Preparing for Christmas 2011

Jd1983

Popped in to b&m this afternoon. This had pallet upon pallet of toys etc they were putting out. Must remember to go backnext week. Here's hoping there's some Xmas decorations

Well_Preserved

louj101 - have you looked on the Old Style board? There's a thread on there about preparations for Christmas that has ideas about food - gifts & otherwise. I think there's one on this board, too, about gifts but I forgot to check before I started typing! The Hampers sticky might be useful, too.

Hope you get some other, less vague replies! Sorry! Feeling a bit dopey this afternoon!

louj101

thank you :j:j
i will have a look :T:T

Well_Preserved wrote: »

louj101 - have you looked on the Old Style board? There's a thread on there about preparations for Christmas that has ideas about food - gifts & otherwise. I think there's one on this board, too, about gifts but I forgot to check before I started typing! The Hampers sticky might be useful, too.

Hope you get some other, less vague replies! Sorry! Feeling a bit dopey this afternoon!

tazmac25

Anyone doing hampers and need mini wine to go in it
Tescos
Happened today maybe tomorrow .......
Mini bottle sof wine 2 for £3 but if you buy 6 bottles you get an extra 25% off
But the best bit it's off the original price before the 2 for £3 discount
Makes the £2.29 bottles of wine 92p each
A word of warning the receipt will say 5% discount but it does take the full25%
Hope this helps hamper makers xxxx

ManPants

Hello,

I have a quandry! One of my oldest friends, her husband & children (of school leaving age and above) all expect presents for birthdays & christmas. Each year I'm buying that household alone 8 gifts coming to at least £300. I find it a bit much in view of the fact that 3 are adults! With most of our friends we get each other birthday presents but don't do christmas apart from for any kids there are. Kids love presents whereas adults are more realistic - or some are!!

A few years ago I broached the subject with my old friend that we cut out the christmas presents and just do birthdays but she told me she had already got our gifts. This left me in the position that I had to proceed on. 2 years later and 16 presents later I'll be expected to provide more presents this coming christmas.
Whilst not actually presented with a list I do actually get told (down to the page number of certain catalogues!) what is wanted or money is alluded to as a suggestion of what to give.

In the reverse I just take what I'm given or request a book or a dvd for myself or my partner and a bottle or two of booze.
Over the years I've been ridiculously generous as I know they struggle for money and i wanted to help them out but there doesn't appear to be much of an indication of them cutting back in their spending and everytime i see them they are talking about something new they are planning on getting or aiming for in the future. All this with a background of my old friend phoning up worrying about money but in the next breath talking about a new mobile phone they are going to get their daughter.

I am now at the stage where I am getting super fed up of this sheer volume of presents i have to get and the whole grabbing aspect of my old friends behaviour.

I was going to tell her that I am no longer going to carry on doing all these presents and just get the kids birthday presents until the point they finish university and for them not to get us anything at all but a card! Our economic situation has changed significantly this year and we no longer have the abundant life we used to have although they know we are virtually mortgage free.

What do you all think? Or do you think I am being a big fat scrooge????


Stupotstu X

BloomingTasty

Hi there stupotstu,

I'm with you! In todays current economic climate, god that sounds awful!, I to have felt the need to cut back.

Just tell her the score, she may not like it but times are tough for most people.

I have cousins who we bought for, as soon as they had children it dropped to just buying for the kids. Now I made the decision a couple of years ago that as the kids got older I was buying tockens an vouchers which quite frankly didn't need a lot of thought. So I told my cousins I would buy for the kids until they were 13! This Xmas now only have 1 to buy for.

The other thing is put a limit on the amount you spend on them. and try make it thoughtful. This year I'm making things for people, Sweetie jars, chutneys andything I can do relatively cheap but with thought for the person its for.

If they're true friends they have to understand, after all we do not give to receive or so the saying goes. If she wants to spend a lot and can afford it great. But don't buy expensive, uneccessary gifts and spend the next few months paying for them!

Sorry to rant on but a bit of a bugbear of mine.
Em :rotfl:

jakesbakescakes

stupotstu - this is a sad and difficult one, but i agree with the above comments, true friends should not expect gifts and in the case of receiving them they should be appreciative and grateful for any present - it is the thought that counts. I too have been in a similar situation in the past - it is best to be assertive and outline what you believe in. Be honest about finances and the current economic climate - most people are feeling the pinch right now and you never know but your friend might be grateful for the decision to halt present buying. Perhaps it is a little late in the year (in view of your friends comments before about already buying presents - iyswim?) so you could always tactfully announce that THIS is THE LAST YEAR of buying presents. In view of cutting costs, you could always buy them a 'family present' to significantly reduce your outlay. What about a family games night, movie, or foodie hamper? or tickets out to a local panto, comedy night, etc. One of the things I have done with my sisters family is that we say now - no presents but instead we have a weekend away together with the 2 families - this isn't cheap and doesn't really save money but at least it doesn't waste money either- everyone has a fab get together and a nice break and lots of festive spirit(s!!!!) hmmm, hang in there chuck and i hope you get things sorted - don't stew stupotstu - be assertive and you'll feel much better for it. Good luck

mum2one

hi stupotstu
I totally agree with you, and what the other 2 posters have said, you def need to say this is the score, just explain the credit crunch etc is taking its toll on everyone, and it means that you have had to reevaulate the present buying, apologies if I have misread it, but they sound quite materalistic, and they may think its just them, make sure they know its everyone its happening to not just them, not from the point that you should feel obliged to explain that bit, but they know its just not them.
we have the same problem with one side of our family, we agreed a couple of years ago that we would just do birthdays, but thats a joke as its our family doing bdays 7 in the family, they expected seperate presents from mum and dad, then me, then dd.. compared to when and if it suited them what they sent. I've proposed that as it works for christmas that the familes just buy for the grandchildren, that the same principle apply for birthdays.

If your friend comes out with some excuse as its to late to swop this years presents, or told junior that your going to get them x,y + z. Then I would say that its Sept, hence you've approached the subject now before too much xmas planning gets done, and suggest that you buy till a certain age, or a certain amount of money gets spent.

I'll use an example of a good friend, shes married with 2 kids, this is her immediate family-
mum and dad
brother + wife + 2 kids
brother + 1 child
sister + hubby + 1 child
sister + hubby + 2 children

Over the last few years they've gone from "spending" £50 each person, to all names in a hat and you spend £50 on that person, to last yr, when everything just went tight, they all came to the agreement that xmas the children get given £5 each, nothing for adults, birthdays £10 for adults, £5 for children, if its a special such at 40th.. shes got those over the next few yrs, that they up the money to £40.

Good luck, your be fine, if shes a true friend she will understand, penny to a pound theres a lot of people who want to have the conversation to reduce the presents, but hope that someone else brings it up xx

SnowBelle_2

Stupotstu,
Please do not think you are a big fat scrooge!
I think it is extremely cheeky of your friend to expect so much from you and to be honest if it was one of my friends I would have found it hard to bite my tounge!
We had the same sort of issue with my SIL but not on such an expensive basis..she just spent loads of money on absolute tat.
We just told her that we would buy for the kids only, bearing in mind they are still quite young.
She was pretty huffy about it to start with but she got over it ( except for phoning us and asking us to put £20 in a card for her 30 year old son,who earns more than we do)
As another poster says If she is a true friend she will understand,If not I would seriously think about her values.
Good Luck

ManPants

Thank you Eljaycock, Jakesbakescakes & mum2one!

Well I guess we will find out soon enough as she 'phoned up to say she was going to be shopping (!!!!!) locally and will be popping along later!!

Lets see how it goes!!

Thank you all for your input. My other half suggests its a bit horrible to mention that I'm actually buying 8 presents a year for their household whereas I think that it needs pointing out!!

Stupotstu