At my wits end and really need some advice!!

Alan_M_2

I'ts tyime to put your foot down and do whats best for your Dad, I've had recent problems with my parents finances and as hard as it is you have to sit him down and read him the riot act to get it sorted out.

I felt absolutely awful doing it, it felt like a role reversal and I was talking to my Parents (who are both in their early 70's) like kids.

A week or so later when things started to happen and the problems were sorted they were terribly grateful, but it was quite unpleasant at the time.

Sometimes you really do have to be cruel to be kind.

mophead

I'ts tyime to put your foot down and do whats best for your Dad, I've had recent problems with my parents finances and as hard as it is you have to sit him down and read him the riot act to get it sorted out.

I've tried this and he just walked out. He said if I continued to pressure him about it he would never speak to me again. This has been on going for about 4 years and we don't have the closest relationship as it is.
I will try again, the thing is he has'nt had to face upto it as the council don't actually know where he is living. My mother (they are divorced) is down as living alone with my brother and is claiming benefits as she is unfit for work. He moved in on a temporary arrangment which has become long term as they both just live day to day. I could let the council know where he is, but i would then be guilty of dropping him right in and i'm scared of pushing him over the edge.

mjdh1957

It sounds like he has buried his head and will do nothing and so no wonder you are at your wits' end.

From what you have said ( and this might sound harsh but isn't meant to be) you have done all you can and when it comes down to it, it is his problem not yours. There are times to admit defeat and to me this sounds like one of them.

If the council go ahead and compulsorily purchase this property that might be the best solution.

TJ27

I was going to say the same thing. I work for a council dept who carry out CP's, although I don't actually have much to do with them myself.

The council have to demonstrate that they have achieved market value when it is sold. The way they do this is usually to put it up for auction. I recently learned that even if the reserve is not met on such properties they are usually sold anyway, as the market value conditions are still met.

mophead

From what you have said ( and this might sound harsh but isn't meant to be) you have done all you can and when it comes down to it, it is his problem not yours. There are times to admit defeat and to me this sounds like one of them.

No it's not harsh, i've sort of come to that conclusion myself, it's just heartbreaking to feel so helpless and unable to do anything. It is his problem your right, its just very frustrating to know that i will probably never be able to afford to own a home of my own and yet he is prepared to just turn his back on one.