miss him

izzybusy23

Big hugs OP. At the height of the creation of dance music ('88-'89) I used to rave the nights away on acid and speed as did all my friends and used to have big trips. I was 16-17 years old. However; the phase passed and I grew up and I haven't took recreational drugs in over 20 years. Hopefully it's just a phase with your son too. I know that when my DD is old enough to go out to nightclubs etc I'm going to be at my wits end because even though I took drugs myself, I did know when to stop but some of my friends didn't. I think it's a big worry to parents.

Gavin83

Soubrette wrote: »

What made you give up and do you miss it? I have a friend who used to do a lot of cannabis (every day), some ecstasy, some cocaine, acid by choice if he could get some, mushrooms, well pretty much anything bar injectables (funny how some drug abusers are sniffy about that method of delivery!). I honestly thought that living a much more productive and sober life (left uni 10 years ago and stopped), he would see what a waste those years were but I honestly believe that if he could somehow become a student again (or won the lottery and gave up work), he'd just smoke, snort and swallow his way through life again.

I wonder if we could somehow understand what makes a person give up something in their mind as well as physically, would we have at least some kind of plan for people like the OPs son.

Why would those those years be a waste? I used to take a tonne of drugs in my younger days similar to the poster you quoted but these days I only occasionally dabble. I guess it's mainly because my life is filled up with other activities so I really don't find the time or money for it anymore. However I don't see them years as a waste. I had great fun, met some awesome people and got some focus to my life. I still managed to hold down an education and job during this period and really don't believe it affected me negatively at all. Like most things people are different and some people can't control it though.

Without knowing what drugs it is and hearing more of the situation it's hard to comment on the first post. Ive no idea how exactly he's been lost to drugs. Is he suffering mental problems or similar?

ceebeeby

couldn't read and run, and as the parent of teenagers, just want to add wishes for him finding his way home

happy35

i have a teenage son and this is my worst fear, dont know what to say other than I hope you can help your son sort himself out and get his life back on track

Jenkin

I feel for you Travelling Light.

I went through this with my daughter. She was on drugs from 14 and her personality completely changed, crashed out of school and left home at 16. I couldn't work out where my beautiful girl had gone and where I'd gone wrong, she was just horrible. She would steal from us and lie, her druggy mates were her family and we were treated like dirt. It was awful.

She's now 18 and a completely different person. Yes, she smokes but drug free for a year and we get on really well. If you'd have told me this when she was at her worst I would never have believed you, I truly believed she hated me. Hang in there. Believe he will change and believe it will get better, hard as it is. And find somebody to support you through all this xx

penelopedee_2

Hugs op - lost my DB a long time ago. Took him 15 years to get sorted but I'm glad to have him back.

Hope things get easier x

Zoetoes

My son is 17, he was snorting meow last year at 16, he was at someone's house snorting it all night as well as drinking and whatever else, the others couldn't wake him up the next morning.

He told me he could hear everything but couldn't open his eyes or move, he heard his 'mates' discussing dumping him in the alley and thought he was going to die, thankfully one of them rang an ambulance.

He had to have a tube shoved down his throat and something injected to bring him round and was put on a drip.

He knew he had to break away from that circle, it's not easy when there are so many doing drugs, and it will never change and there will always be a new drug, it's real life. It probably won't be the last time he does drugs, but hopefully he will be more careful in future.

I wish you both well.

Soubrette

Gavin83 wrote: »

Why would those those years be a waste? I used to take a tonne of drugs in my younger days similar to the poster you quoted but these days I only occasionally dabble. I guess it's mainly because my life is filled up with other activities so I really don't find the time or money for it anymore. However I don't see them years as a waste. I had great fun, met some awesome people and got some focus to my life. I still managed to hold down an education and job during this period and really don't believe it affected me negatively at all. Like most things people are different and some people can't control it though.

Without knowing what drugs it is and hearing more of the situation it's hard to comment on the first post. Ive no idea how exactly he's been lost to drugs. Is he suffering mental problems or similar?

Perhaps it would be fairer to say that there was a huge opportunity cost to the drug taking. Lots of self pity because girls don't like nice men like me - no, you never get to meet girls because all you're interested in is scoring and on the odd occasion you're out you're high and with your other high friends and you act like a jerk, girls don't like that so much either. Starts university a bit of geeky genius taking engineering science - ends university with a mediocre degree in philosophy.

You may have gained focus, he most certainly lost it.

Now he has a girlfriend (somewhat ironically antidrugs), a good job and some plans for the future, the shame of it is that he looks back on his student days as some halcyon time of enlightment and doesn't remember (or perhaps doesn't want to admit) the costs at all.