Not married? Living together? Protect yourself!

ditsydoris_2

A word of warning to all of you living together. My partner of 10 yrs was attacked and left for dead in Sept 2010. After 4 weeks in Intensive Care with severe brain injuries and months of rehab I would like to point out the problems of dealing with his finances. I tried to pay numerous bills over the phone for him but was refused under " Data Protection ". No one would speak to me or answer questions. I was constantly asked for " Power of Attorney " which you cannot get when the person is mentally unfit. As I didn't know his pin numbers to certain accounts or passwords to his online credit card payment system I couldn't pay anything. When I phoned the credit card companies and asked for paper bills they refused to send them , even though I was trying to give them money! No one would deal with me even though we had shared the same address' for over 10 years and had a mortgage together for 4 years on our property we reside in. We have 2 children and are all but in name married but no one would deal with me. I ended up asking the social worker at the hospital to step in and help me but no one would deal with her either! Just a warning for all of you that think it won't happen to you! Get Power of Attorney or know all your partners details ( ie pin numbers ). I was left with no access to his accounts or internet banking. I was threatened with debt collectors for his accounts that were unpaid but neither would they let me pay them as i wasn't the account holder! When the police arrived at 3am I expected the worse but actually the worst was yet to come purely because we weren't married. I am not saying get married!, but think about what would happen if one of you was unable to function ( even in the near future ).

Dave101t

well, his debts would be his debts, nothing to do with you.

freeoffers

ditsydoris wrote: »

We have 2 children and are all but in name married but no one would deal with me. .

From their point of view though you are not married and you could be anyone trying to get hold of his details. I don't really blame the companies for adhering to security measures. Its just one of those things, if you're married you have more legal rights.

freeoffers

ditsydoris wrote: »

I ended up asking the social worker at the hospital to step in and help me but no one would deal with her either! .

Why should they? They are not obligated to deal with social workers. Its nothing to do with her, she's not related to the account holder. Its an interesting post but quite frankly just because 2 people live together that does not necessarily give one the right to control the others finances, regardless of the situation

vyle

Dave101t wrote: »

well, his debts would be his debts, nothing to do with you.

Could the debts not be passed onto the kids though? I'm sure I've heard about that before, unless it's a myth that's got about.

hermione987uk

why do you not have a joint account? I have my own account for savings but we have a joint account for bill payments and I have a direct debit set up for my credit card so if anything like this happened (touch wood it won't) we would be able to cope financially

Oldernotwiser

None of that is to do with not being married. I often have to deal with my husband's finances on the phone and they won't deal with me unless he's given them permission.

Apart from the financial side of things, everybody knows that being married gives you more rights than just living with someone.

sharloid

I don't think it would have made a difference if you were married as the data protection act would still stand. Even if you shared a surname you could still be trying to lawfully get details or money or something.

When I worked at a call centre for British Gas we were allowed to take payment for anyone though, so the fact that you were refused is a little odd. :S

LittleMissInDebt

I'm so sorry for your what happened, and what an awful lot to go through afterwards. I hope you are able to get it all sorted out soon - did you try CAB? They might be able to give your further advice.

Best wishes
LMID

ifonlyitwaseasier

vyle wrote: »

Could the debts not be passed onto the kids though? I'm sure I've heard about that before, unless it's a myth that's got about.

its a myth, debts would go to the estate and if not enough there to pay they don't get paid.

maninthestreet

Why did the police arrive at 3AM???