Single parent now :-(

karren

try netmums? as they have a local forum in all areas x

LittleMissMPB

It's a shame I haven't managed to move house yet. Our next move will be to North Yorkshire.

It's difficult being a single parent. Weirldy enough I used to find mornings just as difficult as the evenings. Sometimes it was hard work just getting out of bed, I would get up, sort my daughters breakfast out and just have a little cry in the kitchen out of sight. Then she would shout through that she had finished - so I'd walk back through to her, to find a big smile and a face covered in cereal, and somehow I always managed to pull it together enough to 'snap out of it' and do something.

I found I had to get out the house - even just for an hour - however, coming back to an empty house, knowing it would stay empty was always hard too. I found visiting friends and family during the day helped keep me somewhat sane. For the first few days I couldn't be at home during the day. I struggled looking after my daughter in the house as I felt so lonely, so I would make excuses to go out, a day trip to the park with a picnic, visiting my mum etc. Then all I would do was make sure I was home for her bedtime and most evenings I would concentrate on having what *I* wanted on TV, catching up on the housework, studying my own thing (I did a lot of research on child psychology, just for pure interest as I want to eventually work with children). I got a PAYG bolt on that gave me free calls to certain numbers. My best friend and some other close friends were included in that, so I either called them for a chat, or they called me. My best friend in particular understood the need to 'talk' to someone, even just about random carp to stop the lonliness.

It gets better. It gets easier, and eventually you will learn to like the 'alone' time. Try and get out, even just once a month if you can get a babysitter for the evening. Phone some friends, even if it is just going to a quiet pub for a drink and a chat - I used to meet up with my best friend once every other week just to go play pool. Neither of us can play properly, but the pub was usually pretty much empty, we've known the landlord of the pub since we were 18 and it's a 'comfy' place to go. It's actually where I got back in touch with my now fiancee.

I know quite a few single mums in North Yorkshire who like to go to the childrens centres (surestart) if that's an option for you with your youngest? One of them has 4 children and I really admire her for doing it on her own (and no, she doesn't claim benefits before anyone judges).

Just make sure you notify people like tax credits etc of the change.

Really wishing you the best of luck - stay strong and you can do anything.

mum2twinsx2

nicola1303 wrote: »

Thanks for your replies. By boredom yes I mean like when the kids are in bed it's lonley and I find myself ' clock watching ' until it's time for me to go to bed.
I have met a few mums and the Playgroup my 3 year old attends and some parents at the school.
I have been out a few times just locally and I suppose it helps that my mum and step dad have a pub here so I know quite a few locals. I have been to Kendal college and hopefully doing my Level 3 TA in Sept.
I'm just having up and down days but I suppose that will all ease off.

You will find plenty to do, I am not single mum but my partner is working away darn forces...
There is always housework, a DIY job, touch up painting, ironing etc to do.
As been said, competitions to be entered.
Join parenting site meet some other mums to chat too.
Online dating...

youngmummy

hi hun, sorry to hear about your situation,
as regards to bordom
you could read a book, watch a film, have a relaxing bath, paint your nails, baking, have friends round for the evening for a coffee (glass of wine ) and a chat, if you have things to sell you could spend the evening listing them online in your local paper or other selling sites, parenting forums, enter compitions, take up a home learning course (these are very flexible) do some diy, obviously nothing too loud dont want to wake the kids,
good luck for the future
sorry if this isnt much help
take care xxx

ashaput

you may indeed have been socializing with others, but I rate you need someone who can do more than that. I believe you have a girlfriend or someone who can you trusted. so why don't you take her to spend a night in your home. Looking after the babies together and when the silence comes you can have a chat with her or do something you both like.

Mupette

How about making gifts for birthday and Christmas,

You've learn't to budget etc, what gift making... to keep instep with all your hard work.

jcr16

i'm not a single mum, but lately hubby has been on nights.

I've hated it. kids are all in bed by 7 and i'm determined not to watch rubbish on tv. so i've been crafting. I taught myself crochet. and i've also done some jewellery making, patchwork quilt making, felt crafts. The only prob now is i'm getting so engrossed i'm not going to bed till late,lol.

But it has really helped. and i've made lots of nice bits for our home.

abby1234519

nicola1303 wrote: »

Thanks for your replies. By boredom yes I mean like when the kids are in bed it's lonley and I find myself ' clock watching ' until it's time for me to go to bed.
I have met a few mums and the Playgroup my 3 year old attends and some parents at the school.
I have been out a few times just locally and I suppose it helps that my mum and step dad have a pub here so I know quite a few locals. I have been to Kendal college and hopefully doing my Level 3 TA in Sept.
I'm just having up and down days but I suppose that will all ease off.

I am confuuuused! Are you here in sunny Kendal ( I say sunny optimistically) or there in North Yorkshire!

There are some nice groups in Kendal, I know mum used to go to bits and bobs but doesn't have time at the moment as shes looking after me and my bump! She did random things like glass painting and the like.

nicola1303

Thank you all for your replies.
Abby1234519, I'm in Ingleton about 20 mins away from Kendal but off to Kendal college in September.

Going to have alook at some online courses and join the Library for some ' craft ' books.

abby1234519

nicola1303 wrote: »

Thank you all for your replies.
Abby1234519, I'm in Ingleton about 20 mins away from Kendal but off to Kendal college in September.

Going to have alook at some online courses and join the Library for some ' craft ' books.

Ahh good old Ingleton, Kendal college is actually quite good, what are you studying? I don't actually live here I'm just here for a few months (have been since mid May, leaving mid September) at my parents as I am rather pregnant and I like being looked after by Mum!