Single parent now :-(

nicola1303

Hi all, my name is Nicola and now a single mum to 3 beautiful children aged 9,6 and 3. My ex decided he basically wasn't ' in love ' with me ( after 10 years together ) in April and to cut a very long story short I relocated near to my mum in North Yorkshire.
I used to go mainly on the Old school Threads but I'm here for advise on tips really regarding what to do when the ' boredom ' sets in and watching the purse strings.

Looking forward to speaking to you all.

dehaani

nicola1303 wrote: »

I'm here for advise on tips really regarding what to do when the ' boredom ' sets in

Read a book.

whitewing

My DS and I loved the occasional duvet day. Leave pjs on all day. Drag the duvets down to the lounge, read, watch TV etc together. Have a picnic or buffet and just chill.

savingmummy

Sorry to hear you`ve seperated after so long.
What do you mean by boredom? do you mean things you did together and will miss or just being alone now and not having a partner?

As your now with your mum maybe this could be a new start to do more things with mum/nan.
Do you have friends there? maybe girls nights in/off if budget allows.
Have a look around locally and find out whats on in the area, a lot of the timew there are free things to do locally even college courses of an evening if you were interested in that.
Parks and Picnics are free and fun on nice days with the kiddies.
Some farms etc are cheap depending on where you live or if you can travel to them easily.

nicola1303

Thanks for your replies. By boredom yes I mean like when the kids are in bed it's lonley and I find myself ' clock watching ' until it's time for me to go to bed.
I have met a few mums and the Playgroup my 3 year old attends and some parents at the school.
I have been out a few times just locally and I suppose it helps that my mum and step dad have a pub here so I know quite a few locals. I have been to Kendal college and hopefully doing my Level 3 TA in Sept.
I'm just having up and down days but I suppose that will all ease off.

Darlyd

When I was single I was so bored, so opted to do a learning direct course, which kept me busy in the evenings. Now I work in the evenings so don't get so bored.. In the mornings little one goes playschool so I do house work etc, then when I get her we do things together. But now as the day has gone on, she is in her bedroom playing with her toys and I am now bored too. So I have just started a maths and English course with learn direct.

deedee71

I know it won't help unless you have babysitters but I always advise looking on www.meetup.com for local meet up groups. You can dip in and out when you can and it's nice to have someone to go to the pictures with etc.

Ilona

Sorry to hear about your change of circumstances Nicola, but try and look on it as a brand new start. Oh, I know you will have your down moments, but hey, you live in a beautiful place, North Yorks is my favourite place to be. Perhaps you will meet other mums, nursery or school. Just going for a walk can be refreshing with all that fabulous countryside around you. I wish you the best of luck in your new life, and isn't your mum lucky to have her grandkids around her.
Ilona

Sally42

I was a single for some time prior to meeting my hubby, and I know what you mean ~ the evenings especially can seem very long when you don't have another adult to exchange chatter with.
Could you join an online group for single parents & pop in their chat room, or similarly join a group of people who might share a hobby/interest with you? Could you possibly find a sitter one night a week and do an evening class? What about inviting some of the mums you've met over for an evening? Or maybe you could get a pen-pal or two; writing letters is a very therapeutic pastime!

Moominmamma

Obviously it's not gonna help with meeting people, but if you're stuck at home and at a lose end why not try entering some competitions from the forum on here to pass the time - it gets quite addictive, and you might win something fab

make_me_wise

Hi Nicola,

Hope you are okay hun. I have not been in your position but can imagine that its quite a scary prospect facing being a single mum, emotionally and financially.

With regards to watching expenses I would recommend making sure you have the best deals on your outgoings such as gas, electric, insurance etc. All of our bills are paid by direct debit. This gives us some good rates especially on the utilities.

We have a seperate account for our vital monthly spends like food and petrol. That way we dont rob peter to pay paul by dibbing into money allocated to other things. We have a budget and stick to it.

I dont know your financial situation. You could check on the entitledto website or go and see your local CAB to see if you would qualify for certain benefits. You could possibly be entitled to council tax benefit or at least the reduced rate for being sole adult.

Are you pally with any of the mums at your kids school? Is there a coffee circle? Are there any neighbours nearby who have teens that would be willing to do some babysitting? Then you could get out of an evening and spend time with your friends.

I wish you well.