Nephew in care....what are my rights?

puddy

depends what the actual reasons were for the children leaving her care. this may have been done voluntarily, some parents then find the guilt of this so bad that they transfer the decision (in their minds) to social services.

its unlikely that the fathers you speak of are the violent partners, that would be illogical

for a child to be removed at birth, there will have been pre birth conferences, the child subject to the plan prior to birth, or it might have been an emergency relating to issues around the birth, was she using drugs, or alcohol??

the service seems to have decided that your brother is unable to protect the children, either being seen as a risk himself (as well as the mother) or an ineffectual protector, do you know why this is, does he speak to you about their relationship?

thatgirlsam

AimeesMum wrote: »

What I fail to understand is if she is known to social work for this reason how her ex (the violent one) went on to get two of his children out of care. He is now their sole carer.

My brother has stayed with the woman and as I said before are claiming and still claiming, despite having evidence that shows they don't, that they have the child in their care.

Thanks for all the replies.

Have you told your brother you know the truth?

He might have chance of getting custody of his son if he can provide a safe environment and that may well, probably would, mean leaving her

I suspect that the violent ex story is not true - Does she have any contact with her other children at all?

AimeesMum_2

She does see both of the children twice a year who stay with their father.

I called my brother this morning and tried calmly talking to him and saying that I knew the truth and that if he would just admit it then we would be able to help him and one of us would take control of the situation and try and work out what social work want from them to try and at least see their son but he was adamant that he was sleeping right next to him.

As per usual he then started on me and "why don't I concentrate on my own life...blah blah etc" and then slammed the phone down.

Is there any way for me to find out why her other children are in care or what the social work are concerned with this time or is it deemed none of my business and confidential? x

sassyblue

Hi AimeesMum, l really feel for you. Your brother would probably love to have help from you but is angry at his situation i.e having the child taken away but wanting to stay with the woman - and now you've discovered he's been lying so l'm not surprised he's angry but if at some point he doesn't accept your help then l'm not sure what you can do.

Such a shame, l know of a grandmother whose grandchidlren were taken into care but she couldn't offer them a home and she was destroyed by it all.

I hope you get some good advice from the social worker but if you or someone else in the family cannot offer a home then there may not be much you can do.

You could still put some money into a trust fund for the baby but how would you feel handing this over to a total stranger if he/she gets in touch when they're 18? Unless you'd have formed a relationship before handing it over and know you'd stay in touch afterwards.

thatgirlsam

AimeesMum wrote: »

She does see both of the children twice a year who stay with their father.

I called my brother this morning and tried calmly talking to him and saying that I knew the truth and that if he would just admit it then we would be able to help him and one of us would take control of the situation and try and work out what social work want from them to try and at least see their son but he was adamant that he was sleeping right next to him.

As per usual he then started on me and "why don't I concentrate on my own life...blah blah etc" and then slammed the phone down.

Is there any way for me to find out why her other children are in care or what the social work are concerned with this time or is it deemed none of my business and confidential? x

Oh dear - thats not normal behaviour is it.. Do you live near, what do you think would happen if you just went round to see the baby? Would he refuse to let you in?

I don't know if its possible for you to find out why the other children are in care, I would imagine due to confidentiality you can't

flutterby_lil

Hi Aimee's mum - I don't think you could find out why her other children are in care, they would say it's due to data protection. How long has your bro been with this lady?

I can't see how the violent ex have custody of two children if indeed he was violent, maybe that was a cover up for what she has done wrong and why the children were really taken. SS must have seen the father as more fit than the mother, your brothers partner.

Hope you get some answers soon and your brother admits what is going on. Does he take drugs, drink excessively, violent? But maybe you are not aware of any of these if he does if he can't tell the truth about the baby. Or maybe they have done nothing wrong (this time, maybe baby was taken into care as a precaution because of past , I have known this) and are sure they will get baby back and are just embarrassed? Just thinking out loud really.

ViolaLass

Pure speculation but if the children have been returned to the supposedly violent ex, perhaps the mother has a history of making allegations that turn out not to be true. Even now, she and your brother are pretending that their child has not been taken away.

Emmzi

I remember you having a huge soul search when she became pregnant and you knew baby would be in care.

A clean break seems to be best for baby. You can write letters / leave contact details with the adoption registry if you wish. But weren't the family (harsh summary) unfit parents for a reason, layering guilt on you, and frankly a bit nutso?

Don't let this thread become about you adopting again - you made your decision for a good reason, stick to it.

Best thing you can do is let baby get on with their life IMHO.

AimeesMum_2

Yeah I don't want to adopt the baby but would like to at least perhaps be able to make it known that as he gets older that me, his other aunt and his gran didn't just let him go into care. That we wanted to help and that we wanted to see him.

All I have seen is a picture and I just feel so awful for my Mum who is really in bits about this.

My brother is unemployed, has learning difficulties and doesn't seem to have any understanding of the realities of life. Just lets his life pass him by claiming benefits and not doing anything.

They have been together on and off for about 2 years.

Mankysteve

clearingout wrote: »

I get that a child would be considered at risk if mum had chosen a violent partner in the past, but presumably this isn't the case here as she is now with someone else (who presumably isn't violent)? Removing a child at birth (which I think is what has happened?) is really quite a drastic measure, isn't it?

I would suspect that there are some fibs being told. SS wouldn't remove a child to a new partner in a new relationship because an ex's behaviour.