marriage break up and sale of house

pebbles88

boredwithhubby wrote: »

thank you for taking the time to reply. I can assure you that the money side of things is not my main concern in this . I have done much soul searching over the years to reach this decision and I have lots of concerns, but I didnt come onto a forum to seek advice about these.....thats what my friends and family are for. I came on here simply to get some advice on the money side of things.


I am glad you took my reply as it was meant, , just initially the post did seem all about the monetary side of the divorce, but if you have spent a long time thinking about this, it will seem more straight forward in your mind, where as to us on here... its not clear how recent/long time ago that you made the decision to leave (IYSWIM?)

I get very bad brain fog sometimes & what my brain thinks, compared to what comes out can be very different & muddled!

Also I was not "lucky enough to have lump sums stashed away". I came to this country when I was 23 with not 2 pennies to rub together and I worked every hour God sent for 2 years to save enoug to put a deposit on a house. I continued to work hard to pay for that house for 10 years before I met my husband. Even after I married and had my 2 children I still work 30 hours a week and contribute 50 % to all household bills. I wouldnt call it fortunate....everyone has the same opportunites to work hard and earn money but some people choose not to.

I'm sorry, but I really disagree with this, 'everyone' doesn't always have the opportunity to work hard & earn. real life isn't as black & white as that. I know my responsilbilites don't afford me any opportunities to work harder, I wish they did, my life is mostly like groundhog day - get up, make breakfast for mum, get myself ready, get to work, come home, sort tea, make sure mum has everything she needs, go to bed, and start again the next day. I am constantly drained & in pain 99% of the time.

everyone's circumstances are different, and yes although I agree that people have the choice to work hard & get money, and a lot of people choose not too (but that is for another thread) it's not as simple as that. caring responsibilites, illness, mental health, family circumstances all affect what you can do to earn money.




oops, sorry to hijack! back to the topic in hand!

Bambywamby

Boredwithhubby, if your hubby is good a man as you say - I think you should sit down and talk to him - ask him, what does he want to leave the marriage with.
If it is 50/50 or more and you're not happy with that seek legal advice...if he wants less, get him down to the solicitors asap and get it in writing before he changes his mind.

boredwithhubby

ok so I have had time to think about it and also do a little research and this is what I have come up with.

If I work out the value of the house when he moved in and then taking into account what we sold it for that will give me the profit earned jointly. then I take away the loss we have made on our current house and divide 50/50. does that sound fair? it actually works out to be around £7000 more than the original figure I had in mind but as far as I can see it is a fair and reasonable way to work things out.

any opinions?

MrsAnnie

boredwithhubby wrote: »

ok so I have had time to think about it and also do a little research and this is what I have come up with.

If I work out the value of the house when he moved in and then taking into account what we sold it for that will give me the profit earned jointly. then I take away the loss we have made on our current house and divide 50/50. does that sound fair? it actually works out to be around £7000 more than the original figure I had in mind but as far as I can see it is a fair and reasonable way to work things out.

any opinions?

Division of assets is only fair and reasonable if both parties agree to it. Have you proposed the above to you OH?


50/50 is the normal starting point for negotiation.

boredwithhubby

MrsAnnie wrote: »

Division of assets is only fair and reasonable if both parties agree to it. Have you proposed the above to you OH?


50/50 is the normal starting point for negotiation.

no I havent discussed any of this with him yet. the whole point of coming on here was to get peoples opinions on what is fair. my husband will not be seeking a 50/50 split , that I can guarantee but I want to offer him a fair settlement without selling myself short.

make_me_wise

boredwithhubby wrote: »

ok so I have had time to think about it and also do a little research and this is what I have come up with.

If I work out the value of the house when he moved in and then taking into account what we sold it for that will give me the profit earned jointly. then I take away the loss we have made on our current house and divide 50/50. does that sound fair? it actually works out to be around £7000 more than the original figure I had in mind but as far as I can see it is a fair and reasonable way to work things out.

any opinions?

That sounds fair to me. How your husband will view it, time will tell. I really hope things go smoothly for you both. Divorce isn't easy, especially when children are involved. Seems like you are doing your very best to keep things amicable which can only benefit your children.

boredwithhubby

thanks to everyone who took the time to post.

an update- I have now spoken to my husband and we have reacded a figure we re both happy with. I am going to give him £20,000 which means I will have roughly £67,000 it works out at roughly 75/25 in my favour. taking all things into account this seemed like a reasonable solution. we are going to do everything in our power to make this split work for everyone and reduce the impact on the kids. he is going to rent a friends house which is only a few streets away and once the sale of the house goes through which realistically could take 6 months or more i will rent locally also as even with £67,000 I will still not be able to buy a house.

my next question is what isthe best thing for me to do with that money ? I dont know anything about savings or investments or tax implications etc. I am aware that I will not be entitled to any income support or housing benefit due to the amount of my "savings " but I believe it wont affect my tax credits.

jonana1982

sorry, can't help. i am not really familiar with mortgage. Plus figures give me headache. try to talk to a solicitor.

Fly_Baby

boredwithhubby wrote: »

my next question is what isthe best thing for me to do with that money ? I dont know anything about savings or investments or tax implications etc. I am aware that I will not be entitled to any income support or housing benefit due to the amount of my "savings " but I believe it wont affect my tax credits.

Are you sure you won't be able to buy ANY house for this money?

I think your savings will affect pretty much every benefit you might otherwise be entitled to so it makes sense to keep them in a house as an equity.

boredwithhubby

Fly_Baby wrote: »

Are you sure you won't be able to buy ANY house for this money?

I think your savings will affect pretty much every benefit you might otherwise be entitled to so it makes sense to keep them in a house as an equity.

I earn £10,000 so the max mortgage I could get would be £40,000 so added to my £60,000 I would have £120,000. I couldnt get a 3 bedroomed house where I live for less than £150,000 really. I dont expect to ( or even want to ) reply on benefits except tax credits which I will still be entitled to.