not to wean before 6 months but have hungry cranky babies like nadnad's, and I am positive that they would have found Milliebear's and some of the other posts very helpful.

stingylolo

IMO health visitors are simply useless. Was a new mum, didn't have a clue about most things.
Baby had quite spectacular gastric reflux, and would wake up gasping for air. All I had was "oh it's nothing"... but they weren't there to see, sometimes he'd start turning blue. OK it's a common problem, but as a mum you worry, and it's horrible hearing someone dismissing it that way. Then I got told off because I was sleeping with him on the sofa for the first three months because of this problem. I always made sure that he was safe and there was no way he's fall or slide under the cushions. I was more worried about sleeping in my own bed, and not hearing him gasping for breath and being able to wake up to see if it was going.
Had problems with breastfeeding, which they dismissed in the same way... so they push you to breastfeed, but they won't give you support when it's not straightforward.
Haven't seen my health visitor for almost a year now. She never contacted me for the 18 months checkup. I feel like DS is doing really well. He's a happy chappy, healthy, good weight and height. And if I need any advice I will go to see GP.
I think they're merely people that will give you whatever is written in the books, the latest craze, if you don't follow or listen you get an earful. The two I had were mothers themselves, yet when they are in their jobs, they always seem to forget that. My life was much easier after I stopped listening to them and instead listened to my child's cycle and worked with it.
You have other children, you know how kids get when they start being interested in food, that's when you need to start. It will come naturally. Motherhood is something natural that people have done for hundreds of years, without health visitors. The best guidance you can get is the guidance from your past experiences with your other children. Babies are all different and will all develop differently, with the various stages at various times.

nadnad

Nicki - all that Millie bear has said is DONT feed before 6 months, which is because its a government guideline, which everyone knows by now. She actually didnt give any other advice at all. The only thing she came up with to me was that my LO was prbably having a growth spurt, which its not. So her posts weren't really that helpful imo.

Nicki

nadnad wrote: »

Nicki - all that Millie bear has said is DONT feed before 6 months, which is because its a government guideline, which everyone knows by now. She actually didnt give any other advice at all. The only thing she came up with to me was that my LO was prbably having a growth spurt, which its not. So her posts weren't really that helpful imo.

Actually no, she didn't just say that. Yes, she said that frequent waking for feeding was often a sign of an impending growth spurt. She then went on to explain that with growth spurts the baby needs a different kind of breast milk and that it takes about a week for your milk to change its composition to meet the baby's needs. She explained to you that it wasn't about quantity (as you had thought) but about nutritional make up.

You then asked her whether your baby was showing signs of being ready - teeth, gag reflex and frequent waking. She again responded that these were not infallible signs as newborns can be born with teeth, the gag reflex never completely disappears, and frequent waking is not necessarily a sign. Again, this was new information which it seemed you did not know.

You personally may not have found Milliebear's advice helpful nadnad, and clearly you have had personalised advice from hvs and gps, which you should follow. However that is not to say that Milliebear's advice was wrong, or not helpful to anyone reading this thread. And given that you had had professional advice which you claim is 100% correct, why were you posting for more advice here, without disclosing the professional advice you'd already had, then flying off the handle when other mum's didn't come to the same conclusion? We all, as mums, try different approaches for the same problems, and in different orders. The fact that someone suggested you try something different first, doesn't make that a personal attack on you. As far as criticism goes, Milliebear was not overtly critical of you (in fact checking back on the thread it was another poster who denounced you by name, but who you didn't attack at all for some reason ).

For these reasons I do think that it is terribly unfair for you and others to be gunning for Milliebear in the way that you are. If your early weaning has worked as well as you say it has, then you can't really in all honesty use the "sleep-deprived excuse" that you trotted out yesterday for your bad temper. If your baby still isn't sleeping well and you are only getting 3 hours sleep in total in every 24 hours, then clearly early weaning isn't working, and as others have suggested the root of your baby's difficulties may not be hunger, and you should perhaps explore other explanations.

I don't want to get into a fight with you, and I am not, whatever you might choose to believe, criticising your parenting decisions, however I am criticising your hectoring and unpleasant manner to another poster who was only attempting in good faith to offer support and advice to all new mums, not just you, and who does not deserve your response.

milliebear00001

nadnad wrote: »

Nicki - all that Millie bear has said is DONT feed before 6 months, which is because its a government guideline, which everyone knows by now. She actually didnt give any other advice at all. The only thing she came up with to me was that my LO was prbably having a growth spurt, which its not. So her posts weren't really that helpful imo.

You see what you want to see Nadnad, as your constant misquotes of my posts prove. I won't be bullied by your personal attacks and will continue to offer advice in this post, and others, as I see fit. The views I have expressed are perfectly valid, and will be relevant to many parents and babies - you are not the only person seeking advice and opinion on the board. My advice has not been based on my own personal experiences because I don't think they are particularly relevant, nor are they based on 'Government' advice. They are based on sound, wide-ranging, valid and reliable research by the World Health Organisation. As you have pointed out yourself many time, you are obviously struggling with some pretty severe challenges at the moment. I wish you the best of luck in the future.

milliebear00001

Spendless wrote: »

Thank you for your replies milliebear and nadnad. Then I have to say weaning how you do at 6 months today IS'NT the same as how I was told to at four months. (I am saying *I* because I've never watched another mum wean). You built up to it a lot slower because you had 3 months before you got to the lumpier food stage. My youngest is 5yo so my memory is sketchy, but IIRC after a couple of weeks, you might still only be on a few spoonfuls of baby rice (or fruit/veg puree).

I'm mentioning this as I'm aware there has been a conflict of opinion on this thread;) and perhaps this needs taking into account when people are saying their babies were fine weaned at a younger age, it was being done a lot slower as they weren't building to the lumpier stage a month later.

It's true that babies weaned younger have longer to build up to lumps in food. My daughter was weaned at 4 months and didn't mind lumps when introduced at 6 months. My son, weaned at 6 months wouldn't eat puree at all and went straight to lumpy food. Babies weaned at 6 months are likely to be ready for lumpier food anyway as they naturally have less gag reflex and so take to lumps a lot easier. Certainly, my HV said that within a month babies should move from puree to lumps without too many problems and I haven't really heard of anyone I know having problems with this, but that is of course, only anecdotal evidence.

nadnad

Nicki,
"Actually no, she didn't just say that. Yes, she said that frequent waking for feeding was often a sign of an impending growth spurt. She then went on to explain that with growth spurts the baby needs a different kind of breast milk and that it takes about a week for your milk to change its composition to meet the baby's needs. She explained to you that it wasn't about quantity (as you had thought) but about nutritional make up."



actually during a growth spurt the milk prduction does increase and the baby does feed more. the composition of your breatmilk stays basically the same after about 3 months of breast feeding when it is mature milk, the composition does not change as Milliebear suggested and it is about producing more milk during a growth spurt - so the information she gave here was incorrect - Kellymom has a great section on milk production and explains this in detail.

the information she gave regarding signs that a baby is ready or not for weaning, was also not informative - she told me some babies are born with teeth and the gag reflex can't be checked until you wean. Obviously a baby born with teeth is not ready for solids, but in MOST babies it is a sign that things are moving along and the baby may be ready for solids. And as for the gag reflex - well if you try you baby on solids and they push the food back out of their mouth - then no they aren't ready - but if they are able to take the food then this is another sign that they may be ready for a spoon feed. Obviously you will never know if this is the case (even in a 6 month old) until you try it.

and yes weaning him has helped the situation - i think i pointed out the reason i wasn't getting much sleep that night was due to him teething - he was suffering badly and up for most of the night.

Nicki

Nadnad, I'm sorry but as it is clear you are on a witchhunt, I am now going to repeat what I said to you in a PM but in much blunter terms to make sure you understand what I am saying.

You are being wholly unreasonable and frankly most unpleasant. Milliebear does not deserve any of this. Her posts don't bear the interpretation you put on them on any rational reading of them.

Prior to having your baby were you known to be like this? Did you frequently fall out with complete strangers over total trivia and take everything as a personal criticism? If you did not, I really do urge you to discuss your own health with your health visitor. The post partum period does strange things to us sometimes and you may feel a lot better with some help for yourself.

I wish you well, and will try not to post any more about this, as I feel you have hijacked the thread into a personal battle, and that anyone who comes here seeking genuine help will be disappointed after page 1.

milliebear00001

Although I'm delighted my posts have prompted you to go away and do some research for yourself, the information re. the changing composition of breastmilk I gave is correct. I am happy to give you the particulars of the research that shows this - I have a wealth of it, as I used to be a breastfeeding counsellor.

I would prefer not to hijack this thread any longer answering each of your specific criticisms of my posts - it must be very tedious for everyone else. Perhaps if you have any further comments to make you could PM me.

milliebear00001

Nicki wrote: »

Nadnad, I'm sorry but as it is clear you are on a witchhunt, I am now going to repeat what I said to you in a PM but in much blunter terms to make sure you understand what I am saying.

You are being wholly unreasonable and frankly most unpleasant. Milliebear does not deserve any of this. Her posts don't bear the interpretation you put on them on any rational reading of them.

Prior to having your baby were you known to be like this? Did you frequently fall out with complete strangers over total trivia and take everything as a personal criticism? If you did not, I really do urge you to discuss your own health with your health visitor. The post partum period does strange things to us sometimes and you may feel a lot better with some help for yourself.

I wish you well, and will try not to post any more about this, as I feel you have hijacked the thread into a personal battle, and that anyone who comes here seeking genuine help will be disappointed after page 1.

Sorry Nicki, our posts crossed! Thanks for your articulate support.