Went to a deaf club - was not welcomed.

Widelats

I went to the club as i'm learning level 2 BSL, i was not welcome, was sat alone and nobody spoke to me, they kept in their own group. When i tried to talk to them they looked away.

Not sure if that is a usual thing for deaf people, to exclude hearing people from their own social group, i had hoped to learn from them some signing tips.

I will try again when the younger crowd is there next week, the people that excluded me are all in their 50's and over, next i'm trying over 30's.

Any experience yourself of these deaf clubs?

martinthebandit

are you really that thick skinned that you are surprised you were ignored? :cool:

Widelats

martinthebandit wrote: »

are you really that thick skinned that you are surprised you were ignored? :cool:

You make no sense there.

Safetyone

I have been deaf for the last 24 year and only once went to a deaf club .........never again closed shop is best way to describe it ...

Richie-from-the-Boro

Widelats wrote: »

I went to the club as i'm learning level 2 BSL, i was not welcome, was sat alone and nobody spoke to me, they kept in their own group. When i tried to talk to them they looked away.

Not sure if that is a usual thing for deaf people, to exclude hearing people from their own social group, i had hoped to learn from them some signing tips.

I will try again when the younger crowd is there next week, the people that excluded me are all in their 50's and over, next i'm trying over 30's.

Any experience yourself of these deaf clubs?

If you had approached someone to facilitate your inclusion right from the very get~go you might have done better my friend :

- if the group were requested, not told, and preferably in advance / the previous session, you were a hearing person
- and you would like some help with your BSL course and their input into coping with a range of topics

You might ' break the ice ' and be made welcome. If you go this route and are embraced, make sure you get your frequency right, do ask how often in order not to break up their social group. Remember its no different to a ' workies ' club, all clubs are cliques and megga territorial.

GlasweJen

You might be better visiting a class for people who are deaf, not Deaf. Some deaf people choose to learn BSL and would probably be more welcoming to someone with perfect hearing pitching up. Learning BSL 2 is probably not fluent enough to converse with Deaf people and it's not as if they can speak slowly for you to get their meaning.

Our lip reading group is a lot more friendly than the group for totals at my deaf support centre, some of the women use BSL and we all finger spell as part of lip reading (long story, pop along to lip reading class to find out, oh and tell the organiser before you appear!).

chewynut

I tried to join a deaf club when I was younger. I'm partially deaf (I have 27% in one ear, my other is completely useless. I'm lucky that the 27% covers the human speech range.)

Anyway. I tried to join a deaf club when I was a young teenager. I had the most hearing there and they didn't want to know, not even the adults who were overseeing the club. I'd never felt so left out in all my life!

Savvy_Sue

The way I've heard it explained is that it's like someone learning French (and not yet knowing much) turning up to a club for French ex-pats. I'm not saying it's right, or friendly, but for some Deaf people that's their social time where they can relax without having to interact with the hearing world, IYSWIM.

I second the suggestion of lipreading classes ...

mitch161

savvi sue is correct
definetly think of it as yourself being in a pub with your friends and a non english speaking person walks in . sits beside you or your friends and interupts your fun relaxed conversation and says

"i learn english please"

we all know how you would like to admit how you would respond, but in actual events, how would you truly respond.

most common responses are:
"!!!!!! who are you"
"sorry we are having a private conversation here"


it is also worth mentioning that its not to do with the deafness that made you left out. it could/is more to do with the fact that your a stranger.

again if you were talking about your private relationship stuff to a friend and a stranger came across, sat next to you and wanted to "listen" in on your conversation how would you feel.

people with deafness who go to a pub truly trust and know each other very well. this is because with sign language there is no way of whispering (lipreading is there way of whispering private information) but my point is that people several tables away can easily read other peoples conversations. so they all become involved in each others lives, whether on same table or other side of room.

so yes it is very much so a tight nit community based on trust and understanding.

they dont want to sit in small little curtain drawn cubby holes to have private conversations, they TRUST that others wont "listen" in.

a pub/club is a bad idea. id suggest a BSL school/classes or friends with deafness.

deaf people are very open and trusting with each other as there is no way to whisper a sign without hiding behind a curtain. so dont be surprised to learn that they really do speak their mind to their friends about others. AS EVERYONE DOES but for hearing people they do it as whispers behind peoples backs. which deaf people dont have the luxury of.

so dont take offense to anything said. its just life, full on in your face, not hidden behind whispers

Widelats

OK mitch i am taking classes, HOWEVER, its the class tutor themselves who are telling us to go to the deaf club to learn more, regional variations of sign, etc, i think i was with the older crowd and maybe set in their ways, i will try the younger crowd more my age and see what goes on, if i get blanked again i won't go back, my tutor is deaf 100% she recommended the club to everyone.

GlasweJen

I'd say your tutor was being a bit naive to be honest, I'd not turn up at a Deaf group and I have hearing loss. Like someone mentioned above it's like trotting up to a foreign group in a pub and trying out your rosetta stone course on them, it's rude to say the least.

Perhaps you'd be better asking the organiser if there are any Deaf people who would meet with you to practice signing with you. Or ask if you can help out at an event/group for Deaf people where they need helpers who can hear.