Christmas Alone......

Nix143

Apologies if there is another thread like this, I've done a search and not found one.


Well, I am spending Christmas alone again this year as it's my DS's turn to spend the day with his dad.

4 years ago Christmas was a big event. My ex partner and I would have a huge dinner with our children, my family would sometimes come down, it was your traditional family day - and I loved it. I would dress up as Mrs Christmas and cook for hours and just revel in looking after my loved ones.

Then my nanna died, I fell out with my family because they can't cope with the gay thing and my partner and I split up. And now I am facing another Christmas alone. Year before last I had a Marks and Spencer's ready meal, got drunk and fell asleep in my chair. This year friends have invited me to dinner at theirs but I feel like hermitting. I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. No, not sorry, I think it is the time of year designed to make you take stock of your life and make you aware of the gaps in your life.


Anyway, for those who spend Christmas alone, how do you deal with it? Is it just another day for you? Do you make any effort to be Christmassy alone? Have you made an effort to start any Christmas alone traditions?

And if anyone wants a free range turkey I have one sat in my freezer :rolleyes:

needmoney

Nix143 wrote:

Apologies if there is another thread like this, I've done a search and not found one.


Well, I am spending Christmas alone again this year as it's my DS's turn to spend the day with his dad.

4 years ago Christmas was a big event. My ex partner and I would have a huge dinner with our children, my family would sometimes come down, it was your traditional family day - and I loved it. I would dress up as Mrs Christmas and cook for hours and just revel in looking after my loved ones.

Then my nanna died, I fell out with my family because they can't cope with the gay thing and my partner and I split up. And now I am facing another Christmas alone. Year before last I had a Marks and Spencer's ready meal, got drunk and fell asleep in my chair. This year friends have invited me to dinner at theirs but I feel like hermitting. I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. No, not sorry, I think it is the time of year designed to make you take stock of your life and make you aware of the gaps in your life.


Anyway, for those who spend Christmas alone, how do you deal with it? Is it just another day for you? Do you make any effort to be Christmassy alone? Have you made an effort to start any Christmas alone traditions?

And if anyone wants a free range turkey I have one sat in my freezer :rolleyes:

No real words of comfort for you but maybe be grateful you don't have to spend it with relatives you can't stand/ get on your nerves/ seek all the attention etc.

Why not as someone else suggested in another thread volunteer to some organisation .

I think I would prefer to spend Christmas day alone rather than the options above.

Hope you find something you enjoy and have a happy one anyway.

Gettin_me_own_back

Friend of mine does not do christmas for many of the same reasons, also does not want to spend the day with others. So he spends the day at the local homeless shelter, I know he goes along on christmas eve and spends the evening, also goes all day on christmas day and much of boxing day. After which he comes back with the festive season over for another year. He tells me that it helps him take stock of his life and makes him feel gratful for what he has got. I am sure there are many organisations who could do with a helping hand, as many staff want the time off. Why not try,
The salvation army
Local hospice/hospital
Shelter (national charity should have some local info)
Local social services often host a day for adults alone who have learning disabilities.
Old peoples homes.
I am sure that there would be many an organisation calling out for a willing pair of hands, and I am sure they will be able to keep you busy so before you know were you are christmas is over. You may also make new friends who are in a similar position.

I know its very easy for me to sit here and preach, but dont let the B******s grind you down get off your A*** and get out there, you are as good as the next person and its their loss if they dont want to spend christmas with you. This is meant in the nicesest most positive way
regards
and Merry Christmas to you

DKLS

I am very sorry that your family cannot accept your sexuality such a waste.

If I dont manage to catch a flight out of here, I spend Christmas day alone, out of choice I might add and not for the lack of offers (strange when people find out your alone at christmas they all want to invite me, until i tell em its my choice and I am happy that way, its my favourite day of the year, I get to do what I want, eat/drink what I want, M & S ready meals and champagne in the fridge, I switch off the phone, and laze in my pit/sofa watch Dvds/ snooze, get drunk. I have no one to upset or be upset by, not forced to eat a glorified sunday dinner or any other traditions that my family/friends have. At midnight on Christmas day the tree is packed away for another year
New Year is when I come alive

New Year is the time to be social and be around friends for me

going2die_rich

Xmas has lost it's religious reasoning, so really it doesn't have to be on the 25th. Why not just save the xmas dinner for boxing day or the day after when your son returns? Children are too busy with the presents on xmas anyway to have time to appreciate a nice fancy meal anyway.

Use the day as a day of rest for yourself. Just think a whole day to basically take some time out and be lazy. You get to have the lie in, then eat whatever lunch you want and then watch some movies (not just cartoons or PG films) while having some wine. Obviously it wont be as good as having xmas with your son but you should look at the positive side that some people spend xmas alone every year and not alternative years like yourself. They also probably spend the entire xmas period without anyone.

Just think of it as one day and it's the right thing as your childs getting xmas memories with both parents.

Have you thought about maybe doing something to help others this year? Since you will have alternative xmas's without your son, have you thought about maybe spending them helping out at say the local hospital or something along them lines? I am sure their must be some chairty organisitation that still need help on xmas day and are very short on staff on these days. Keeps you busy and means you aren't left spending the day missing your son as you are doing something to try and make someone elses xmas that little bit better.

Worth looking in to, as getting drunk and self pity will only drag on to the next day when you are nursing a hangover and if thats when your son's back it just spoils his day with his mum.

newcook

hmmm - this one is a tricky one as obviously the final decision is down to you. you have 4 choices: 1-go to your friends house for dinner and enjoy yourself, 2-spend the day by yourself, get drunk and wallow in self pity, 3-spend the day by yourself but enjoy the day (watch the films that everyone loves but would never admit, gorge on chocolate and cake) or 4-volunteer your time at a shelter.
I personally would steer well clear of option 2! if you have DS on boxing day why not have your xmas day then? just because its in the calendar as being on 25th doesn't mean you have to stick to the norm!

whatever you decide to do this xmas please keep your spirits up - it sounds as if you have had a bit of a crap year but look at it this way: it can only get better!;)

Nix143

Awww thanks you guys, you've made me realise how sorry for myself I sounded

xxxx

karren

no not sorry for yourself, but realistic. I would volunteer for a shelter or something or hospice, the volunteers were always well received and joined in with the celabrations, good luck no matter what you decide.

mrs_baggins

Although this christmas I am not alone I have been before. Look on it as a time to do exactly what YOU want. No -one else to grab the remote control, moan at, pick up after!!! 1 christmas I never even had lunch as i just couldnt be bothered,I just got everything I fancied all together, loads of dvd's and watched exactly what I wanted. then again its easy for me as I have never really been a christmas type except when my kids were little. Just look at the good side and dont dwell on the 'all together at christmas' scenario which is spread about as being the only way to do it. enjoy yourself

Maysie

It will be my first christmas alone without the kids . i am on a fat free diet as well. If i have too much christmas cheer in the house i will eat it . Then end up the hospital in agony lol. If i don't have it i feel the kids would be deprived. So they are going to their dads. They can eat what they like and have fun.

i have decided to just go it alone its easier than having people fit round what i can eat. i won some champyne in the school tombola so thats earmarked for christmas day. Plan on getting some strawberries too

I am going to get a good book by an author i like and i will probably buy it new instead of from the charity shop!

wendym

I shan't be on my own for Christmas, but I am fairly often, which is usually fine, but when it isn't I imagine that I am obliged to get dressed decently and go to a party at which I like no-one. Then I imagine getting a phone call to say it has been cancelled, and the feeling of relief makes my own company seem OK again. Childish, but it works.