Christmas Alone......

wifeforlife

Hi Nix

I hope you dont take this in the wrong context but IMHO I think you would like to have a big chrismassy time. You said you used to enjoy it, dressing up and making a big dinner but theres no reason not to continue this, just not with family. As the above posters said you could volunteer to help people out or if you'd prefer being with people you know, go to your friends that have already invited you and be yourself. Just enjoy the occasion for what it is and just think you can have a day of eating, drinking and merriment with no babysitting worries. If you feel lonely it doesnt matter if your on your own or with a bunch of people the loneliness will still be there.

If you decide to be at home on your own come online, as I know for definate I'll be online on the day, we'll have a celebration of our own!!!

Cath
x

love_lifer

xmas is a pain in the butt. no 2 ways about it. however i think its worth planning well- so as long aas you have a plan and will see people at some point (assuming you want to) then just enjoy. ive just split with partner so it all loooks a bit daunting- all that bloody jollity and excess. but i have plans and my mates are where its at. plus easy peace at home and fizz.

DebtphobicDeirdre

Just to throw in another suggestion for you to brainstorm with why not look in the lonely hearts column or place an ad yoursef. Not necessarily for romance but you often see "fun nights out and friendship" in them. There must be millions aroud in the same boat. Don't mean to be a killjoy but be careful not to get too drunk and spoil your time with your DS by being hungover. Another idea, cultivate friends from other religions who couldn't care less about Christmas lark.

victory

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Smashing

You've been invited to dinner? Well then you can choose to be on your own (which it doesn't sound like you want to be) or be with people who care about you. It sucks that the family situation is how it is, but many people have difficult or non-existant relationships with relative - blood isn't always thicker than water, so go and enjoy yourself with your friends.

Hay_2

Personally I'd enjoy some of the time with friends if you can in the day, get home whack that carol CD on,open a special bottle of something,make some long overdue phonecalls to wish a few bods a merry christmas.I'd cook myself my favourite foods ALL day,have my all time fave nibbles dotted around the place,watch the TV/DVDs I liked,have a fab bath with my fave bath stuff,get into the new PJs I bought myself,,,take a shed load of choc to my lovely freshly washed sheeted bed,maybe with a new book I wanted to read and sleep knowing a new year/new start is around that corner and my gorg DS would be home with his mummy the next day.....

lil_me

Never feel forced to spend it with anyone, but always realise friends will only offer if they want you there. I would personally be offering my services elsewhere either with a shelter type organisation, or even local hospitals etc if I didn't have children. I chose to work when I didn't have the boys and used to work at a pub, loved it, but spent the day with some very lonely people who I genuinely felt for who had no offers of somewhere to go, and some people who were doing anything possible to escape the family thing. TBH this year I wanted it as just me and my partner and the boys, but we have been asked to go to DPs Dads house on Xmas day, which actually will make it easier as there will be several family members who we'd spend hours travelling to do visiting otherwise. My parents however will not let me come over on Xmas day, we have our time together usually on Boxing Day, that is our Xmas.

stefejb

Volunteer if you can - it's brilliant! this is my first year of volunteering for the whole christmas period as i am in a similar position. Ex having my youngest as last year we invited him over to ours and he arrived on christmas eve, called me a C word and then proceeded to drink himself under the christmas table for the next three days. Believe me i am looking forward to this year a lot more. Unfortunately i thought that ex was going to include his two stepdaughters and his stepgrandson in his plans but that seems to have gone awry and now my dd is saying that christmas is cancelled for her and her little boy so i am feeling a little bit guilty about abdicating responsibility. We are having christmas at New Year though.

in terms of volunteering don't think you would have to commit to a long period of time - you may find that some organisations just need a couple of hours on the day to help serve christmas lunch - check out your local volunteer bureau. Most of all do what you want to do - even if its just something like having an all day bubble bath that you wouldn't normally have the time to do.
hugs
stef