urgent hep for mum re will

paddy's_mum

And who is going to nominate "the charity" to which it is suggested the money be given - the management and/or employers?

I really don't like the sound of that on the basis that if the old lady had wanted to give money to a charity, she would have done so. This suggestion smacks of back door somehow ...

Susan_Frost

Firstly, your mum is not in the wrong for having received a bequest. She has no control over what someone puts in their will and the executors will do their duty and give money as per instructed. So she is not at fault, as such, so should not be in any trouble. She has declared what has happened.

However, I feel if she is not allowed to keep it due to her work regulations (check with solicitor 1/2 hr freebie) then it should be returned to the "estate" of the person who has died.

paddy's_mum

Susan_Frost wrote: »

She has no control over what someone puts in their will

However, I feel if she is not allowed to keep it due to her work regulations,....then it should be returned to the "estate" of the person who has died.

Spot on, Susan Frost - and you have just put into words what I felt but couldn't bring to the forefront of my mind. Thanks.

Torry_Quine

Susan_Frost wrote: »

Firstly, your mum is not in the wrong for having received a bequest. She has no control over what someone puts in their will and the executors will do their duty and give money as per instructed. So she is not at fault, as such, so should not be in any trouble. She has declared what has happened.

However, I feel if she is not allowed to keep it due to her work regulations (check with solicitor 1/2 hr freebie) then it should be returned to the "estate" of the person who has died.

I also agree with this. I would be very surprised if she was able to keep the money but that doesn't mean the care provider should automatically get it either.

mountainofdebt

Did the deceased have family and what do they think of the situation? Perhaps they could help the OP's mum by telling her employers that it is what the deceased wanted.

Kaz2904

A patient who was on the ward I work on was in hospital regularly for the last years of his life. He changed his will to leave his estate to the staff who looked after him whilst he was in hospital. Apparently the admin team then went through the gentlemans care guides and every single person who had written in his notes was given a few hundred pounds.
That's a bit fairer than the lady whom I had in who knew we weren't allowed to accept cash gifts so got her daughter to get £200 of restaurant vouchers to be split between the staff who cared for her. She was in over a 4 day weekend and I looked after her for 4 nights. Our manager decided that she would split the vouchers between all of the staff even if they weren't working rather than dividing it up between the staff who cared for her. We ended up with £5 each rather than the intended £20 gift. It's great when someone tries to do something nice to show their thanks but really, they shouldn't bother because whatever it is, they'll be thwarted by beurocracy.

Torry_Quine

Kaz2904 wrote: »

A patient who was on the ward I work on was in hospital regularly for the last years of his life. He changed his will to leave his estate to the staff who looked after him whilst he was in hospital. Apparently the admin team then went through the gentlemans care guides and every single person who had written in his notes was given a few hundred pounds.
That's a bit fairer than the lady whom I had in who knew we weren't allowed to accept cash gifts so got her daughter to get £200 of restaurant vouchers to be split between the staff who cared for her. She was in over a 4 day weekend and I looked after her for 4 nights. Our manager decided that she would split the vouchers between all of the staff even if they weren't working rather than dividing it up between the staff who cared for her. We ended up with £5 each rather than the intended £20 gift. It's great when someone tries to do something nice to show their thanks but really, they shouldn't bother because whatever it is, they'll be thwarted by beurocracy.

Actually though I think that was fairer. It seems patently unfair that only the staff who look after richer patients get financial rewards when all staff work in that same place. That is the reason staff are normally not allowed to accept gifts.

meritaten

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Actually though I think that was fairer. It seems patently unfair that only the staff who look after richer patients get financial rewards when all staff work in that same place. That is the reason staff are normally not allowed to accept gifts.

But not ALL staff work with that patient do they? and not ALL staff are dedicated caring people?
a PERSON who has had exceptional care wants to reward her caregivers - but not necesarily everyone who works there!

Torry_Quine

meritaten wrote: »

But not ALL staff work with that patient do they? and not ALL staff are dedicated caring people?
a PERSON who has had exceptional care wants to reward her caregivers - but not necesarily everyone who works there!

That shows just what a mine-field this is and why it can be much better to have a blanket ban on gifts of this nature. It is pure fluke who is working when any particular patient is there so should they be rewarded when other staff who may be equally dedicated weren't on duty?

jewelly

In my view, anyone receiving care is deemed to be vulnerable. Otherwise, they would not need any care or have care needs to be met. The relationship between a care-giver and the receiver of that care is one that tends to give the receiver a feeling of gratitude towards the care-giver. An unbalanced relationship. This can lead to gifts being offered, and is wholly inappropriate as the care-giver is just doing the job they have chosen to do. The reward in care work is going home knowing you have helped someone and put a smile on their face.

Doctors and surgeons give a fantastic service to patients, but they would never be allowed to accept monetary gifts or gain from the estate of those patients. It would just be unethical, surely? I don't see why it should be any different for care workers. I say this having worked caring for the elderly myself. Maybe I am wrong.

The OP wants her Mum to have some 'luck'. But this is not luck as I see it, it is good fortune coming from a person who was in a vulnerable position. She would never have met this lady at all if she hadn't been introduced to and carrying out her duties via her employer. It was a professional relationship and should be treated as such.