How to help a friend with a drug problem

gizmo111

She will have been offered every available service and referred by social worker - how she engages with those services is entirely up to her - most you can do is offer to go with her to a couple of appointments for support. If being with her son is not an incentive to change then I can't think of anything that would be.

merlin68

Watch your handbag and belongings. My friend had to kick her son out the house, as he kept nicking money and selling all her possesions, to fund his habit. The druggies over the road are dreadful, going out thieving and mugging old ladies.

busiscoming2

I would say try to spend some time with her son and give the grandparents a bit of a break, perhaps he could spend the weekend at yours sometimes? Trying to keep life as normal as possible for him in probably the best thing you can do in this situation.

meg72

Your friend is talking suicide and must be taken seriously.Do her parents know ? if not tell them also the servicesmust be informed. There is a realdanger she meansi it.Bless you for being such a lovely
friend.

when_will_it_end

the only thing you can do is inform the right people and back off, i know this sounds harsh but you being there for her everyday is not helping, stop going round slowly tell her you are busy, she needs to realise and help her self first, then your support will be helpfull

good luck

londoner1998

A very tough call... I have been in your situation (with my best friend) and after many conversations both face to face and on the phone, I had to make it clear that I knew what was going on, that the lies didn't wash anymore and reminded her she had a responsibility to her 9 year old daughter, who was being brought up by the grandmother.

She didn't like it, got very cocky and it all came to a stand still for quite a few months. In the end , I made it clear ot her that I wasn't going to be listening to her lies and excuses any more, that I thought she needed profesional help. I made it clear that I was very worried for her daughter and said '' when you are ready, and want to talk about the way out of this, you know where I am, any time". It took quite a while, but she seems to have come back to a more healthy palce, although there is a long way to go with the issues that got her to use drugs in the first place.

You can't do it for them, but disappearing from the scene is not a good call either, in my opinion. I know someone how had been sending calls for attention for a few weeks and using drugs heavily before she was found dead after a bender: at 24. Nobody knows if it could have been avoided, but quite a few people felt responsbile in some way for not watching her closely.
Good luck, you seem to be a very good friend- I agree with those who say spend some time with the boy: he really needs some kind of stable adult presence in his life.

Pee

I don't know a huge amount about cocaine - lots of experience with heroin users - although I do have two friends who used to be addicted to it and have managed to completely pull themselves around. (I can only think of one of the many people I knew who used heroin who have done that.)

I would say that the advice about tough love is good advice, as is the making sure that she cannot borrow money or steal from you, just don't let there be any temptation...

Having said that, this doesn't sound too much like someone who is on cocaine. Cocaine makes you feel prefectly worthwhile, even if you aren't really, if you see what I mean and arrogance is the characteristic I would associate with it, not this inward dwelling on her failings... maybe that's because when you see her she's coming down and maybe it's because you buy this stuff on the street and it'll be cut with speed and the down from that, because you haven't been able to sleep, can be really negative. It sounds like she's ready to get help. I would suggest that she goes to the doctor and she can then discuss the options to her. Some counselling and a drug programme MIGHT work for her, and if it's something else i.e. depression, bipolar then hopefully someone will recognise this and be able to help with that.