!!!!!y & cliquey neighbours. Advice needed!!

LJM

toocleverbyhalf wrote: »

I live in a cul de sac ( HA) and have neighbours who both have 3 children. I have a 4 year old who is starting school in september so is home most afternoons.
One of the neighbours make intense friendships with people for a while then drops them like a hot brick. She takes great pleasure in finding out everything about you, turns on the charm then tells everyone else all that she's found out. When she gets bored she moves on to someone else. I'm ashamed to say that I've been involved in this in the past so it was only a matter of time till it turned on me.
Now it has, but they are now taking it out on my son. If he knocks the door to play they either ignore him or say that their mum said that they're not allowed to play. It's really upsetting me because he asks me what he's done wrong & everyone hates him. I try to keep him busy after nursery: the park, library or swimming, but I can't always stay out all afternoon. He sees the other children out playing and gets upset cos they won't let him play.
I have always stuck to the adage that parents shouldn't get involved with children playing, unless there's danger, but I can't help feeling that my son is paying for my mistakes but I don't know how to handle it for his sake. By the way, I live in a quiet grassed street with a good view, so it's safe to play.Has anyone got any advice?

i know someone exactly like this too ive tried so hard over years to be friends but have now given up i say hello am polite,life really is too short

Caroline73_2

Why would a 4 year old be playing in a public area alone?

mrcow

Bo_Nidle wrote: »

You can do that in cul de sacs. Thats why parents like them generally.
No through route for cars so its as safe as can be.
I lived in one for 20 years, ask me anything you like about cul de sacs.

I've lived in one for nearly 40 years and there is no way I'd leave a 4 year old to play out unsupervised.


Why is a 4 year old going round knocking on other people's doors? What is wrong with you people?

NiallB

mrcow wrote: »

Why is a 4 year old going round knocking on other people's doors? What is wrong with you people?

Wow.

That is all.

suki1964

mrcow wrote: »

I've lived in one for nearly 40 years and there is no way I'd leave a 4 year old to play out unsupervised.


Why is a 4 year old going round knocking on other people's doors? What is wrong with you people?

When we were that age we never were as posh to live in a cul de sac we lived in a street and we went and knocked on neighbors doors and said "coming out to play"

It's how children interact and make friends

My gs plays out in the street with his friends. He's 4 Other kids knock all the time

But then over here we know our neighbours and look out for each other

Darlyd

I used to live in a cul de sac for about 8 years, had 15 houses, went in a square only one way in. Yes people can be very cliquey, I was lucky to of had great neighbours either side of me. Although the Man of the house was a right knob ead, would shout at the kids if they came down past our houses, which in turn those kids and their parents would take it out on my then 4 yr old DD. Not so lucky now, She had some friends, But they got leared up to that families end on the bouncy castle etc, DD would go up but got told to p off.. They ruined my DD life, threatening her, had her by the throat, pinned her down for their kids to batter her. Happened over the space of 6 years, I had no idea until a neighbour came and told me, she witnessed it in their garden. Oh yes police were involved. We moved as soon as we could do. Never in a million years would I allow my younger DD out to play, not here anyway, but not even if I lived in a cul de sac. Kids can be cruel so can adults!! I would not spit on them if they were on fing fire! Oh i am angry now.

Spring_Time

Aww I have been though something similar, it is awful!

What I did was invite other classmates round for tea, sleep overs, day trips, picnics in the garden etc...then found my child was invited back to their houses quite a bit to, in the end the "others" did not bother him so much as he always had so much to look forward to and after a little while they all "made up" in their own time anyway. As for their mums, they quite rightly still called me a snob because darn right I would have nothing to do with them and their spiteful attitudes lol!

Good luck!

hislan

With your little one starting school in September, he's going to have 29 new little friends to play with straight away! He'll be with them for most of the day from that point on, so the attitudes of the neighbours will pale into insignificance! Work on helping him build up friendships with his new classmates (do you know who any of them will be - maybe you can organise some playdates before he starts school?). Believe me, it will be children at school that will become his main friends from now on!

Ignore the neighbours, and rise above it all (you're better than that!) Leave them to their petty back-biting and enjoy making new friends with your son - there's lot of lovely people out there to meet! Good luck!

pinkcandyflossprincess

start a few rumours yourself, just let it known "shes a bit touchy feely " so you stopped hanging around with her. I doubt other people will side with her and will provide a good laugh if nothing else, if she tackle you on it, tell her she seems to enjoy making up stuff about everyone else so you thought you would join in the fun;)

dandy-candy

How about you making friends with some of her other cast offs? Tbh she sounds a bit nutty and you and your kid are better off out of it x