help needed

delhome

Hi folks, my daughter is 11yrs old and started high school this year. For christmas my partner and I bought her a computer. We gave her the computer early as it was useful for school but she was told not to go on chat sites etc for obvious reasons. Give her her due, touch wood she has steered clear of them,bar msn she chats to her mates. What I found out she has done maybe only the once is WORSE. After she went to bed last night I went on her computer to search for some crimbo prezzies and to my horror when I typed in various words on the search engine other words came up. Words that I cant post here but are basically men's bits etc. You can imagine my surpise when I typed in dixons!!!!
I have tried speaking to my daughter this morning about this but she denied it and flew out of the house in a rage. I have called parentline today but they where not that helpful. I was just wondering if any of u kind ppl have any ideas on what to do next

Madasafish_Customer_Care

Hi Delhome,

It sounds like you need to do a Google search on the phrase: parental controls software

There are a lot of solutions out there which may be of use to you.

Kind regards,
Samara

elona

Could there be a virus on the computer or a "trojan" that dials websites that have nothing to do with what you are looking for.?

fsdss

your daughter is at a delicate age of the start of puberty / sexual maturity and its only natural for her to be inquisitive, my own thoughts would be that she's put in all "swear / rude words" that she can think of in google for bit of entertainment however the implications of this action would have bought up more worrying websites.
i would look for something more like a net nanny programme that you can download on the computer.

i would also explain that you have been let down by her and you feel disappointed over her use of the computer, however you are willing to compromise with her and let her keep the computer in her room on the understanding that you will check the computers history, until you are satisfied that she is no longer abusing your trust.

delhome

great i will have a look. My daughter does not have the comp in her room. its in our lounge. My partner and i usually check on her or sit in the room with her, unfortunately last night we didnt as we where writing crimbo lists etc. As for a virus I know it isnt as she even wrote the rude words in welsh!!

My daughter has just come home and ive tried speaking to her again. Now shes blaming me and said that i have been doing it not her. She has now stomped off upstairs!

Thanks for all the help. I shall try and talk to her again when shes calmed down

suzysue_2

Hiya,
My advice is pretty much the same as fsdss. I think she simply put all the rude words she could think of, I think everyone has done this at some point, child or adult.
Please don't worry too much, I'm sure she is mortified about what she has done and that will probably stop her from repeating this sorce of entertainment.

I told my lads that I would go in their rooms and check the computer history from time to time, it did stop them from doing anything (too) dodgy and I didn't feel like I was spying on them.

djdido2

any kid will have a go at this out curiosity and for the humour. sort the parental control then she cant do it. dont be too hard on her she is young and inquisitive as the op said.

when she is calm have words and tell her its wrong!!

suzysue_2

delhome wrote:

As for a virus I know it isnt as she even wrote the rude words in welsh!!

:rotfl:
Sorry but that's funny!

pboae

Pick up any school dictionary and you'll find every page with a 'rude' word is well used. Kids are curious, especially at that age. SHe will now be dreadfully embarrased that she's been caught.

The problem with looking them up on the internet is that they are likely to get a *lot* more than they bargain for. You need to explain that to her for her own safety, and give her a safe way to get the answers she's after.

You've got a great opportunity to broach the subject with her, without going in to who wrote what or why. If it turns into a row over who is to blame, you can be sure she won't turn to you with more serious questions later on.

At that age she'll want to know what certain words (including swear words) actually mean. Having seen the search history you'll have a pretty good idea of what she is worrying about, so you'll know where to start.

Good luck!

hobo28

I wouldn't worry too much about it. We all found out about the rude words one way or another. The only difference here is that you found out. Before I was 11, I was looking at dodgy mags a friend had stolen off someone else!

Let the matter drop, raking it up will only further embarrass her and serve no useful purpose.

As others have said, install some parent control software. I recommend ZoneAlarm security suite which is what I use. Its a firewall, antivirus, parent control all in one. Its a bit overzealous sometimes and once even blocked google as a chat site but its a small price to pay really for peace of mind.

bikerqueen

We looked up rude words in the dictionary back in the low tech days.

After installing net nanny, the best thing you can do is embarrass the hell out of her by insisting on sitting down with a book on puberty, sex and all other such subjects so you can have a nice clear the air chat. if you can keep a straight face, all the better