Bought tickets but don't want to spoil her!!

stebiz

Okay here it goes. I know my daughter loves going to concerts and she works really hard at school, and I'd like to reward her for all her hard work. She is 15. So over the last couple of months I've been talking (discreetly) about what concerts she'd love to go to etc. I then went and bought 2 (gold) tickets for the concert, next month. She can take a friend.

But how on earth do I go about giving them to her, without making her sound spoilt. I enter lots of competitions, could I have won them?? Any ideas??

findingmyownway

Just tell her its a reward for trying so hard at school.... or wait until her report comes and use that as the 'excuse'

Tropez

Why would she sound spoilt? Surely a parent doing something nice for their child as a reward for hard work is fairly normal and not at all indicative of being spoilt? Who would say she was spoilt?

I'd simply say what you've said here - it is a reward for her hard work because, if anything, your daughter will continue to work hard on the off chance you feel like rewarding her again in the future.

gingin_2

Agree with findingmyownway, just tell her that you are really proud of all her hard work and you wanted to give her a treat.

If she's 15 and behaves well then you must have done a good job of not spoiling her in the past.

Or rereading, are you worried what the friend might think?

shy-but-need-help

I wouldn't worry about her sounding spoilt- any friend who is asked will be too excited to judge and she doesn't need to justify herself to anyone else.

Spoilt isn't what they are given (in my opinion) but how they act in response to that. A child who is grateful and appreciative won't come across as spoilt.

sulkisu

You don't need an excuse. You say she has been working hard and you want to do something nice for her in reconition of this, so why not just tell her that? IMO pretending that you've won the tickets, which implies that this is the only reason for giving them to her (i.e. I got these for free, so you might have well have them..) spoils the purpose of getting them for her in the fiirst place.
Just tell her the truth - they willl mean much more to her if you do.

stebiz

Thanks for the replies. Yes she works so hard at school. On target probably for mainly A's I would guess. Her report was fantastic and I'm so proud of her. She has her moments (don't all teenagers) but I really wanted to treat her. I was thinking what her friends might say - especially as she will be giving one of them a ticket for one of the best seats in the concert. Maybe I'm worrying a bit too much of what others might think.

CAN1976

Don't worry about others. Spoilt is getting whatever they want whenever they want. This is you as a parent providing a thoughtful reward for good effort and results. This is a good lesson to learn as jobs reward the same things.

stebiz

Thanks everyone. Feel a lot better now. Will just give them to her one night over dinner.

**curlywurly**

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Your daughter has worked hard, you are rewarding her. I treat my daughter all the time for the same reason. And I enjoy doing it. So, instead of fretting, please take pleasure in one of the best things in life - being able to treat someone to something you know they will love. Last year I was nearly as excited as my daughter when I bought her front row tickets to see Miley Cyrus. I was NOT so excited after 3 hours at the O2 and having forgotten to bring my earplugs ...

Tropez

stebiz wrote: »

Thanks for the replies. Yes she works so hard at school. On target probably for mainly A's I would guess. Her report was fantastic and I'm so proud of her. She has her moments (don't all teenagers) but I really wanted to treat her. I was thinking what her friends might say - especially as she will be giving one of them a ticket for one of the best seats in the concert. Maybe I'm worrying a bit too much of what others might think.

I would say you are worrying a little too much.

A spoilt kid is one who gets the latest iPhone and then three months later when the new version comes out he gets that one too. Or the spoilt kid is the one whose mother is buying her gold and diamond jewellry for no reason whenever she wants it.

Basically, the spoiled kid is a kid who gets what they want, whenever they want, without putting any effort into it whatsoever.

Your daughter has put in some effort and you have decided to reward her so she isn't spoiled. Some of her classmates might feel a little jealous that she's getting a reward but that will pass - every teenager gets a little jealous of something that another friend has got or does at some point - it is natural. If it really concerns you, just ask your daughter not to tell anyone except the friend she decides to take.