Why is money in my relationship such a 'downer'!

de1amo

my wife has a daughter and she gets some support from her ex but its erratic and gets spent mostly on hairdos!

Our business got off to a slow start and was underfunded from the outset because i refused to 'out do' our partner who is a spendthrift with a worthless husband.--it is profitable and has tripple in value but i am not the bank!--the partner has a crap credit rating that prevents the business getting any loans--last year my wife took a personal loan to keep it going because she has a great credit rating!--i wont step in because basically i am not a legal owner and my money set the company up--i just get paid for my work!

difficult to discuss things with people because i dnt speak the local lingo. when they get my wrathe they scurry off and start nattering in turkish

dark_lady

de1amo wrote: »

my wife has a daughter and she gets some support from her ex but its erratic and gets spent mostly on hairdos!

Our business got off to a slow start and was underfunded from the outset because i refused to 'out do' our partner who is a spendthrift with a worthless husband.--it is profitable and has tripple in value but i am not the bank!--the partner has a crap credit rating that prevents the business getting any loans--last year my wife took a personal loan to keep it going because she has a great credit rating!--i wont step in because basically i am not a legal owner and my money set the company up--i just get paid for my work!

difficult to discuss things with people because i dnt speak the local lingo. when they get my wrathe they scurry off and start nattering in turkish

Re hairdos. Why is it a lot of men expect women to look good but then moan when they find out that looking good costs money. How many times do we hear of men saying "oh the wife let herself go" or never makes an effort with her appearance and then when they do a lot of men moan about the cost.
Your wife has also taken out a personal loan (i assume in her own name) to help the business so shes not exactly being selfish is she!
Incidentally i did have a trawl through some of your previous posts by clicking on your username and yes you do seem to be obsessed with money.

coolcait

I'm not seeing a lot of respect for your 'wife' or her predecessor in your posts... Or your female business partner (and her husband).

So much so, that I was surprised to see another poster asking you in what way you were being controlled. I had read it as you being the controlling person in the relationships.

You say that you don't speak the lingo. Is your wife Turkish, and communicating with you in her second language all the time? If so, that's a significant contribution to the relationship.

If you 'don't speak the lingo', how do you carry out your business? In English? Or do you have an interpreter/translator? If your wife fills that role, then she's saving you/the business a significant amount of money. That's quite a contribution to the business.

From what you have said, you have chosen to live in another country, without learning the language. Your wife acts as your interpreter/translator. Have you tried paying her the going rate for that job, and then see how that affects the balance of your respective 'earnings'?

You also say that you have a joint business with your wife, which was underfunded from the outset. It is not clear how much you put into the business. On the one hand you say that 'your money set it up'. On the other hand you say that you knowingly allowed it to be underfunded from the outset, because you "refused to 'out do' your business partner" - about whom you are so disrespectful.

Your wife has taken out a personal loan to keep the company going, so presumably she is paying it back from her own wages.

You meanwhile feel hard done by because, having paid part of the monies needed to start and maintain the company - at a level which is not greater than the funds put in by the other partner (how does your funding compare to the amounts put in by your wife?) - you are drawing a wage for the work that you do, and benefitting from free translations services, yet your wife sometimes needs extra finacial support from you.

On top of paying back the loan she took out to keep your joint company going, and providing you with free transltion services, other work to keep the company going, and ...

Sorry, I think I've lost track. What was your problem again?

dark_lady

Thanks Coolcait. You explained it better than i did.

rachbc

I think the problem with control is that he can't control the little woman/men in his life...

Sambucus_Nigra

rachbc wrote: »

I think the problem with control is that he can't control the little woman/men in his life...

Absolutely.

Still, at least his wife has good hair. Which is nice.

dark_lady

Ive got a feeling the OP might choose to put those of us that have pointed out a few things he might not like, on ignore.

Edinburghlass_2

de1amo wrote: »

my wife has a daughter and she gets some support from her ex but its erratic and gets spent mostly on hairdos!

and your money is being spent right now on a hair transplant for yourself, you couldn't make it up :rotfl::rotfl:

Molly41

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Absolutely.

Still, at least his wife has good hair. Which is nice.

The OP will have nice hair too as he has just had a hair transplant!

ETA great minds and crossed posts x

Pink.

I think that you should take a closer look at yourself OP. You often post on MSE that you spend very little money while your wife and step-daugther apparently bleed you dry.

Apart from the aforementioned hair transplant you do seem to waste spend a decent amount on alcohol as you post quite frequently to say that you are drunk. As for blame.... you do seem to like to blame others just as you did here when your long suffering wife 'let' you drink and drive.

Perhaps you should have a think about your own actions and the effect on your family before blaming them for your problems.