Advice on 8 year old sleeping

brians_daughter

not read all the posts. However when we moved home ds1 was about 7 and wouldnt go to bed when no one else was upstairs. We resorted toa cheap baby monitor from ebay - a 2 way one so he could talk to us and we could talk back. we did set rules like he couldnt chat away to us etc and it worked slowly. Over about a month he requested we stopped using it lol

KiKi

Shepherd1 wrote: »

thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. She will play in her room alone during the day and evening no problems, but has always had a problem when going to sleep except when in a cot she slept alone great then.

I do believe she is scared and not putting it on as she will put teddies in the cupboard and move the curtains because she says they scare her.

Nothing has changed as I say she has always been like this. We were broken into when she was about three and although I did try to keep a lot from her she still does know. Sometimes she will say something about someone breaking in but I don't think this is her main worry.

Thanks everyone.

Oops forgot to say I think I am being soft as I hated sleeping in the dark when I was young, my mum was hard on me so I was always asking to stay at my grans cause I could share her bed and she would go to bed at 8.30 with me (spoiled);)

If she's genuinely scared then you need to find out what will make her feel better without you being upstairs. You don't need to be there.

Perhaps a nightlight, a CD player with a story, and a baby monitor will be enough to know she can contact you.

You can reassure her (and be kind) whilst also not making a rod for your own back when she refuses to go to bed without you there.

You can also use a method that's often used with toddlers who won't sleep alone: spend the first night in your room, then the next night on the top stair. Then the next night one stair down. Then one more etc... Basically, gradually removing yourself from your room, a bit at a time, until you're downstairs. You need to tell her you're doing this, that tonight you will sit on the stairs until she goes to sleep (she's not allowed to engage in conversation with you, though, or start chats!), then the next night you tell her you will be on the stairs again, one step down, and you can still hear her etc.

Does she have a good routine? Something calming before bed. No television, computers or stimulating drinks / food / sugar in the couple of hours before bed. Instead a bath and happy story and lots of cuddles.

KiKi

adviceforall

I was also going to say about a 2 way monitor so that she can still check you are downstairs as well..
Just hearing your voice and you being able to reassure her everythings all right might be all she needs to relax and go to sleep