MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Janet pay for John?

ERMANTRUDE

mmm, gotta look at the long term implications here. They want different things out of life, at least at the moment. Why waste all that time, effort and money on arguing/disagreeing/and food one doesn't really want. Say goodbye to each other as a couple, meet occasionally as friends and get on with your lives. Life is too short to compromise when you are young!

HCDayantis

Well, I'd let her pay. Sure, I'd feel slightly uncomfortable because traditionally it's the men who have to fork out. Really though, the tradition of women not working has long gone, so the relationship sterotypes oughta be on the way out, anyway!

scubajon

Absolutely she should. If she wants to eat at expensive restaurants that she knows John can't afford. In this time of equality we should not even be discussing this! I get the impression that equality is only wanted when it suits! No way, if we want it, it's for everything and that includes paying for meals in expensive places. If it was cheap and she knew John could afford it, would she offer to pay then? jc

Seakay

Most people think that John is uncomfortable with the expensive meals because he sees them as wasteful because he works with disadvantaged people.
It may be the case that he only works where he does because it was all that was available, and longs for a big wage to use as he pleases. Janet thinks that he likes the food, so he must have at least cleared his plate, and presumably hasn't appeared uncomfortable or out of place in the chosen venues.
He has politely pointed out that he is aware of the disparity when it comes to paying, she has agreed that this exists, but indicated that she doesn't regard it as a problem. So there is no problem at all, unless it exists in John's head.

flatcat1964

They should take it in turns to pay at a restaurant of his or her choice, this way John shouldn't feel uncomfortable and Jane may find that some of the cheaper restaurants aren't that bad.

mindi_007

It is all very well Janet paying for expensive meals but not all great meals are £100, perhaps Janet doesn't really know what she's missing out on....getting to know John better; his tastes, how he would like to treat a lady sometimes.
Perhaps money is not the issue here but more how to approach relationships, listening to one another and being considerate. Janet could give John a chance to show her that a good meal/night doesn't have to cost so much.
If a guy wasn't keen on me suggesting an alternative date (like in this situation) I would be reluctant to see him again because I would see it as disinterest in me and my life and quite frankly boring that he wouldn't be willing to try new things...not the sort of person I would see myself dating for very long.
Good luck

bandyp

If she wants to, though I can;t see it making for a lasting relationship...

srg123

I would ask her to consider the other end of the restuarant market now and again. so that she could appreciate the top end that she reguary visits. cant spell wont spell

Spart_2

Tottie paying the restaurant bill! Quelle probleme, mange tout?

BNU_2

I think that John should be encouraging her (and her six-figure income) round to his place more often - where he can cook for her, and show her that the finer things in life aren't always served up in the dining room!