Advice please...

Hadley1

Hi everyone I am looking for some advice please, but have to warn you its likely to be a long post... Apologises in advance.

Deep breath and off I go... Originally, I wasn't going to go and look at/try on dresses until I'd lost a bit of weight. But I got so excited I thought why not and off I trotted to some bridal shops with my mum. It was meant to be just a bit of research (and fun). But in one shop (one that we found by accident) I found an amazing dress. I was the only person to have tried it on in the sale for a riddiculous price (and I mean riddiculous). Its a beautiful dress well over £1,500 originally. It is stunning, but at the time I was considering another dress (in another shop). But at the price I had to buy it and it is now hanging in my mum's wardrobe.

I am having four bridesmaids but at that point hadn't actually asked them. Sadly, just before I did my dad passed away (this was unexpected although he was ill) and everything went into a spin.

Anyway, I recently asked all my bridesmaids and they are all so excited. One of the things they are most looking forward to is coming wedding dress shopping with me. :eek: So now I am panicking.

I am now pretty much convinced that the dress I have is the one... (thats as long as I don't go to any more shops and try anymore), but what do I do about my lovely girlies???? I feel so guilty and that I have deprived them of one of the best bits of being a bridesmaid.

I did think maybe I should tell the truth and explain why this dress was bought, but with the thought that it could be sold on if another was found. But then I am scared to go and try other dresses (well part of me is) incase I do find something else.

Sorry for going on so long, but I just want t make them feel happy and included especially my SIL2B who has been amazing. I think most bridesmaids would want to be involved in dress shopping.

Any thoughts gratefully received. I did try to explain this to my OH and he can't see where the problem is, vut I feel really bad.

tfutcher

hey,
It is up to you if you want to go dress shopping again. As you said you may find another dress, but if you love the one you have it may start you questioning your decisions. In my experience the more you look at dresses the more confusing it can get.

When I went dress shopping the first time it was me, my sister and my mum. The second time it was my mum, sister and cousin (who are both bridesmaid). My other two bridesmaids were planning to come if we went again, but I fell in love with a dress and brought it.

There were a little bit upset but understood why I brought it and I have assured them that when it arrives (can take 6 months to make) I will bring them with me when I try it on, so they will get to see MY dress the first time I try it on.

Sorry if this has not been much help

McKneff

Best to be honest, invite them to a girlie night at your house and a dress show, they wont mind when yu explain the circumstances.

You have given them a special honour and if they dont understand then they dont deserve it.

MrsDrink

I think there are loads of other girly things they can help you with - while you have the dress you haven't got the make up, hair, accessories or shoes organised... lol have you? (Are you as wedding obsessed as me?)

I would say tell them that you have a dress, tell them they can pop round one night for a girly night in and you'll show them it (if you want to! I know some brides have keep their dress a secret right to the last minute from everyone!) Don't feel guilty for finding The One!!

sammy_wheeler

i brought my dress in march 2010- and we didnt set the date- ask my bms to be bms until july 2010-- so i didnt go through the dress experience/shopping with my bms- and they didnt mind- and i didnt look for any more dresses- and to this day they still havent seen the dress- and wont until the day before the wedding lol
so i cant help really coz im in a similar position- they asked me july last yr when we going shopping- and i just had to say that i had brought it- and they were ok with that

mrs_B_5

The first time I went wedding dress shopping was with my groom! And it was sods law that that was the day I found my dress! We went into a local shop, where I didn't think I'd find my dress at all, and decided to try loads and loads of dresses on just to give me an idea of what suits me. The one was the first dress I put on and we just knew it, yes the groom has seen it! I sent a text to my step-mum & my brother who were the two people most excited about coming dress shopping and we just arranged for them to come and see me in my dress later that afternoon. I tried some others on while they were there but the dress I'll be wearing on the day is the first one I tried on when I went shopping with my groom!

McKneff

You know something, Ive just read a few lines of your post, to be quite honest you did exactly the right thing, you went with your mum,
thats what mums are for.

I got married in a suit in the late sixties, no money for anything else, my daughter although in a long term relationship is hopefully going to tie the knot this/next year. I cant wait to go with her, I'd be mortified if she came back from shopping with all her bridesmaids in tow with her wedding dress, Like I say, you did the right thing taking your mum along, I bet she wouldn't have missed it for the world.

aarchk

What about accessories shopping?? I'm sure if you arrange a special evening at your mums so they can see the dress and discuss idesa for shoes etc then you can all go to the shops gthe next day.

None of my BMs came shopping with me. i found my dress on my own but sent through pictures of possibles as I was hunting. I dont think they will be upset.

Plus dont forget they will have to go dress shopping for their own dresses!

curlylou1986

i would have to agree with all the other ladies on here - i went dress shopping once to try a few on with my mum and my sister. I knew i was just pregnant at the time, but they didnt yet and i only went still because it had been arranged for a few weeks due to my sisters shifts.
I wanted to feel nice trying dresses on while i still could (even though it wasnt a great experienace in long run!) but i wouldnt have gone with my BM's if wasnt pregnant. would always been my mum and sister. Then perhaps if found a dress somewhere they come too later date.

What i did do with my girls was went shopping with them when they were looking for their shoes and underwear - i brought dresses online so they came to my house and they had some bubbly while trying dresses on etc.

I wouldnt worry - they will and should understand...they prob be suprised you managed to keep it quiet from them for so long that you found the one!!

lindaatno9

amy_forster wrote: »

The first time I went wedding dress shopping was with my groom! And it was sods law that that was the day I found my dress! We went into a local shop, where I didn't think I'd find my dress at all, and decided to try loads and loads of dresses on just to give me an idea of what suits me. The one was the first dress I put on and we just knew it, yes the groom has seen it! I sent a text to my step-mum & my brother who were the two people most excited about coming dress shopping and we just arranged for them to come and see me in my dress later that afternoon. I tried some others on while they were there but the dress I'll be wearing on the day is the first one I tried on when I went shopping with my groom!

And what a peachy frock it is!!

neenaww

Just tell them the truth, they wont mind and like the others have said there are plenty other things you can involve them in!! Well done on finding the dress and on getting a bargain!!!