How do you do it?

mildred1978

LucyLocket wrote: »

If the OP is suffering some post natal depression, which is not at all uncommon, then a post as abrasively contentious as this is likely to be less than helpful.

I don't have post natal depression, and I have a reasonably thick skin.

gratefulforhelp_2

Hugs, it is hard.

Can you run to purchasing an extra set of bedding so you don't have to race to get it back on the bed?

What about joining flylady as pigpen suggests, lots of support there, and like minds.

I do sympathise about running around trying to get things done and having no down time.

What about setting yourself little challenges, make a change a week?

for example

this week i will...get the bedding washed...next week i will join the flylady thread...the week after i will ask someone from toddler group for coffee??

sorry - have to go, baby has woken up x

JodyBPM

What do you do when the baby is sleeping? I used to use that time to run round and tidy up, push the hoover round, pop some washing in the machine etc. I also used to do a lot of jobs with baby in tow, such as hanging washing on the line whilst they are crawling round on a rug in the garden, or cleaning the bathroom whilst they sat on the bathroom floor with some of their bath toys, tidying nursery whilst they played with toys on the floor etc. Whilst of course a 10 month old does need your attention all the time, you can still do other things whilst supervising them. Have you babyproofed the house and put up stair gates where appropriate?

In all honesty, if you are at home all day with just one baby, you should have time to keep the house tidy and have time to look after yourself. Either you are stressing too much on "being with the baby" and not finding time to do the household chores, or I agree with others that these could be warning signs of PND.

It sounds as though the untidy house/falling into bed with makeup & clothes on is, understandably, getting you down, so I would try to tackle it. Perhaps have a chat with your DH and ask him to help (or get a cleaner in) to clear any backlog, and then start structuring your days around what needs to be done, just as you would have done at work!

marywooyeah

mildred it does sound like you have it tough, and the other posters have given some good advice. my little one is 3 today :jand when I was on maternity leave I also struggled. I felt that people would think "what does she mean she doesn't have time to clean? she's not at work what else would she be doing?!"

I got a washbasket from argos with 2 compartments: 1 for lights and 1 for darks. when it was full I just pick the compartment up and sling it in the wash - no need to seperate out the clothes, saves time. the link is here, you might wish to consider it: http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/8325282/Trail/searchtext%3EWASH+BASKET.htm

Secondly, get a slow cooker, you can bung your dinner in it in the morning, leave it on during the day and will save you cooking in the evenings as it cooks on its own. theres loads of slow cooker reciepes on here, and freeze the extra portions to save you even more time.

The cleaning? well that never ends! get a plastic mat to go under his highchair to catch whatever falls off. get a handheld hoover - great for cleaning up crumbs and stuff without having to lug the big hoover around.
Bathroom? get some of those cleaning wipes - once over and its clean. I've got a tiled shower and used to spend around an hour scrubbing it clean all bent over and it was awkward and took ages - now I get the mop and scrub the tiles that way, takes around 10 mins now and saves my back!
loo? shove a couple of those coloured block things in.
pots? save them all til the evening, then do a job lot once baby is in bed and stick your mp3 player or the telly on so its doesnt feel too bad. like another poster said load the machine before bed so you can get it on in the morning.

bedding - do it one morning so its ready for that night.
make up wipes will wipe your makeup off quickly.
I dont agree that it's "disrespectful" to your partner to go to sleep in your clothes, but its probably meaning that your clothes wont last as long. have an old tshirt under the pillow so you can strip off and put that on for bed.
Its true that kids love watching you do things, I used to describe what I was doing and why, my LO loved that. has he got a bouncer chair or anything to keep your hands free?

but most importantly don't drive yourself mad with the cleaning, short bursts are best but it is sad that theres always something needs doing I really empathise with you on that.

good luck! xxx

Money_maker

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3164594

Try this thread. A little less intense than flylady of messies who support each other with keeping their homes clean and tidy. We call it baby steps... please do have a read.

LucyLocket

mildred1978 wrote: »

I don't have post natal depression, and I have a reasonably thick skin.

I'm glad, on both counts :-)
I find household organisation really hard. Yet it seems to be a skill set that women are expected to naturally possess and the lack of it has often left me frustrated with myself.

I find the creation of routines difficult, although they do help once established.

The one thing that has made a really significant difference has been 'decluttering'. 'Stuff' steals space, requires upkeep and adds to confusion. I have thinned our belongings out considerably over the last few years, most of it has gone to be re-used elsewhere and none of it has been missed at this end.

pigpen

Why don't you get your pj's on as you put the baby to bed? Mine is 10 months next Saturday and still in my room which is filled with piles of allsorts.. I've spent the last 2 das trying to sort some of it with not much success!!

I leave mine at the foot of the bed.. put her in the cot, pick up my jammies and walk out.. I can get changed in the bathroom or anywhere else then.. though i do get changed by the light of my phone or in complete darkness .. occasionally I end up with my nightie on back to front or inide out but heyho..

Decluttering is vital.. even if it is just 5 things a day.. it all helps..

If you aren't going out.. leave the make up of.. it'll do your skin good to be clean too!

Extra set of bedding. one off and in the wash, clean one on.. if you change it when oh is home it can be his job so he has a lovely fresh bed to get in when he gets home

mildred1978

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Hugs, it is hard.

Can you run to purchasing an extra set of bedding so you don't have to race to get it back on the bed?

Good idea, thanks.

CH27

You need to treat home as your job.

Minimum must dos are shower, teeth & getting dressed in clean clothes every day.

Try to set your self a couple of jobs each day ie clean the bathroom.

Being tidy is a mind set & needs working at.
Always put away what you have used ir baby wipes.
Wipe the kitchen down everynight after your evening meal.

mildred1978

marywooyeah wrote: »

mildred it does sound like you have it tough, and the other posters have given some good advice. my little one is 3 today :jand when I was on maternity leave I also struggled. I felt that people would think "what does she mean she doesn't have time to clean? she's not at work what else would she be doing?!"

That's exactly how I feel.

marywooyeah wrote: »

I got a washbasket from argos with 2 compartments: 1 for lights and 1 for darks. when it was full I just pick the compartment up and sling it in the wash - no need to seperate out the clothes, saves time. the link is here, you might wish to consider it: http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/8325282/Trail/searchtext%3EWASH+BASKET.htm

Already have one (but the compartments don't separate).

marywooyeah wrote: »

Secondly, get a slow cooker, you can bung your dinner in it in the morning, leave it on during the day and will save you cooking in the evenings as it cooks on its own. theres loads of slow cooker reciepes on here, and freeze the extra portions to save you even more time.

I like the idea, but I don't think there's much I could make in a slow cooker. I'm veggie, OH isn't and LO is on finger food.

marywooyeah wrote: »

The cleaning? well that never ends! get a plastic mat to go under his highchair to catch whatever falls off.

Got one.

marywooyeah wrote: »

get a handheld hoover - great for cleaning up crumbs and stuff without having to lug the big hoover around.

Got one.

marywooyeah wrote: »

Bathroom? get some of those cleaning wipes - once over and its clean.

Got those too.

marywooyeah wrote: »

I've got a tiled shower and used to spend around an hour scrubbing it clean all bent over and it was awkward and took ages - now I get the mop and scrub the tiles that way, takes around 10 mins now and saves my back!

I don't think I've ever cleaned shower or bath tiles in my life!

marywooyeah wrote: »

loo? shove a couple of those coloured block things in.

Good idea. I think I have some of those (somewhere).

marywooyeah wrote: »

pots? save them all til the evening, then do a job lot once baby is in bed and stick your mp3 player or the telly on so its doesnt feel too bad. like another poster said load the machine before bed so you can get it on in the morning.

I have a dishwasher. It's on at least twice a day. Baby doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm so I tend to do that as part of cooking if i can.

bedding - do it one morning so its ready for that night.

I live in Wales and can't rely on the weather, unfortunately.

marywooyeah wrote: »

make up wipes will wipe your makeup off quickly.

Nothing removes my mascara except hot water, so they won't work. I have extremely sensitive skin too.

marywooyeah wrote: »

I dont agree that it's "disrespectful" to your partner to go to sleep in your clothes, but its probably meaning that your clothes wont last as long. have an old tshirt under the pillow so you can strip off and put that on for bed.

Good idea.

marywooyeah wrote: »

Its true that kids love watching you do things, I used to describe what I was doing and why, my LO loved that. has he got a bouncer chair or anything to keep your hands free?

He has a jumperoo, but won't go in the bouncer anymore (too boring). He is in the jumperoo about 3 times a day as it is. I'm not sure it's good to put him in there any more than that. (And I can't really get it out of the living room)

marywooyeah wrote: »

but most importantly don't drive yourself mad with the cleaning, short bursts are best but it is sad that theres always something needs doing I really empathise with you on that.

Thank you.