anyone had a temporary split

advicepleaseguys

Hey,

ok I use the forum under another name. trying to remain anonymous here. anyone ever split from their other half on a trial and find it work for them or confirm things aren't meant to be? me n oh are just not getting on. do not know if space will work with marriage counselling. got kids too so its a hard choice to make - if anyone can offer personal experience i would really appreciate it.

thanks for reading.:(

BitterAndTwisted

In my experience temporary splits have never worked. They are just an excuse to not get down to discuss and resolve issues together.

Kimberley82

Worked very well for us, my advice would be to make it a short break to calm down and see things better. Not more than a week.

advicepleaseguys

I can see why you would say that bitter and twisted but I feel like my backs so far up, the least thing would just cause me to blow up, tried talking - startin off a fresh on a new week for the same crap day in and day out.

Thanks Kimberley82 am away for a week with the kids on holiday - wondering if when I come back to put oh out would make him think differently being away from the home.

denton6

it is worth a try, didnt work out for us im afraid but everyone is different. mine cheated on me, went to give us space, decided he wanted us back, came home then left again, he is with person who he cheated on me with.space can give you time to breathe and think what you really want. it is maybe easier if no one else was involved as in my situation.

Kimberley82

advicepleaseguys wrote: »

I can see why you would say that bitter and twisted but I feel like my backs so far up, the least thing would just cause me to blow up, tried talking - startin off a fresh on a new week for the same crap day in and day out.

Thanks Kimberley82 am away for a week with the kids on holiday - wondering if when I come back to put oh out would make him think differently being away from the home.

I took the kids to my mums for the week, really helped as I wasnt sitting around thinking about him but being happy and I missed him, and he missed me and we started talking

clearing_out_my_pockets

It depends what you mean by a 'temporary split'. Do you mean getting away from the house temporarily but still being a couple or do you mean actually splitting up?

I had what I called a temporary break from my ex once. I'd had enough of his lies and of feeling taken advantage of. I told him that he needed to make more of an effort if he wanted a future with me. He didn't make the effort and about a month after our temporary split, I made it permanent. With the benefit of hindsight I suppose I didn't want to patch things up, but I was too much of a coward to end it properly.

advicepleaseguys

thanks again.

I think the space will be good for a start with chance to breathe and think clearly without the chance of erruptions but I think I know my answer just now but it could be the anger making me think 'irrationally' but got everything to go for with it on the other hand.. wish I could fast forward six months and know where I was and that i was sorted with this mess one way or another.... I know dream on you say I do have to deal with it.

am trying believe me. i just feel so past the stage i dont have any emotion bar anger. all cried out.

scooby088

I saw the relationship break i had an ideal time to meet other women, as technically we weren't together and made me decide to make the relationship break more permanent. If after two weeks of a break you miss the person then i'd say go back, but if you don't move on out of limbo land.

j.e.j.

I'd say take a mini break from each other, see how you both feel. Counselling (if you're both willing) might help you both to see the other's point of view, too. As you say if there's kids involved it's important to try and make things work. A quick glimpse just thru the threads on this board is enough to tell you how horrendously difficult and complicated it can all get when a marriage breaks down, and then both partners get new partners who have kids from previous partners, and then want a baby with the new partner etc etc!

kitschkitty

I think it really depends on what situations and issues are causing problems in the relationship, how good the relationship has been in general in the past.

If there are issues with infidelity, violence or other major problems then I'm not sure if it will make any difference.

If it's multiple stresses and strains that have gotten too much then it may help.

About 6 or 7 years ago hubby and I (before we were married) went through a lot of very stressful situations: family resentments, bereavement, money issues and depression to name a few. We got to the point where we were both under so much stress we were very unhappy. We didn't split up but my hubby decided to move out for a month, to give himself thinking space. It was very hard during that time as we agreed to limit contact as much as possible and only saw each other a few times, but he came to realise he missed me and wanted us to be together, and he came home. We've had ups and downs since then, but over the last few years, things have just got better, and stronger and happier for us.