Looking for my dad

DebtHater

Hi all,

I never knew my real dad and times have been pretty tough lately, I could do with tracing him and connecting with that part of the family that I never had.

Problem is, I have no idea where to start.

I know various bits and pieces of his history, I know his full name and place of birth (from my birth certificate). I also know he served in the RAF, as that is where he met my mum. But thats about it. I also remember his mum (my nan) used to send birthday cards, but I cant remember her name.
I'm no longer talking to my mum, so I cant ask her for any more info.

I have done various Google searches, not much has come up. Have also looked on Facebook, messaged a few profiles just to try my luck but nothing has come back.

Anyone have any other ideas?

Thanks

memelalou

I have heard the samarations can help tracing family members.

I also never knew my father and traced when i was older. If i can give you one piece of advice, you said your going through a tough time right now, please wait until your life's more 'constant'. From experience finding your family again is very mentally tough, my father didn't want anything to do with me {i also was going through a very tough time and this was a kick in the teeth i didn't need, but i do understand the need you feel}.

I do wish you all the best and i do hope you find what your looking for.

3v3

I agree with memelalou that finding 'lost' relatives can be mentally and emotionally challenging and that you need to really think about the reasons why you want to do this in the first instance. Then, go through various potential outcomes in your own mind, working out which potential outcomes you can deal with (and how!).

I wish you the best outcome from your search.

Just a thought, even though you are not speaking to your mother, is there another relation/friend who might be prepared to ask/gleen information from her on your behalf?

Browntoa

did they get married ??

if you know where they were likely to have married it should be reasonably easy to locate the marriage. Buying the marraige certificate from the GRO will give you parents names and addresses on both sides. This will then allow you to find out if your father had brothers or sisters who may be easier to trace.

geri1965_2

memelalou wrote: »

I have heard the samarations can help tracing family members.

Do you mean the Samaritans or the Salvation Army? I don't think the Samaritans do, but the Salvation Army can help.

ailuro2

have you tried putting the name into 192.com?

zaksmum

DebtHater wrote: »

Hi all,

I never knew my real dad and times have been pretty tough lately, I could do with tracing him and connecting with that part of the family that I never had.

Problem is, I have no idea where to start.

I know various bits and pieces of his history, I know his full name and place of birth (from my birth certificate). I also know he served in the RAF, as that is where he met my mum. But thats about it. I also remember his mum (my nan) used to send birthday cards, but I cant remember her name.
I'm no longer talking to my mum, so I cant ask her for any more info.

I have done various Google searches, not much has come up. Have also looked on Facebook, messaged a few profiles just to try my luck but nothing has come back.

Anyone have any other ideas?

Thanks

Why do you want to contact him? What does times being tough have to do with it?

DebtHater

Browntoa wrote: »

did they get married ??

if you know where they were likely to have married it should be reasonably easy to locate the marriage. Buying the marraige certificate from the GRO will give you parents names and addresses on both sides. This will then allow you to find out if your father had brothers or sisters who may be easier to trace.

Yes, they got married. I will get hold of the marriage certificate and see what it says - good thinking!

As far as I am aware, his dad was ill (heart condition from memory) so doubtful if he is still around. However my nan used to send cards etc as I said previously, but then we lost touch, so I dont know if she is still with us.

ailuro2 wrote: »

have you tried putting the name into 192.com?

I did, and it brought up one or two possibles, of which I put into Facebook and just messaged generally to see if any of them matched - didnt get any replies unfortunately.

DebtHater

zaksmum wrote: »

Why do you want to contact him? What does times being tough have to do with it?

People I know are always saying how they can rely on their dad and I have never been able to say things like that. I just want to have a relationship with my dad.

Things are pretty tough at the moment, I'm not on talking terms with my mother and I am not really happy in myself. I suppose I was just hoping to find someone who would be apart of my life. But then again, it was him that run away so maybe that says it all.

Alias_Omega

Ok, Probably wont work due to some data protection act etc.

http://www.raf.mod.uk/links/contacts.cfm


You could write them a nice letter (without the fee) asking for your fathers service number if he is not still serving . This help as then you could contact the pension people at the bottom of the page as they will usually have an address that they pay the pension too.

You could otherwise try creating a post on PPRUNE in the Military Aircrew section, and then on E-Goat asking if anyone knows where he is, what area etc.

CH27

DebtHater wrote: »

People I know are always saying how they can rely on their dad and I have never been able to say things like that. I just want to have a relationship with my dad.

Things are pretty tough at the moment, I'm not on talking terms with my mother and I am not really happy in myself. I suppose I was just hoping to find someone who would be apart of my life. But then again, it was him that run away so maybe that says it all.

As you are feeling fragile you need to be extremely careful about the can of worms you are looking to open.
Meeting your dad will not solve anything but it could make you feel 10 times worse.

Try to resolve the issues that are troubling you & then think about finding him.