Stopping Breastfeeding - Help!

kirstle99

Hi All,

My little man is only 6 days old. Since day 1 we have had terrible problems with him latching on properly, and I have suffered with very sore nipples and even bleeding on one side. I was not enjoying the experience, dreading every feed, and little man was getting distressed and wanting to feed more often because of him not latching properly.

This has led me to the difficult decision to stop breastfeeding. Initially, I was going to express milk and feed him in bottles that way, but I am not even getting out 1/2 an ounce.

My boobs are so swollen and painful under where my armpits are - I know this is due to the milk. I have been expressing 2-5 mins to try and get some of the excess out but to no avail. I do leak milk in the shower though so have been doing this today.

My question really is, is there any right or wrong way to do this? I had heard it can take up to 3 days before things start to settle down and the pain to subside - is this right?

Plans_all_plans

Have you tried wetting flannels with hot water and putting these on to ease the pain in your breasts? Also, have you tried Lanolin cream for the sore nipples? These things both worked well for me.

If you still think you would like to breastfeed, but are just finding it hard at this time, there are support groups around and your midwife/health visitor should be able to help you. I found it difficult at first (and my milk seemed to take an age to come in and my DD lost a lot of weight in the first fortnight)

If you are 100% sure that you want to stop, then I wouldn't try to express and I would use the hot wet flannels myself. Your midwife should be able to give you more advice either way. Best of luck!!

building_with_lego

It would be three days or so if you're not expressing the excess as any stimulation gets your breasts to continue producing milk. If you're sure you want to stop then just stop but stock up on paracetomol! Cabbage leaves can help too and they don't have to be cold.
If you're not completely sure have you been seen by a breastfeeding counsellor? NCT: 0300 330 0771
La Leche League: 0845 120 2918
I've not breastfed for 18 months but can still remember that over- full feeling: you have my sympathy!

Oh, and congratulations on the birth of your little fella!

morganb

Firstly, use savoy cabbage leaves in your bra, this will reduce the pain and swelling within about ten minutes and is very soothing but be warned, don't forget to take them out of your bra when you go to wash it otherwise all your washing will smell of cabbage! Can you tell I did that! Also if it is very hot then you run the risk of smelling of cabbage too ... but it's worth it

Secondly, for cracked or bleeding nipples really the best remedy for this is to rub some of your milk on there, you should find this very soothing.

HTH

morganb

Also if you are expressing milk then your body thinks there is demand for it, so it will produce more.
If you are certain you want to stop breastfeeding then I would suggest going for the cabbage leaves and then stopping straight away; the cabbage leaves will be very helpful.

shy-but-need-help

Cabbage leaves do help (darker green the better) and yes, when someone told me that with my first child my first thought was they'd gone mad, my second thought was "what the hell was the first person who discovered that up to?"

Building with lego has some good advice about helplines to ensure you get the right support, my sister had an awful time beginning nursing (traumatic birth and then issues latching, tongue tie- all sorts!) but they were very helpful for her as was the kellymom website and she is now onto her 17th month of nursing her son.

I chose to formula feed my oldest three, I then breastfeed my younger 2 (one to age 3.5years and the other to age 13months when I stopped to go back on my medications) and in all honesty there is absolutely no difference between the five of them, you couldn't look at them and chose which was fed which way. I recently weaned my youngest and it took a good week to have normal feeling boobs again but that was after a year of feeding, expressing should be a last resort if you do want to give up as everytime you express you're causing your body to decide there is still a demand for a milk supply. A good supportive bra is pretty much essential too and keep an eye out for signs of mastitis setting in.

onlyroz

Have you spoken to your health-visitor or community midwife about your concerns, or been to a breastfeeding clinic?

I found that it took a few weeks for my skin to "toughen up", and after that it became easier.

Nicki

If the decision to stop has distressed you, then I'd leave my options open a little and make things more comfortable for myself as well.

Why not bottle feed him today (with formula) and express off as much as you need to feel comfortable. It doesn't matter if this is only a quarter of an ounce, just relieve the pressure. At the same time work on restoring your nipples to normality. Get the midwife to check you don't have thrush. If you do treat it. If you don't, I second the rubbing breast milk in and letting them air dry. As baby is having formula today, let dad do all the night feeds and get a decent nights sleep. You will feel miles better in the morning.

Tomorrow, if your breasts feel more comfortable, reevaluate whether you genuinely want to stop completely. If you aren't sure, then give the baby one breast feed at a time you feel comfortable and when baby is not starving hungry but just starting to root. For the other feeds give formula and express to make yourself comfortable. If you do want to continue, gradually add in more breast feeds as you can manage them and drop the bottle. Your milk supply will adjust, provided you are patient, and it is perfectly possible to move from mixed feeding to fully breastfeeding if you want to, or to do mixed feeding from the outset despite what militant breastfeeders and midwives will say! (all 3 of mine were mixed fed/supplemented while I was still in hospital post birth and for a period afterwards for medical reasons, and my middle child was actually exclusively bottle fed between day 2 and 8, and we still established full breastfeeding successfully when we got home).

If you DO decide that you want to give up completely, you can either go cold turkey which will be quicker but more uncomfortable, or you can do it over time, by expressing a small amount every time the breast feels unbearable (but don't empty the breast just take the pressure off) and trying to leave longer and longer between doing so. In which case, don't feel guilty about bottle feeding, just look at your beautiful newborn who will be thriving and putting on weight however you feed him, and feel proud you made the right decision for you both at the time.

Plans_all_plans

Nicki wrote: »

Why not bottle feed him today (with formula) and express off as much as you need to feel comfortable.

If you are unsure, then I was told not to use a bottle if you want to go back to breastfeeding. I was given a small plastic measuring cup to cup feed my DD formula as she had lost so much weight but I didn't want to give up breastfeeding entirely. The midwives told me that the way in which a child cup feeds is more similar to the way they breastfeed and that a bottle can interfere with a baby's sucking reflex if you intend to mix feed for a while.

kafkathecat

The best advice I ever had was that it would hurt for 6 weeks, that kept me going, bleeding and everything. The health visitor showed me how to feed so the baby is laying under your armpit and that helped for some reason. Once your are settled it is so much easier and obviously cheaper too. I hope you feel better soon whatever your decision.

Nicki

kafkathecat wrote: »

The best advice I ever had was that it would hurt for 6 weeks, that kept me going, bleeding and everything. The health visitor showed me how to feed so the baby is laying under your armpit and that helped for some reason. Once your are settled it is so much easier and obviously cheaper too. I hope you feel better soon whatever your decision.

It doesn't have to hurt for 6 weeks! Once you and baby get the hang of things it should stop hurting immediately virtually. The trouble is when you are exhausted and in pain it's hard to get the space to solve the problems and in the meantime the baby still needs to be fed. It's just a shame that breastfeeding support is so hit and miss that a lot of mums get to the point where its just too painful to push on through.

OP if you do decide to carry on, I would also urge you to get some specialised advice on technique (ie not from the health visitor or midwife who probably won't be well enough trained but from a breastfeeding supporter). It's likely to just need a small tweak in positioning to make all the difference between intense pain and bleeding nipples and a hungry baby, to happy mum and child. Its a bit like learning to put your contact lenses in and out. When you don't know how to do it, it's painful uncomfortable and frustrating, and no one can really describe to you how to do it, but once it clicks, it becomes second nature and doesn't hurt at all