in dire straits

cheermeup

Can anyone out there give me some advice. My partner of 11 years is having a mid life crisis! At end of May I knew there was something wrong, and decided to ask him, he said he was fine, but you don't live with someone for this long and know that he was lying,so I played detective and uncovered masses of debt and then confronted him. He left and have not seen him since. Not contactable by phone (mobile been disconnected) and don't know where he is living. Where do I go from here? Should I contact his work? He has also had his salary stopped from going into the bank. Don't know which way to turn I can't cover all outgoings on my income alone. Will I be able to get free legal advice? Been to CAB today and they gave me a budget sheet to complete and said they would be in touch with an appt in about 4 weeks as they are really busy HELP I can't wait another 4 weeks, this is driving me insane. Any suggestions please

BitterAndTwisted

Are any of these debts in your own name, joint names or only his?

babymoo

Ok well firstly calm down and breathe. Are all the debts in his sole name or yours or joint?

Secondly click onto this benefits calculator fill in your details see if you can get any help.

Are there any outgoings that aren't neccesary that you can cancel for the time being? Sky etc?

Has anyone else heard from him, friends, family? Chances are if you contact his work they won't be able to tell you anything anyway under the data protection act.

de1amo

i am guessing the accounts are shared. i never do joint accounts!

savingmummy

What debts are these?
If ALL are in his name your fine.
Have you tried contacting his family/friends to see where he is? Did he seem depressed or acting very unlike himself?
As he has been missing for so long i would be inclined to call his work and see if his there. If he is not i`d report him missing!

KiKi

I mean this kindly, but I am a little bit surprised that your main concern is the debt rather than whether or not your partner of 11 years is okay.

You imply that no-one knows where he is, nor if he's alright. Whilst I understand your concern about the money, I'd be far more concerned about his well-being after four weeks.

You may be better off posting on the Debt-Free Wannabe board where there are experts who can help you deal with all the financial aspects.

All the best.
KiKi

go_cat

Is the house rented / mortgaged?

SOrt out any debts in joint names you are jointly liable

Also urgently do a credit check in case he has taken any debts out in your name - you can do these free over the internet

kjmtidea

KiKi wrote: »

I mean this kindly, but I am a little bit surprised that your main concern is the debt rather than whether or not your partner of 11 years is okay.

You imply that no-one knows where he is, nor if he's alright. Whilst I understand your concern about the money, I'd be far more concerned about his well-being after four weeks.

You may be better off posting on the Debt-Free Wannabe board where there are experts who can help you deal with all the financial aspects.

All the best.
KiKi

I'm glad that you said that, I thought it was just me thinking that for a minute! If my partner, who I have also been with for 11 years, disappeared off the face of the earth then I would be absolutely distraught!

Sambucus_Nigra

Perhaps she was for 4 weeks then the reality of being left in the sh1te to pay the bills alone kicked in...

cheermeup

Sorry I didn't mean to mislead you, he did leave me 4 weeks ago, he did send me a text a few days later as he had no money, and I felt sorry for him so I obliged as usual and gave him £200. Since he has been paid I have not heard a thing.

cheermeup

Hi thanks, for the reply, the mortgage and secured loan in joint names, which was manageable with 2 salaries, but quite a few unsecured loans in his name.