Frugal Living Challenge 2011 - Part 3.

lola34

Well I've just logged into my Next vip sale slot, put a few things in the basket and then closed it down, I don't really need anything so its not a bargain is it????? I bought a couple of bits the other day in the RI sale but they are going back, I do worry though I'm verging the other way and hate paying out for things I think I feel guilty sometimes though both me and OH work. But sometimes it the same stuff in the shop from one season to the next.

paidinchickens

alec_eiffel wrote: »

It was just when we first started paying off our debts (credit cards, student loans, career development loan, overdrafts etc). And I was at home doing all the slashing and burning of expenditure and DH was going out to work bringing the cash in. I do have to say we were both on board but I didn't realise that DH wasn't coping as well with the change as me. The day we were dropping our car of at MIL's because we were taking it off the road to save money I found an empty scotch egg packet under the passenger seat...

I was soooooooo upset that DH had gone out and bought them because he was feeling deprived. He also felt really guilty and apologised for ages! But it was a turning point because it made me realise that it was easier for me to give up all the stuff because I was at home all day whereas he was out in the world saying no to coffee, work nights out, going to the chippy on a Friday with the rest of his team and things like that. He reached breaking point and the closest thing was a scotch egg! :rotfl:

So it was worth it for us to ease up a little and have some pocket money each month. It was just a little release valve to stop us having a huge blow out when the scrimping became too much.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

We had the pork pie saga here (nothing really to do with us)

Two of my best friends in the world ever come to stay with us a few times a year. They came over this time last year with really glum faces and proceeded to tell me they were up to their necks in debt from a failed buisness venture........going to shorten the story a tad. I went through all their bills (you know the drill) wrote out everything they could sort when they went home and the savings it would make them. Told them to roll their own instead of smoking "normal cigs" etc. This way I worked out that if they lived on BASICS they could be sorted in two years time and that it would be hard but better than losing their other business and their house.

We had given them some free tickets to an event and offered to do them a packed lunch for them to take with them.

At this point I will tell you they are a male, gay married couple. One of which is definitely the "girl" and very camp :rotfl: (I say this to his face and he calls himself a queen) the other is very straight laced and old fashioned :rotfl:

Any way camp gay friend was asked by his partner to nip to the shop and buy some bread and ham only.....After the money saving talk BASICS stuck and he understood what needed to be done. He thought taking our food was charity......silly people. Anyway CGF came back with a bag of food. Bread, ham, choc. fruit, pop, and porkpie etc and spent £17..........well his partner went mad.........."what kind of saving is this?" etc etc and in his frustration he jumped up and down on the poor pork pie :rotfl::rotfl:

I rang him last week to say it was the anniversary of the death of the pork pie but he did laugh:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

The problem is that sometimes you can talk until you are blue in the face about how to sort the mess out but some peoples ideas of BASICS are different to others. They still argue all the time about who spends too much money and usually ring DH or me to ask what we do and who we think is right. The problem is they cut back for three weeks, feel deprived and then blow out for a week. But they have gone onto roll their own and sorted all their bills so they are half way there.

DH and I have taken four years to cut back to where we are now. The other night we went shopping, got back and I went to put the milk in the fridge. I asked DH "why have we bought green top milk?" (we have been buying blue and watering it down) he was soooo cross with himself :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sometimes you just have to cut yourself some slack!!!

seriouslyfrugal

:wave:Welcome to Sprozza & Lola34 :wave:

alec_eiffel

That's what I mean about talking about feelings as well as bills. There are certain things that make me feel as though we're scraping under the barrel that just don't bother DH and things that bother him that don't bother me at all. So as a consequence we don't add carrots to meals, re-use food bags or foil, say the words "we can't afford it" or share socks. Agreeing to not do these small daft things just seemed to open us both up to agree to the other things. We occasionally have to have an emergency budget meeting but we never argue about who spends the most - once it's down on the spreadsheet the budget is the boss! (We use a lot of the Dave Ramsey stuff so the written budget is king!).

I agree that people can see basics as being different things but that's why talking is so important to us - we might not agree about everything but we can agree on a level we're both happy with. It's just a slight difference that helped to to make huge strides - we still paid our debts off more than a year earlier than we thought. Imo it's a constant chipping away of what's a "want" and what's a "need" - when we first started there were so many things we'd never do or we'd never give up. Now they're distant memories and things we'd never dream of spending money on. We found that doing too much too soon was counterproductive, it's all about growing into the new lifestyle and taking it bit by bit.

cw18

I honestly think that one thing I really like about being single is that any blow-out is all of my own doing, and that there's no-one else to blame. Also means that if I decide to keep the heating turned off/down (or not flush the loo after absolutely every visit) there's no-one walking around behind me undoing all the small savings

Actually makes me very nervous of being in a relationship, but the one thing I can say about the chap I'm seeing now is that he's no better off than me - so it's not like I feel I have to keep up with him which is a great comfort (The failure of his pay to arrive in the bank this morning has meant he's had to take the day off as he can't afford to put enough fuel in to get there and back today, whereas if I relied on using a vehicle to get to work I'd always make sure I had enough in the tank to give me a few days grace - or an emergency kitty to cover at least a half tank of fuel!)

paidinchickens

I have never thought about sharing socks :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

DH are far too big for me but DS nicks mine all the time. I had to laugh the other day when he took his school shoes off and there on his feet were my black socks with love hearts on the bottom of the sole :rotfl: thankfully he did not have PE that day :rotfl:

I do find the boys harder to convince than DH. Especially DS who is nearly 15 and has occasional outbursts of kevin and perry moments :rotfl: I think they are slowly coming round. It is difficult as the estate we live on is quite a nice area and as such the people living here are on a good wage. 15 year old kids always brag about what they have and look down their noses at those who do not. I could go on for ever regarding the snobbery here. One particular child thought we were far too poor and said it was such a shame DS did not have more money :eek: One day we were getting the boys in the car to go and fetch the rent money (from my house that I have rented out when meeting DH) The boy in question asked DS where he was going and DS explained. When we got back the boy asked DS why he had not told him he was rich :rotfl::rotfl:

As you rightly said it is the slowly chipping away that does it. At the moment we are slowly chipping away at the kids. The torture they are getting so far is

only having one take away a month :rotfl: when we went to a car boot the other week they were given £2 each and told that there would be no more money so they had best make sure they really wanted what they bought. All three trawled round, picking things up and putting them back until when we finished all three had not bought anything and decided they would rather keep the money :rotfl: usually they would be asking for everything their eyes gazed upon.

When we go on holiday they all have a set amount of their own money on the condition they do not ask for anything when it has gone. We sit with monopoly money and explain bills and what they are for/cost. We only go to the cinema once or twice a year so they have to really decide what they want to see. Birthdays they have a set amount of cash for what they would like but if they want a party the money comes out of this amount so they all decide they would rather have a family tea party as it does not come out of their birthday budget.

I went to a jumble yesterday and bought them each a book and an item of clothes each......I waited for the outrage of second hand clothes but DS just said "but I really need some new trackies mum not more jeans" so to me this was progress. I only ever have second hand clothes apart from undies. I have a lot of events to attend so usually buy a frock then bang it on Ebay when I am done and get a lot more than I pay for it. Maybe it is slowly sinking in that the more you cut back the more you have to spend on the things you really want. Now they are older they compare their other parents spending habits and usually come back saying it is their own fault they have no money as they could cut back on this that and the other :rotfl::rotfl:

alec_eiffel

Isn't the point of teenagers to whinge though *remembers back*. It does sound like you're doing a grand job teaching them though - if they learn the lesson to never sacrifice what they want most for what they want now then they'll have learned the best lesson in the world!

We did used to share socks. We just bought loads of pairs of black socks so there was no sorting or matching and if one got a hole we could just repurpose it and there was no odd sock knocking about! But I got sick of that and wanted some striped socks so we got them and I was made up!

paidinchickens

Update on kittens :T

paidinchickens

3-5 weeks to decide which we are keeping.

dyson, Dinks, Dozer and moo lol we love them all

redglass_2

paidinchickens wrote: »

I have found the quality of things in skips has gone right down hill of late, people are putting some right old rubbish in them :rotfl::rotfl:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

tumptyteapot wrote: »

Just been caught loading wood into my car and asked to put it back - no problem but when I walked past the place this morning I asked the builders working on the building next to the cut down tree if they knew anything about it, or if anyone wanted it and they said no, so I thought it was ok to take it.
Bloke was quite snarky, he said they will probably distribute it to their staff which probably means it will just get stolen by someone else overnight, if you go leaving wood burner sized chunks of wood around they don't stay around for long. I just wish I had told him that he needs to remind his staff that it's illegal to burn it cos we are in a smokeless zone :-)

Bad luck, Tumpty! Mostly people are fine but you do get the odd awkward one. Had a little run in with a snarky boy today, who nearly drove his car into mine at a junction (my right of way, but he tried to barge onto the main road without looking). He then leaned on the horn and loaded me with abuse for being there. At first I was taken by surprise, couldn't understand what the problem was, so I slowed down slightly and looked at him, trying to find out, upon which he went ballistic because it meant I was In His Way For A Couple More Seconds. :eek: When I understood, I felt like getting out of the car, pulling off his stupid headphones and telling him to pay attention instead of barging, beeping, and cursing....but I drove on, probably wise as I'm a middle-aged woman and I fear he would have come off best. :rotfl: He got onto the road and swerved past me with a great squeal of hot rubber. Idiot. Sorry for offloading folks, but it exasperated me (and I have no OH to bore with this stuff) . I live on the junction, see a lot of crazy behaviour and sometimes have to help accident victims, but no matter how many accidents we have, people still race over it and nobody seems to learn....

Alas, I've lost a necklace. Very unfrugal! I had to travel on business yesterday and packed my outfit for a meeting today but when I began to get ready the necklace was nowhere to be found. I was hoping it had been left at home, but no, it's just disappeared into the ether. I was fond of it and nothing else goes so well with that outfit. OK, whine over...:D