should I send my DD on expensive school trip?

Lunar_Eclipse

banson wrote: »

The issues I just wanted to run past everyone were:

1) is it normal for schools to send kids on residentials in yr5 AND yr6
2) did you feel it would affect her if she DIDNT go

Yes to both questions, although you can handle her not going in a way that doesn't affect her negatively. It will affect her whether she goes or not. As a parent, I have no problems saying 'no' to things, but personally I agree with communicating reasons and ideally discussing it before a decision is made, basically a broadly similar process to how you would handle your partner asking to go on a boys weekend away (whilst allowing for her age and the fact that this is a parent-child situation as opposed to an adult-adult one.)

Personally, I think your feelings about this are wrapped up in what you think about the school as a whole. I have gathered it is an excellent school, full of generally middle class, supportive families. I think you feel your daughter is lucky to go there and I can easily see why (mine go to a similar school where academic standards are very high and most children are well mannered and interested in learning), but you feel an outsider socially. My advice to you is to try to see the positives and ignore the negatives. I also think you might be surprised by how insecure many people feel, so I doubt it's only you that feels this way about the school. Open up, make yourself vulnerable to these people and you might just be surprised at how you are received.:)

Gotta dash, off to class assembly now ...

2gorgeousgirls

School trips are a nightmare for parents.

Our school has residential trips in y6 and y7.

Last two years have cost me £95 in Y6 and £345 in Y7 (two trips) for eldest daughter.

Costs a fortune (have another child who will be starting these trips soon) but worth every penny as she has gained so much from the experiences.

She's moving on to the "big school" in September and I believe the costs at primary school are nothing compared to what's ahead!:eek:

I agree with other posters who feel that if your DD is only starting to settle then the trip may benefit her greatly. I know it is expensive but if you can afford it, and she really wants to go, then I think you should let her. Nothing to stop you or OH speaking to school to register your feelings about the cost and to ask them to check out cheaper alternatives for the future.

I know it seems a large amount of money for a few night but, as someone else stated, you do get a lot for your money. They have access to all the centre facilities, accommodation, food, not to mention the expertise of the leaders, insurance and transport etc.

I know she is young to be away from home and you will worry in case she is homesick. Both my DDs went on residentials with Brownies from 8 years old (not together) and I worried sick about letting them go. I consoled myself with the thought that they were within driving distance and that, if they were homesick, I could jump in the car and get them. They always had so much fun, they didn't have time to miss us!

jellyhead

Off topic I know, but I've seen some posts mentioning higher costs for high school trips. It will vary from school to school but at my son's high school most trips are not for everyone.

There will be coach trips to the theatre, zoo or whatever but the trips abroad tend to be a couple of coaches, first come first served. My son went away in year 7 (cost around £300) and only 20% of his year group could go, so it wasn't a big deal for those who didn't go. There were other trips but he didn't ask to go on them. He's going again in year ten (£350 but we have to provide a passport this time, whereas in year 7 they had a group passport included in the cost) but again there are only spaces for around 25% of the kids to choose the trips broad.

There was a residential trip in year 8 and the whole class was expected to go. I paid £200 for that, which seemed expensive as primary offer the same thing for £100.

But in general, the skiing trips which cost £500-odd are only for those who really want to go, and the kids who don't go have other activities. Our school has activity week in the last week of summer, and kids can choose things like theme parks, bowling, swimming - even free courses. Everyone has fun, regardless of whether they go abroad or not.

tiredanddesperate

It looks like our primary school residential trips are quite expensive, looking at some of those mentioned on here!

Yr 4 was £140 2 nights away, yr 5 was £250 for 4 nights & yr 6 was £500+ for 4 nights (was France though)

My 3 each did the yr 4 trip when it came around for each of them but we refused the yr5 & yr 6 trips. Couldn't justify the costs. Each child was not the only 1 still at school during the residential week - they all did special things, in non-uniform & had a great time. In fact, my youngest looked forward to the residential week all year long, so he could do interesting things at school whilst everyone else was away

As a comparison, my 3 go to Sea Cadets. They are going away in a group of approx 30 cadets, with at least 8 leaders (very good child/adult ratio) for 5 nights in July at a cost of only £85 each. It is an activity break (mostly watersports, obviously), full bed & board (not camping). Much better value & the children are with friends that they have something in common with (as they are all members of the same club), rather than just classmates.

OP, I can only say that my 3 never missed the 2 trips each they did not go on. They enjoyed the 1, but they've had other trips they enjoyed more. In fact, rather than happy memories of the school trips, they seem to just remember the not-so-good bits & find them lacking to other residential trips they've encountered.

Hope you find a way through this decision-making process. Sorry I can't help more.....:o

Lunar_Eclipse

banson wrote: »

e.g. phoning up in floods of tears asking to come home- I would expect a big "told you so" speech

I don't want to worry you, but that is highly unlikely to happen! Outside of medical emergencies, contact with home is not usually allowed (thus no mobile phones), for exactly this reason.

I have found that most children, but not all, thoroughly enjoy school residential trips.

Lunar_Eclipse

banson wrote: »

My DD has said she wants to go, but then she was backtracking and said she would miss us too much!

A great reason to send her then, especially as I think I am right in saying she is an only child. A huge life skills learning opportunity that she will no doubt be incredibly proud of: she coped, enjoyed herself and learns that she can be independent of your family unit.

liney

Our school do the residential in year 6, but also, probably unusually, the year 1 and 2 (5 to 7 year olds) go to PGL for 2 nights costing around £140.

In my opinion, residential trips are brilliant for building confidence and independance, but also bear in mind that children form close bonds and if your child doesn't go they may feel a little left out when her friends return.

moneysavingmonkey85

You don't sound bitter, just trying hard to balance the books! Please don't assume what people earn though - the other parents may be putting posh clothes & big cars on credit cards!

I have run Brownie trips - we take girls age 7-10 for 3 or 4 days - and they always love it, seem to get to know each other better and learn a lot - especially about being independent as they make their bed, help with washing up, easy cooking etc. Money wise we try to keep it about £75 a child, but that is a struggle for all accommodation & activities & food. I'm not sure exactly what happens on primary school trips. Even with the 7 year olds, we very rarely call parents, as 5 mins of tears is often easily resolved.

As a child, I used to love school trips and saved up myself for them at secondary school (one was £800 to Russia and it was not a posh school). Please remember that guiders & teachers do not get paid for their time on a trip (often getting very little sleep!).

I hope you come to a decision that you are happy with - please always talk to the school and there is likely to be payment plans available (or even to help suggest cheaper places to go/types of activity for next time.) Good luck with whatever you decide

gregg1

banson wrote: »

Please dont think I am being tightfisted..I'm not being a skinflint, I can afford it as I have been saving some money in her account. Although I am by no means well off. I would give my last penny if I thought it would benefit her.

The issues I just wanted to run past everyone were:

1) is it normal for schools to send kids on residentials in yr5 AND yr6
2) did you feel it would affect her if she DIDNT go

and also just get some opinions/have a rant. Im not getting much support from OH (quite the opposite) I suppose it just seems like there are a lot of activities going on in the school, at the moment but not so much "serious" work, as I said before she is struggling with her maths and has only just gained more confidence in her literacy...

if it is a struggle for you to send her then I would say don't and don't let others make you feel bad about it either. There were a few trips when my kids were younger when the cost was a bit on the hgih side and we did not send them. They were a bit put out at the time and whinged and moaned but once the kids are back from the trip it will quickly be forgotten and I truly do not believe she will miss anything of great value.

But then again, as I have said before on here, I am not a fan of school trips and one of the reasons is because its puts unfair financial pressure on some parents.

What you should not do is listen to some on here who would have you believe you are being a skinflint - that is rubbish.