Charging Rent to Family

picardygirl

Petrabas - whose idea was it for your brother to stay with you?

narabanekeater

I've lived till quite recently with this very situation. We were offered £50 a week and as much as that sounds it wasn't enough. Bro loves his electrical appliances and he would put the heating on when we weren't in just for himself. Just our utilities increased £50 pcm. Also the food bill, loo roll, coffee, washing bill went sky high. We had to support him on top of the £50 which put increased pressure of my marriage
As lovely as having family live with you sounds, your privacy is effected and you may not feel very confortable saying to your brother just how much things are effecting you and your family.
The advantaage of the built in babysitter was lovely but its not ever a situation id allow myself to be put in again.

petrabas

Thanks All,
The idea for him to stay came logically as we are the only family in London, in the UK actually and we have all just 'assumed'. I'm sure we were 'asked' at some point but it wasnt a big deal. That aside, we are looking forward to having him to stay as we get on really well and he is a great and considerate guy. I am taking on board all comments regarding privacy, house rules etc and will work on some way to lay all cards on the table from the start. I may even suggest to Mum at weekend that she takes the step back and we deal with him direct from now on as I really dont want any fall out over money, house rules or even stuff that goes on here going back (husband and I are quite private). I'm sure if I step up to the plate (I'm good at burying my head in the sand!) be clear with everyone from the start about whats expected then we'll all have a great year.

Pee

£150 a month sounds fine, and provided it is not covering food, should cover the extra costs. Beware that the heating and computers and lights may be on more. I think you do need to discuss the expectations of both sides and the house rules, just so you get off to a good start. I have to say if I was 25 and living with my sister, I would expect to be able to have overnight guests sometimes although I would expect to have to declare name and details in advance. If that isn't acceptable, then you may well need to mention that. Also there are things like whether he will eat with you and if so what he will contribute for that and if he doesn't eat with you, what will happen with his washing up and when. i.e. do you expect him to do it later that same evening? It's important to be clear about stuff like that, otherwise it gets annoying. Ditto laundry. When I had lodgers working the washing machine could be a challenge for them.

clw1

I think that £150 is too little if it includes all food - if it is excluding food then it's probably about right. But like all the others say you need to agree the rent £ and any ground rules with your brother not your parents. Make sure you think about if you will buy for all loo rolls / cleaning stuff, will you buy all the milk & bread or does brother need to buy his own, rules for "guests", if you pay your brother to babysit for evenings out etc etc. Lot's to think about but probably better to sort it out before he moves in rather than afterwards.

Primrose

I think somewhere between £150 & £200 p.m is about right, depending on whether food and fuel is provided. At 25 your brother needs to understand that he has to pay his way, even with family, and 25 years olds can eat an awful lot of food!

I suggest you get the whole issue agreed well in advance of his arrival to avoid any misunderstandings, especially on the issue of privacy and boundaries. It's far better to start off as you intend to carry on and far less embarrassing for everybody than continually having to deal with niggles as they arise. And it's definitely time for your parents to step back from this issue. Your brother has been an adult for a long time now and he should be capable of negotiating this issue direct with you.

hcb42

Mind you, if the OP thinks £150 is ok including food it probably is. And he is her brother after all. Ground rules can be set for heating etc...

It doesnt cost that much more sometimes to feed three adults than two.

OP, I am sure the chat will go fine, i doubt your parents expect to put him up at your expense..

belfastgirl23

I would make it clear that the £150 IS the family rate and doesn't really cover costs

I also don't know that it's fair for your husband to take the lead on it - what's said between blood family members is much easier to make up than when inlaws get involved, even though it's his house....I hate to say it but I think you're chickening out here and hiding behind him and whilst it's easier short term it will make things harder long term...

thorsoak

Just be straight about the situation - your brother isn't a child, he's already gone through 3 years at uni if he's doing a Masters, and must surely know that he cannot freeload on you - even if he does with parents!

Tell him that you'll appreciate his contribution to the household pot - split c/t into thirds - he paying one third, divide the other bills - electric, gas etc by four - he paying one quarter (I take it that you have children - if not - again divide by three) - and then work out what contribution to housekeeping - meals/cleaning etc. You don't want to be making a profit out of him, but he should be helping you to keep your heads above water!

Also, be straight about what he would be expected to do in the way of housekeeping - cleaning rota, washing clothes etc etc etc - if you lay down the ground rules/expectations, you'll have a happier time than just hoping that he will do things - he is no more a mind-reader than you!

Pupnik

You mentioned that you borrowed money from your parents, if your brother has no way of paying you (despite what others said it is not a good idea to work during an intensive masters- I was regularly in the labs from 9am to 11pm at night and usually in at weekends too, would not have had time for working!) perhaps you could arrange to either write off or reduce the amount you are paying back to them? If the amount you are paying back is about the same as the amount it would cost for him to live there it could work out nicely.