Help

Steph998

OK, so I have posted here before...to jog a memory;

: I have a nightmare of a student son, his wonderfully understanding stepfather, and I have probably pi*ssed a few people off with my posts about conservatories (another thead, best forgotten)

I also had a brilliant convo with someone who's name sadly escapes me who helped me so much when I first posted on the alcoholic thread, a thread that I cannot seem to find tonight. Probably because I am pis*sed .

Anyway - I am two years down the line from my last cry for help. I have tried AA, I know all the steps but cannot seem to climb them.

I am drinking a half bottle of vodka a night, every night and I know what this is doing to my liver and my health but i just keep doing it. I hide the bottles under the car seats and get rid of them during the morning shop. I have been to my doctor, who tested my liver which shows no damage (!!) so although I have told him I am worried about my intake - will not give me 'alcoholic' help.

I am also worried that having drunk a half bottle of cheap vodka tonight I am still able to type without too many mistakes. Is this the cheap vodka, or my immunity to alcohol? Or, an amazing liver?
Iam stotting a bit, and I was muttering to myself in the bath tonight and my hubbie gave me that ' you're slurring' look

Am I alone? Anyone else out there? Are we doomed??

x

Bo_Nidle

Dont drink alcohol tomorrow or the next day or the next day or the next day etc........

relic

Many people after they get used to alcohol, just don't feel the effects.

My uncle was very much the same, and ended up moving onto stronger drugs. He's still around, and clean I might add, but not half the man he used to be, just a vessel.

I honestly can't offer any professional advice, but coming from a similar situation with someone VERY close to me drinking ALOT, it hurt me more than anything. If you can't stop for yourself, please do it for the people around you, you may not realise it but it will be hurting them more than you know.

Good luck, I hope you find an answer.

koalamummy

Steph sorry I don't have any really helpful advice to offer you except maybe to see a different doctor or failing that try contacting a group like Alcohol Support who are Aberdeen based their number is 01224 573887\595981 they should be able to point you in the direction of services in your area.

Liam002

The problem is not whether you have a great liver or immunity to alcohol, the problem is deeper than that. Have you tried to find out the reasons for drinking so much? I suggest you meet with a psychologist, and try to solve the issue that makes you want to drink so much.

sparrer

Hi Steph, no we're certainly not doomed, far from it! I'm an alcoholic who was drinking a litre of vodka a day, or rather I was flushing it, and therefore a hell of a lot of money, down the loo. You said you tried AA but it doesn't sound like you're still going. I went to meetings for quite a while before I understood all the steps, we read them and get to know them but really understanding and working them are a bit different. As for climbing them, you don't do that on your own, you're helped with each individual step for as long as it takes.

I learned I had to keep going to meetings, not give up if I had a slip. No-one ever looks down on someone who doesn't get sober the first time round as very few do, it's simply a case of 'keep coming back' and eventually, somehow, it works. Don't ask me how, it just does. In fact if you slip they're going to make you even more welcome because showing up afterwards means you're determined to try again.

I discovered that my obnoxious son, stressy job, not perfect home weren't the reason I drank, but drink caused me to lose them all...

Re the GP not giving you something to help, it's not about pills or potions, it's about putting in the effort and showing you're doing your part toward your recovery. Certainly see another GP at the surgery, yours doesn't seem to realise alcoholism is an illness, not just an addiction. There are places they can and should be suggesting for detox, rehab, etc., for instance.

You have to really want sobriety, not for anyone else but for you. If you try to get sober for another person you'll fall at the first fence because others aren't going to believe you're sincere about it for a while. It can be disheartening but it's a hurdle we face because we've shown we're good at lies and deceit (hiding bottles in the car for instance) and we have to regain trust. You'll have heard at meetings that it's not the tenth drink which causes the problems, it's the first one. So just don't pick up the first drink. It sounds simple, doesn't it? It might help to know that when you stop what you're craving is not alcohol but the sugar in it, so one good suggestion is to drink sweet drinks like lemonade, and suck boiled sweets or similar. Don't worry about putting on weight, you say your liver is okay at the moment, but for how long if you continue? And not just your liver, you may not be aware that alcohol destroys brain cells and they can't regenerate.

As koalamummy says, there are also places other than AA who offer help and advice, try each one for a while til you find one you're comfortable with. But please don't give up on any after a couple of weeks, give them all a fair crack of the whip.

I wish you well and hope you'll think about the Serenity Prayer -

God grant me Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And Wisdom to know the difference

Sparrer

essexgirly

Bo_Nidle wrote: »

Dont drink alcohol tomorrow or the next day or the next day or the next day etc........

Steph

Dont try to climb all those steps in one go.....

as the saying goes..... one day at a time...

Call AA again, nobody is going to judge you or think your slurring or anythinig..They will just talk to you maybe even put you in touch with somebody local who can tell you where the nearest meeting is.

Do it for yourself and nobody else.

georgie262

I have no professional advice but my mother died at 41 from alcoholic liver poisoning. I was 21 and my brother was 12. At the end she had lost everything. I remember what she was like before but my brother does not. She was popular and beautiful and by the end she was drinking all day in cheap pubs with the local alcoholics. She was yellow and bloated and not the woman who brought me up. It has affected me and my brother profoundly, especially my brother. You may think your son is a nightmare (and I don't know your circumstances) but it is sometimes easier to push away an alcoholic parent than to deal with the reality of it - especially if you have dealt with it all of your late childhood. My mum wouldn't go to AA as it 'wasn't her style'. I hope you manage to sort yourself out I truly do but you can only do it yourself - I hope you do.

flutterby_lil

On a different but similar note, if i did not go to weight watchers to get weighed every week I would not lose weight, the fact that i do stops me from cheating and keeps me motivated. Go to AA meeting every week.

You do not really sound like you want to stop - does you partner drink?

essexgirly

hi Steph, how you doing, i'm sure your feeling full of remorse etc after last nights admission. Dont be embarrassed to come back on here and tell us how your day has been. I'm sure there is an underlying reason why your drinking your vodka in the evening. We have all been there, been on those nights out when we have all drunk too much and been loose lips! but really nobody thinks anything do they. Your the only one that can decide if you have been drinking too much, your son and your relationship probably have an inner most link to the way you are. I believe that you do want to stop, there are probably hundreds of people drinking too much in the evening/day/morning/night..... but only those that recognise their problems post on an internet forum. ONE DAY AT A TIME, you cant change yesterday, tomorrow is too far advanced. All you have to worry about is right now. Hope your ok

pigpen

my alcoholic uncle, who drank more than half a bottle of vodka for breakfast if not before was found dead after 4-5 weeks of lying there rotting.

After almost 35 years of serious alcohol abuse his liver was pristine, he had no heart disease not in accordance with his age of 51, he had no tumours or other growths, benign or otherwise.. however his veins were so corroded and pickled they were thin and he bumped his head, nothing major, he probably never even noticed it, had a massive haemorrhage due to the level of alcohol preventing clotting.

His children were 1 and 2.

My OH's mother goes on benders periodically.. and he has nothing but contempt when she does.. she has the power to change and stop, as my mother did, and chooses not to.

People stop smoking and drinking and drug taking every day.. because they want to, they look for the help and they take those steps with people supporting them.. and until you actually want to you won't.. regardless of what you do or where you go or who you see if you don't decide enough is enough then it will continue. It has to be something you want.

And hiding stuff is pointless, your family are not stupid!