in dire straits

KiKi

That's good that you've heard from him.

Have you posted on the Debt-Free Wannabe board? There are experts there who will be able to advise you on the best way to deal with this.

KiKi

cheermeup

yea thanks, I have just done that, welcome the support

Lara44

Hi OP

Sorry to hear of your relationship troubles. The DFW board is the best place - post up a statement of affairs there. But I wanted to say have you thought of getting a lodger? If you're having trouble finding the money for the mortgage it might be a short term way to ensure this is paid. You can earn up to a certain amount without paying tax on it under the rent a room scheme.

Hobo17

cheermeup wrote: »

Hi thanks, for the reply, the mortgage and secured loan in joint names, which was manageable with 2 salaries, but quite a few unsecured loans in his name.

Are you still paying the unsecured loans in his name? if so, stop the direct debits. These are not your responsibility (although you may have to notify the companies that he has gone AWOL and stress that you don't have any idea where he is and are not responsible for his debts). Take advice from the CAB on the mortgage and unsecured loan before stopping any payments to those though.

clearingout

if you are not interest only, speak with the mortgage company about going interest only for the time being - you will need to make it clear that you are unable to speak with your ex as he is awol. You might need to report it to the police and get an incident number to back you up, however, as generally mortgage companies want both signatures to make adjustments to the account.

Do you have a direct dial number for him at work? Is he in the type of industry where you could pose as a client and ask to be put through to him? If it's a large company, a word with the HR department to simply ask if he's been in the work for the last 4 weeks, explaining you are worried and are about to contact the police might help but they may well refuse to help you in which case, your best bet is to go to the police. The police will at least tell you he's OK but doesn't want to be found if they can find him!