Stopping Breastfeeding - Help!

always_poor_2

Hi, congratulations on your little man, if you're sure you want to stop then don't keep expressing - your body works on a kind of supply and demand system - if you keep expressing it will keep producing.

If you want to carry on, I was recommended by a Breast Feeding councellor to express 8 times a day, 5 mins on the right, then 5 on the left, then 5 on the right, then 5 on left again - it will take a few days to build up enough milk. Make sure you eat and drink plenty - you need to nourish your body to get it to produce milk.

Whatever you decide, make sure it's the right decision for you and that it doesn't make you feel guilty or upset. I had to express for 6 months (extremely prem baby) and I can't tell you how many tears I had, as long as you and your baby are both happy you're doing the right thing for you both, whatever you may decide xxx

kirstle99

Thanks for all the replies everyone, it's so good to know others have been in my place. I did have a breastfeeding lady with me for 1 hour yesterday, we spent ages trying to get little man to latch on properly, we also did this in the hospital before I came home and both times even she said he was a naughty feeder.

I am going to stop completely, it's painful though!

I'll give the cabbage a try thanks for that suggestion! Standing in a luke warm shower seems to help aswell, and I do have a close-fitting maternity bra to wear so i'll keep 'strapped up' overnight I think.

Little man has been so much more settled since I moved him onto formula, so that's at least reassuring.

It is hard though, I did have a cry yesterday and felt like a bit of a failure but today I do feel a bit better.

Thanks again everyone!

maryjane01

Nicki wrote: »

It doesn't have to hurt for 6 weeks! Once you and baby get the hang of things it should stop hurting immediately virtually.

I got told the same 6 week thing, and right on about 6 weeks breastfeeding it stopped hurting. I think when people promoting breastfeeding say it doesn't hurt if you feed correctly, it makes a lot of women feel like failures because it can hurt A LOT in the early weeks. I didn't even have anything obvious like cracked and bleeding nipples. Once you settle into it, I agree it does not hurt (until they get curious and start to look around while still latched on, or take a chomp, even without teeth those gums can hurt!). Breast feeding counsellors should warn women that a lot of women can experience a lot of pain in the early days, but that does not mean you cannot go on to be a successful breastfeeding mum.

OP, hang in there if you want to breastfeed, also, a common thing that can cause a lot of trouble is tounge tie, so you could ask your health visitor or doctor to look at your babies tounge to rule it out. I feel for you, you thnk being pregnant for 40 weeks is hard work, then you have a baby! Get some rest and try and enjoy your little bundle.

somethingsgottogive

Just a quick question, but in all of this hot weather have you been drinking enough? Could you maybe just not have the fluid in you to produce enough milk?

If you're not getting any constructive help from midwife/health visitor, most Surestart centres can put you in touch with a Breast Feeding Support worker.

If you decide that it's just not working for you and your Son and want to use formula, please don't let anyone make you feel like a failure. I was in hospital for 4 days with my LO, trying to feed her while she kicked herself away from me and screamed - I got no help from the midwives, just a 'get used to it, babies scream' when I asked for help, and in the end they TOLD me to give up and give her a bottle. I cried everytime I bottle fed her for about 3 weeks and felt like I'd destroyed her tiny life over it, but now she is as bright and healthy as any other child, and I know now that it's not a case of failing AT ALL.

xx

maryjane01

Sorry OP, I was writing my message when you posted yours. Don't feel a failure, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about your decision as to how to feed your baby. Just get on with it and enjoy it all. xx

Nicki

maryjane01 wrote: »

I think when people promoting breastfeeding say it doesn't hurt if you feed correctly, it makes a lot of women feel like failures because it can hurt A LOT in the early weeks.

Sorry! Wasn't intending to make anyone feel a failure. But on the other hand it must be demoralising when you are tired and in extreme pain to be told that it will continue for another 6 weeks constantly, when that isn't the experience of a lot of women. I was focussing more on OP's needs than the sensibilities of anyone else reading the thread.

OP, sounds like you have made up your mind, so don't look back now. As others have said bottle fed babies do just as well as breastfed and as you gave it your best shot there is nothing to beat yourself up over. My youngest was failure to thrive and we discovered at 5 months he was intolerant to breast milk and had to switch to a medicalised formula. He didn't look back from then on and it upset me more than him to be honest to make the switch. When I did stop feeding (suddenly as it turned out) after 5 month of virtually fully feeding it really wasn't uncomfortable for more than a day or two, and I did occasionally open a valve without it derailing the drying up process. You might need a bath towel with you in bed for a few nights though as you will probably leak copiously when baby wakes for a feed!

barbiedoll

OP, don't feel guilty or think that you're a failure if you don't breastfeed any longer. I'm a breastfeeding helper and I would encourage anyone who wants or needs b/f help, to ask for it, there is help out there, although you do sometimes have to look hard!

But if you've made the decision to stop, that's fine too. You will be in some pain for a few days, but don't express any milk at all or you will just produce more. The cabbage leaf idea is supposed to be very good, you can buy gel breast pads which you can put in the fridge, also good. But now that you're not feeding, you can take paracetamol and ibuprofen (as long as you're not asthmatic or suffering from any stomach complaints, ulcers etc). Ibuprofen is an anti-inflammatory and can help a little with the swelling, take 2 x 500mg paracetamol tablets, 4 times daily and 1 x 400mg ibuprofen tablet, 3 times daily. (Try to space them out over 24 hours, not just over the daytime!) Take with food if you can, ibuprofen can give you indigestion-type pains if taken alone.

In 3 or 4 days time, the pain and swelling will ease, although you may still leak for a couple of weeks, especially when the baby cries! Congratulations on the birth of your baby, I know the first few weeks are hard but it really does get easier, I promise! (Just wait till he's a teenager, it all starts again!!)

Good luck xx

Mupette

I too struggled, DS never had a proper feed with me, in fact he was loosing weight, i flet bullied into staying with the breastfeeding, even though ds was not putting weight on.

Do what you think is best, breast is not always best.

from my experience breast was not best if my son was starving.

i struggled for 6 weeks... i should of stopped sooner.


Again do what you think is right for you and baby.

pinkclouds

It does hurt a lot when you start breastfeeding. With my first baby, it was about 2 months before there was no pain and I was totally confident and comfortable feeding her. With my second baby, it was still painful for a week or so even though I was still feeding my first child! (Tandem feeding.) A newborn's latch is very strong and powerful. So, much sympathies to you.

I don't know how easy it is to stop instantly. My mom told me that you should drop a feed every so often until you stop completely - and a lot of other women have said the same (about stopping gradually). Even though you are not nursing, I would guess that maybe you should try something similar - express a bit every so often until your milk dries up because engorgement is very painful and can potentially lead to mastitis. Maybe when you are in the shower (lots of steam and warm water), you could try hand expressing a little - just to the point where it is more comfortable? (Btw, hand expressing is a skill, which takes time to develop - that's maybe why you haven't been able to express much. In the early days, I relied on a manual pump. I couldn't get the hang of hand expressing immediately but it was a lot easier in the shower.)

Don't feel like a failure! At least you've tried and it's not like your baby is going to starve. Lots of babies thrive successfully on infant formula milk. And if you change your mind in the future, a lactation consultant could help with re-lactation. In an imperfect world, people just try their best - and if you try your best then that is good enough. Good luck.

kafkathecat

Something I didn't see in any books and which I was only told after having problems was that fair skin people suffer most from sore nipples and bleeding.