marriage break up and sale of house

hastie

mmmm, it seems several people all think assets are split 50 - 50 in a marriage as the norm.
Sounds more like to me your waiting for someone to agree with you.
Doesn't seem to be happening.

Perhaps if you had not posted under a name like boredwithhubby, (what is he a cat?), you might be getting a little more moral support.

Perhaps we'll get a feclessfather, or peedopete on later. I am imagine they would fare less well, but not much. You also appear to have a huge on your chip off your shoulder too, and i am not sure you could change that as easily as change your name.

mountainofdebt

boredwithhubby wrote: »

my husband is a very decent man and we have always agreed that if we did ever split that he would not ever try to shaft me financially. .

Ha - wait until he gets advice from his own solicitor and then see how decent he is.

I'm a decent person but hubby has said the only way financially viable out for him is death (either mine or his)

boredwithhubby

hastie wrote: »

mmmm, it seems several people all think assets are split 50 - 50 in a marriage as the norm.
Sounds more like to me your waiting for someone to agree with you.
Doesn't seem to be happening.

Perhaps if you had not posted under a name like boredwithhubby, (what is he a cat?), you might be getting a little more moral support.

Perhaps we'll get a feclessfather, or peedopete on later. I am imagine they would fare less well, but not much. You also appear to have a huge on your chip off your shoulder too, and i am not sure you could change that as easily as change your name.

yes you are right quite a lot of people think the split is 50/50 but some people have other opinions also. the reason I asked is cos I wanted peoples opinions so it is quite interesting to see the range of answers from 50/50 to give him nothing! giving him nothing was never an option as you can see from my original post which was that I had a figure in mind and wanted to see if it was fair.

no , he is not a cat but without knowing all my personal history you have no idea of why I would be bored with him. I wont bore you with the details as I didnt come on here for moral support...I have plenty of friends and family to give me advice on relationship issues. having said all that the name doesnt really mean anything. I strugged to think of a name, I didnt want to use one of the usual usernames I use on forums in case someone recognised me.

I am quite intrigued to now why you think I have a huge chip on my shoulder just from reading a few questions and answers on my financial history. its interesting that you see a wife who wants to leave her husband such a threat to the moral fibre of this forum. makes me wonder is there a reason for this? thanks for taking the time to post however

Butterfliesarepretty

boredwithhubby wrote: »

yes you are right quite a lot of people think the split is 50/50 but some people have other opinions also. the reason I asked is cos I wanted peoples opinions so it is quite interesting to see the range of answers from 50/50 to give him nothing! giving him nothing was never an option as you can see from my original post which was that I had a figure in mind and wanted to see if it was fair.

no , he is not a cat but without knowing all my personal history you have no idea of why I would be bored with him. I wont bore you with the details as I didnt come on here for moral support...I have plenty of friends and family to give me advice on relationship issues. having said all that the name doesnt really mean anything. I strugged to think of a name, I didnt want to use one of the usual usernames I use on forums in case someone recognised me.

I am quite intrigued to now why you think I have a huge chip on my shoulder just from reading a few questions and answers on my financial history. its interesting that you see a wife who wants to leave her husband such a threat to the moral fibre of this forum. makes me wonder is there a reason for this? thanks for taking the time to post however

Hi well i think you are being very considerate to your husband and all you are doing is asking for a little advice on here. Not all marriages are about fighting each other. I hope that your split will be a good one and that you can remain on good terms.

I on the other hand decided not to fight for half the house and left with 7k and chose to start my life again by myself and glad i did it that way. Me and ex are amicable again but he still occasionally comments about me and my money. Im a non-resident mother and am committed to being fair to my child paying every month and working fulltime and having my own home.

you and your husband sound like you are doing things amicable and I wish you the best in that as it will be better for the children and both of you all round.

Gigglepig

Since you were married my assumption would be to pool all debts and assets and split proceeds 50-50, unless you had an explicit agreement with OH that certain assets were to be in sole ownership (prenup or other agreement).

SandC

boredwithhubby wrote: »

thanks for your post. I am more than willing to give my husband enough money to set himself up with a new home as the children will be staying with him twice a week. Me giving him a share of the proceeds does not depend on him giving me maintenance. he cant afford it and why should he as he will be feeding the kids when they are at his. I have never said I woud give him nothing...I am trying to work out what is a fair amount for everyone

Ah you meant maintenance for you, I misunderstood, sorry.

SandC

hastie wrote: »

bored,
First off, I really hope you are able to deal with your joint equity amicably.
However, unless you have a pre nup, you are 50/50

when my wife and I got married, she instantly became richer by 80k, ie. equity in property. I cannot imagine not sharing the equity fully as that is marriage.
Many men, including celebs, are on the end of massive stings from divorcing their partners.
Not naive, informed. Now you are too.:)

It all very much depends on how each party, with their solicitors, handles it. You don't automatically become entitled to half someone's assets on marriage (although a solicitor might well try to get just that, they will only do so if the other party has got themselves a useless one!). A short marriage of around 4 years with no children involved will have most solicitors advising that each party goes away with what they came with.

Where children are involved though, it's a whole lot more complicated.

princessdreamer

Have to disagree with the 50/50 split, the OP has the children and needs to support them. I was advised the worst to expect in my divorce would be a 60/40 split in my favour, even that seems too much to give a man who pays nothing for his children.

mountainofdebt

princessdreamer wrote: »

Have to disagree with the 50/50 split, the OP has the children and needs to support them. I was advised the worst to expect in my divorce would be a 60/40 split in my favour, even that seems too much to give a man who pays nothing for his children.

Sorry but don't the OP and her husband have children that need supporting?

JodyBPM

I think I'd start at the 50/50 split as a starting point, but then adjust to take into account the fact the OP will have the children living with her the majority of the time, so will need a bigger chunk of the equity to get herself set up.

I think reasonable would be in the region of £27K to OH and £60K to OP. This gives them both a lump sum to get back on their feet with, to provide a home that the children can live in/visit. And it recognises that the both, as a family, have contributed to putting into the households which have built up the equity.

I'd expect the OH to pay maintenance, though (and with that lump sum in the bank, there would be no reason for him not to).