Proposal advice from any females?

Anu

Me and Mark got engaged in October and although it may not seem romantic to other people he proposed to me in the most romantic place he could have. He proposed to me at Slinky in Bournemouth(Big club) because he tooks me there a few months after we got together and I always said there was a point and a place in the club that night where i fell in love with him....and he took me there and proposed....perfect, don't necessarily be ruled by convention, you don't have to be "classically" romantic, romance is dictated by what means something to the both of you, if there's a place where you felt really "together" and totally in love then take her there, it'll mean so much more to you both...

Oh and good luck! I'm sure it'll be perfect whatever you decide to do!

straddie

Does the place you're going on holiday to have any kind of significance to the two of you? When I decided to propose to my girlfriend, I knew it absolutely had to be whilst we were in Australia, a place which means so much to both of us. I really wanted it to be somewhere really special to both of us, even if it meant it'd be more predictable - and I am so, so glad I did it that way as it was everything I'd hoped for and more.

Having said that about it being more predictable, it ended up coming as a total surprise to her, even though half her family were expecting it - so you may be surprised to find that it wouldn't be as predictable to her as you think!

How about arranging some really romantic evening whilst you're on holiday... and then not proposing! If she's expecting it to happen whilst you're away then she'll probably assume that's going to be the moment, and then when you don't propose she'll figure as that was as good a moment as any, it obviously can't be happening this time... and then you can catch her off guard the next day

End of the day, nobody knows as much about her and your relationship as you do, so only you can be the judge of what would work best for the two of you - so whatever suggestions people make, you've just got to go with your gut feeling! Let us know how it goes!

[Deleted User]

I've got this to ponder over the coming months. Me and my gf have just bought our first place and moved in this week. I'd like to make an honest woman of her, but the timing is going to be tough. I'd like it to be special and be rather memorable. My current thinking is a weekend break to Amsterdam, sometime in April/May where i'd propose and then let her pick the ring (there's a big diamond trade there). My only problem is that last time we went away to Prague, EVERYONE expected us to get engaged - we just wanted a short break. So, this may have to be a bit of a surprise trip and rather tricky to organise.

Is asking her father old fashioned? I can't imagine not asking

Lillibet_2

straddie wrote:

How about arranging some really romantic evening whilst you're on holiday... and then not proposing! If she's expecting it to happen whilst you're away then she'll probably assume that's going to be the moment, and then when you don't propose she'll figure as that was as good a moment as any, it obviously can't be happening this time... and then you can catch her off guard the next day

Oh please pelase don't do this, & to any guys considering it .... IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!! Poor GF will feel so hopeful & expetant & totally dissapointed & let down & humilated when it doesn't happen, when it eventually does it'll be such an anti climax for her! It should be a special momentwhether planned or not, playing with someones feelings is never special.

NYE sounds fab to me, something like "will you start the new year as my fiance?" would be lovely IMHO. (But what do I know? I was never proposed to, we just "agreed" to get married whilst we were in bed one day!:o)

emmaBZ

when OH proposed to me ...we were out for a romantic meal... chatting ect when the waiter came over with the wine... as i tasted the wine i noticed there was something sparkly in the bottom of the glass....WOW really surprised and soooo romantic

Alikay

Why bother waiting for months when you already know you want to be together forever? Can't you just create your own romantic atmosphere with a walk, a meal, listening to particular music or whatever and ask her then?
I'd have hated to be made to wait for something deemed "Romantic" and then be proposed to and expected to jump at the chance! If my husband hadn't asked me to marry him after a certain length of time, I'd have assumed that he had problems with committment or simply didn't love me enough and may even have started to cool towards him.
Getting engaged is a public and private committment to each other and a statement of your deep enduring love for one another, not just an occasion to go over the top with romantic demonstrations!
We got engaged in a very low-key way: he just asked me quietly when we were alone and I was very moved and delighted.
I'd just say avoid asking whilst in bed or drunk: not classy, and embarrassing when your kids ask in years to come!

Kaminari_2

My other half has never asked me. He just tells me "When we are married...." and talks about what we are going to do on our wedding day and asks where we should have it. I think he just assumes that i will say yes when the day arrive (if ever). I'm not bothered by it all really, i know i will be spending the rest of my life with him so if we ever get married doesn't really bother me.

art200380

Thanks for all the advice - I'm actually going to the Jewellery Quarter in Birmingham tomorrow to pick up the ring - which I ordered a couple of weeks ago!

We're actually going to Barbados for 2 weeks on 17 January and its a special place - we went last June.

I'm certainly not - and I don't think she is - into the whole proposing in front of 300 people on a BMI flight or anything like that! I think I'm swinging towards either NY eve/day or possibly on holiday at sunset.

Thanks for all the help and advice though.

P.S. I am planning on asking for her parents blessing when we visit them over New Year's. Not that I feel that I have to - but think its a nice gesture out of respect for them and they are old fashioned Catholics!!

leftieM

I have to agree with Lillibet earlier - stringing it out is cruel! i lived with a girl who was expecting her boyfriend to propose for months. She was so fed up - every time they went out she thought he'd ask but he didn't. It put a strain on the relationship. He was waiting for her mood to lift before he asked (unaware that he was adding to the mood!). He did ask eventually but I think it was too much of a build up - she was just relieved in the end.
I don't think it matters where you are but how you feel - sometimes when you're in love there are moments when you feel so close to the other person that it just seems like the most natural thing in the world to decide to commit to eachother. But then I have no patience - I would just want the guy to get on with it (which was why I asked Mr leftie to marry me first in a busy pub - not romantic at all. Oh well, we're 8 years down the line and very happy!)

skylight

Is her best friend entirely trustworthy??

Is it worth getting her involved and asking for her opinion? Afterall, what may be your idea of a romantic event/location may not be hers, and I can guarantee that if she feels the same way about you then this matter will have been discussed with her best friend on numerous occasions!

But, its only worth mentioning to the best mate if you can completely and 110% trust her to keep quiet.