At what point did your OH and you stop having "your" money and became "our" money

nuttybabe

After a month of seeing each other hubby moved into my house. We opened a joint account and his wages went into that. My wages stayed in my account as my mortgage came out of it. At some point (probably when i changed jobs after we were married) my wages got paid into the joint account and all bills came out of it.

Now I am a stay at home mum we have the joint account which his wages go into and all bills come out of. I then transfere money for diesel into his account and food into my account so we know what we have for the month. I deal with all the money but if either of us wants to buy anything and we have the money we can.

bylromarha

Jesswithwings wrote: »

We opened a joint bank account when we got married (we never lived together before marriage) and we pool all our money into one big pot (well, big might be stretching the truth... one pot)

Ditto.

Worked when we both worked. Worked when I stopped working to raise the kids. Worked when OHs pay went v low. Worked now that I'm earning again. Our pot stretches and recedes, but its always a shared pot.

Communication is the main priority in any relationship and how you deal with your money, as long as you've communicated with each other about what you're going to do, is the key.

xshootingstarsx

When we first got married and weren't living together we had our separate accounts as we were both working and had seperate bills to pay and so on. Then when we moved in together we pooled everything together (apart from an amount of money I had as a gift from my husband and family, he knows about this) and we opened a joint account. I tend to manage the bills and the spending and sometimes he checks it over if he wants to. He's the only one working atm but it is our money and not "his".

LillythePink

For us, it's been a gradual move from totally single (with him transferring money to my account each week) to moving that money to a joint account (I paid the same into it) until last year when we bought a house when everything goes into a joint account and from there, bills are paid, savings transferred (again joint accounts) and then we both get the same amount of pocket money each month to spend as we please.

I earn more than him but when we had single accounts, I had to pay for my dd child care as she wasn't his.

I also get a bonus from work which pays for our holidays each year - but I would love to be able to spend it on me

I have always been a spender (unfortunately) and he has been more careful with his money, but I am getting better at not spending

I was talking to a friend at work who has now come to the realisation that pocket money for her and her oh would be good as she gets moaned at for buying stuff (she can spend like no tomorrow) but then he spends on his hobby!

The thing is, do whatever works for you and him - no plan is perfect and one way will work more than another.

ab7167

Ours has sort of been a gradual merging over the years - which is what worked for us! Started totally separate, few year later got a joint bank a while later, then it was a joint mortgage, then a couple of kids so my earnings went right down and we started to use the joint account more. We're finally getting married later this year, and will make the final step to completely joint finances sometime soon. Maybe this month, maybe next... But we have the same attitude to money and we talk a lot about how it's going to work.

carrieuk

We have a joint account where both our salaries go into. We then pay everything from there and have a certain amount of money to ourselves a week. Anything left over is at the moment spent on stuff for the house. We both get overtime also so that's our own. It just works i think. I establish what bills we have left during the week and then any extra money left over we both spend sensibly. We have arguments about money but mostly it's because we have none or haven't enough to pay bills...

Spirit_2

On getting married.

For the first 20 years he earned lots more than me, for the last 8 years I have been the higher earner.

When we had debts they were 'our debts' now we have savings they are our savings.

Simples

Jinx

We're just about to open our joint account after 6 years together. I had debts and didnt want him associated with that. Now that I'm debt free I'm happy that we can pool our money and we have agreed that pocket money will go into our own accounts to be spent as we want. We've talked a lot about money over the years re debts n stuff so I think thats the most important bit....

jcr16

hubby and i knew with a few weeks we wanted to live together. so 6 weeks after first meeting we opened a joint bank account as we wanted a mortgage and both our wages went into the new account from that point. and it has always been our money from then. we moved into our first home in the nov of the same year. we were 19 and 20 when we got the joint bank account. that was 10 years ago now and it has worked perfectly for us. were husband and wife and share everything.

vroombroom

OH and I don't have a joint account and won't be getting one. However all the bills come out of his account on payday and everything is split 50/50, I transfer my half into his account. We also go halves on anything for our son, food shopping and anything for the house.

Anything left from my wages goes on car insurance, petrol, pet insurance x 2, clothes, nights outs etc x same with OH x

The only joint account we have, if you will, is a big Terramundi pot that all our loose change goes in:D