Coping with loneliness

msb5262

Saturnalia wrote: »

I am very lonely. I have a couple of friends but I don't often see them as they are always doing stuff with other friends.

Hi OP,

I think maybe this sentence is the key to the situation.
You are feeling lonely and rather sad, so you have low self-esteem at the moment.
Because you have low self-esteem, it's very hard to get yourself to make the first move to organise things with the friends you already have - even just, "Come to mine for coffee, I'm baking a cake," or "Let's go for a walk/run/free concert/museum..." etc.

Once you can motivate yourself to arrange something - anything - you could start doing something where other people your friends know can be involved.

For instance, have a picnic in the park or on the common.
Invite your friends and invite them to bring a friend.
Invite your flatmate and get her to bring a friend.
Invite one or two people from your volunteering job and get them to bring a friend.

People like coming along with someone they already know, as it makes them less anxious about having nobody to talk to.
Suddenly you've got a few people along, everyone will be chatting and before you know it you have made another friend or two.

If you like, make it a themed event - have a fancy dress party. Do a Macmillan coffee morning. Hold a posh afternoon tea in aid of a charity.

I really think that once you've started fixing things with your friends and taking the initiative, you'll find it easier to make social arrangements and to make more friends.


You are in a bit of a low place at present - see if you can take one or two small steps to change things.

Best of luck

MsB

meritaten

hi Saturnalia - there have been some good suggestions already so can I add mine? as you are unemployed would you be eligible for some free courses at a local college? it not only expands your cv but you would meet people - and college notice boards are a very useful source of info! any 'free' activities locally would be posted on there and the college often have groups, etc who meet even when their courses have finished.

LondonDiva

http://www.meetup.com/