Parents friends

laurarobby

My Parents(mum) has asked to invite 5 couples... 2 of the couples i was inviting anyways and 2 others i was inviting to the night anyways as they are putting alot of money towards im happy for them to come but 1 of them ive put my foot down and said definatly not to the day and maybe to the night my mum was fine and respected my opinion! so was easy....

Im awaiting MIL to start butting in with guests she wants.... she has no chance lol
my church is now full as it can only seat 60people and why should we pay for some people we dont know to come and spend the day with us! lol x

pinkmum2010

i'm happy for my parents to invite some friends to the evening as i know they won't go over the top. we are paying for the wedding ourselves because my parents gave me the deposit for our first house, which they made clear at the time was the wedding fund whch i'm totatlly cool with, but they are paying £600 towards my dress . the in laws haven't offered any help but i have asked them to draw up a list of people they would like to invite and providing it's not over the top they can come, but if there are alot i might suggest that they pay for them.

johannalf88

My MiL2B wants to invite some if her friends to our evening reception. I am not totally against it, but I don't want people I don't know there. Also how am I meant to word the invites if I don't have a clue who they are!? It coming from us will just seem wierd?! Any advise?

trying_2_b_good

My Mum & OH's parents haven't asked if they can bring any guests - but we're paying for the wedding ourselves so wouldn't have let them anyway!

Did you tell your Dad how much it is likely to cost per head? I haven't invited my uncle on my dad's side as I never see him. When explaining this to my grandma, I said that if I invited him and his wife it would cost me an extra £100. She then backed down as she realised that it's a silly amount of money to spend on people you don't see or speak to. Perhaps your dad would be more understanding if you told him this? perhaps he's upset because he's planning on giving you lots of cash towards so he thinks he should be allowed to invite people?

A warning - get used to the guest list dilemma, it won't be over until you're married!

trying_2_b_good

johannalf88 wrote: »

My MiL2B wants to invite some if her friends to our evening reception. I am not totally against it, but I don't want people I don't know there. Also how am I meant to word the invites if I don't have a clue who they are!? It coming from us will just seem wierd?! Any advise?

Ring MiL2B and ask her the names. Then ask for their addresses to post them, or hand to MiL2B to hand out with an explanation of who you are!

floss2

OP, if you & your OH are paying the bill, then you should be guided only by the limit set by the venue. BTW, is this because it is a package, or because of size limitations?

So write your ideal list, not including friends of the parents (and include yourselves & best man / bridesmaids ) and see how many you have. Then see if there is any space left, or whether you have outgrown your available number.

Then consider including your best friends - after all, it is your day - and then look at adding the parents' friends onto the evening list.

Finally, if you are the only ones paying, DON'T show anyone else the list, as it's none of their business. The parents are there as guests - not the organisers / funder of YOUR wedding.

sharpee

This was the part of the wedding planning I was dreading! So to avoid it, and to ensure wehave the day we want, we've gone for an intimate wedding of 18 guests. That eliminates the 'can i just invite' comments.

I do feel a bit guily as my parents we invited to their best friends childrens weddings. If I was to invite them to mine I wouldn't be able to invite my friends. I have explained this to my mum and she was very understanding (not sure her best friend will be though) and have said if we have anyone who can't make it (on my guest list) then they will be the first to be invited.

We've tackled the numbers by immediate family plus a couple of friend each (9 each) and its up to each of us to decided who we want to invite.

It is your wedding day so you should invite who you want and if numbers/money/venue allows it let your parents invite a couple of friends.

Kinski

My daughter gets married in a couple of weeks and we are contributing to the wedding, I wouldn't dream of inviting people to her day it's up to them who they do and don't want, in saying that they have invited our best friends but they are a couple that have known her since she was a toddler, I never asked her to invite them it was all my daughters idea.

trinity_enigma

Thanks for all the replies everyone. Lots of opinions here. I think the general just is if parents are contributing they have a right to invite a couple of people.

An a little calmer today than I was yesterday but am still pretty annoyed at the way he went around it rather than that he wants to invite people. It had just honestly never occurred to either of us that they would want to invite people.

This is the exact reason we want to pay for the wedding ourselves- so we don't have people thinking they have a right to interfere. As it goes if he had been a little politer it could gave been quite helpful as there are a number of places we had vetoed because we couldn't have met the minimum numbers. Now i feel like I have to let him invite people as otherwise I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face but on the otherhand don't really want him to think he will get everything his own way. It's just bloody infuriating!

floss2

trinity_enigma wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies everyone. Lots of opinions here. I think the general just is if parents are contributing they have a right to invite a couple of people.

An a little calmer today than I was yesterday but am still pretty annoyed at the way he went around it rather than that he wants to invite people. It had just honestly never occurred to either of us that they would want to invite people.

This is the exact reason we want to pay for the wedding ourselves- so we don't have people thinking they have a right to interfere. As it goes if he had been a little politer it could gave been quite helpful as there are a number of places we had vetoed because we couldn't have met the minimum numbers. Now i feel like I have to let him invite people as otherwise I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face but on the otherhand don't really want him to think he will get everything his own way. It's just bloody infuriating!

Have you got members of both families who can slot onto your list before friends? Or maybe you'd feel a bit happier if they are people who are, as Peter Kay says, "not your real aunty & uncle but friends of your mum & dad who you've always called aunty & uncle"?!