Nephew in care....what are my rights?

lolly101

Hi Aimeesmum,

You have just described my situation 8 months ago! My sister had a baby boy who was taken straight into care. I ended up applying for custody (biggest decision I've ever had to make!), and he finally moved in last month.

I was told (by my solicitor) that there were two options: someone in the family offered to care for him, or he would go up for adoption and the only contact that would be allowed is 'letter box communication' (we could write to him once a year, and he could write back when old enough). Is there anyone in either famiy that would be able/willing to offer care for him?

I think that they would almost definitely go for adoption for your nephew over permanent foster care, with him being so young (I think cost plays a big part). I was told that adoption is a 'fresh start', so extended contact with the birth family isn't considered appropriate. He would always know that he was adopted, and would be told all about his birth family, but face to face contact wouldn't be allowed until he was an adult and could decide for himself.

Unfortunately, I doubt that you would be allowed to play a part in things or be allowed into meetings and conferences as you are not 'party to the proceedings'. I offered my care from the start yet was still not involved with anything until Jan (we was born in Sept!), I was only kept 'in the loop' once placing him with me was considered a viable option. Unfortunately extended family don't really matter to SS, they are only concerned with looking after the children, not the adults who care about them.

So although it doesn't look look very positive, you will still be able to tell him how you feel in a letter,and he will always know that he is loved. And there is nothing stopping you opening him a trust fund, although you need to be prepared for the fact that he may decide he doesn't want contact with his birth family.

As for the mother, I don't know the situation, but I don't believe her story for a second. If the ex partner was the cause of it all then there is no way that he would be given custody of the childen over her. Perhaps there was violence, but the other way around?

There is so much that I could say, but I don't want to ramble on! If there is anything you want to know then I will try my best to help.

delain

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Why would this be such a bad thing?

Because the child could end up anywhere in the UK, possibly up to 500 miles or more away from his own family, and how hard would that make visiting?

Also I've been told that adoption makes it less likely that contact with extended birth family is maintained.