AAARRRGH at the NCT

leandygandy

I'm sure this feeling of anger will pass but right now I am not a happy bunny!

My husband and I did not enrol on our local NHS antenatal classes because they start at 6pm and he doesn't finish work 20 miles away until then. As he is my birth partner we both feel it is important that he attend the classes as well, so he knows how best to support me during labour.

We chose to enrol on an NCT class instead - start time 730 on a weekday evening. Perfect, we thought. There was one Saturday session which we were aware hubby would not be able to attend, but as it's a breastfeeding session not too much of a problem.

Now I've been emailed to say that our class teacher has been changed and that 3/5 sessions will be on a Saturday which my husband will not be able to attend....

I've emailed back to ask whether there are any other sessions we can switch to, but from looking online it doesn't appear that there are any other classes which are suitable.

If it was one Saturday hubby could book holiday but I don't think his employers will be happy with 3 in 6 weeks...I'll have to ask him and hope that the answer I get is not the one I think I will get!

If not, I'm faced with attending classes on my own, or with someone else who isn't my birth partner.

If we had known the dates were likely to change we wouldn't have signed up to the classes - they're not cheap...

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH

(And yes I know it probably seems worse to me because I'm a hormonal pregnant woman :rotfl:)

Azari

leandygandy wrote: »

I'm sure this feeling of anger will pass but right now I am not a happy bunny!

My husband and I did not enrol on our local NHS antenatal classes because they start at 6pm and he doesn't finish work 20 miles away until then. As he is my birth partner we both feel it is important that he attend the classes as well, so he knows how best to support me during labour.

We chose to enrol on an NCT class instead - start time 730 on a weekday evening. Perfect, we thought. There was one Saturday session which we were aware hubby would not be able to attend, but as it's a breastfeeding session not too much of a problem.

Now I've been emailed to say that our class teacher has been changed and that 3/5 sessions will be on a Saturday which my husband will not be able to attend....

I've emailed back to ask whether there are any other sessions we can switch to, but from looking online it doesn't appear that there are any other classes which are suitable.

If it was one Saturday hubby could book holiday but I don't think his employers will be happy with 3 in 6 weeks...I'll have to ask him and hope that the answer I get is not the one I think I will get!

If not, I'm faced with attending classes on my own, or with someone else who isn't my birth partner.

If we had known the dates were likely to change we wouldn't have signed up to the classes - they're not cheap...

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH

(And yes I know it probably seems worse to me because I'm a hormonal pregnant woman :rotfl:)

Presumably, under the circumstances you will be able to get you money back if that is the route you choose to take.

And I don't think you anger has anything to do with hormones. The high handed way some companies think they can vary the terms of previously agreed contracts is appalling. (Although if they have been let down themselves they may be just trying to make the best of a bad job.)

leandygandy

Azari wrote: »

Presumably, under the circumstances you will be able to get you money back if that is the route you choose to take.

And I don't think you anger has anything to do with hormones. The high handed way some companies think they can vary the terms of previously agreed contracts is appalling. (Although if they have been let down themselves they may be just trying to make the best of a bad job.)

I hope so! If I have to attend alone I may as well save the money and go to the NHS ones.

Like you said, I'm just cheesed off that we have signed up and paid and now things are being changed. Hey ho, not much else I can do about it though...

dmg24

Why not just take a friend? I'm going with my best friend as her partner works overseas and won't be back until closer to the birth.

No point in getting stressed out over things that you cannot change!

Morty_007

dmg24 wrote: »

Why not just take a friend? I'm going with my best friend as her partner works overseas and won't be back until closer to the birth.

No point in getting stressed out over things that you cannot change!

Sorry but I don't agree that this is an acceptable solution! I wouldn't have wanted to take a friend instead of my partner and invalidating the OP's feelings about this is unfair and very easy to do when you aren't the pregnant hormonal one. (41 weeks and counting for me so I know how you feel OP) OP, i'd ask for a refund and go to the NHS ones if you MUST go alone. Its just not acceptable for them to change the times after you have paid and then not to honour a refund if you can't make the sessions. What did they say when you asked?

fluffnutter

hollydays wrote: »

These sories are SO ridiculous for SO many reasons Something that is so natural,is NOT easy necessarily,and any mother whose baby was failing to thrive would be frankly,more than stupid to ignore warnings from health professionals (arent babies weighed every week?).How exactly is that the fault of the nct? As for being shunned,There is a massive amount of guilt around this subject.A happy mother is a happy baby,if you dont want to bottle feed because you dont want to,be honest with yourself,dont blame everyone and everything else.

Indeed. So why are the NCT so hell bent on making mothers miserable? It's like a state-sponsored mumsnet *shudders*

hollydays

I have no recent experience of it,being a grandmother myself,but I remember that I did get some very useful support,by phone afterwards,the friendship of some of the other parents,etc.NCT are a charity,lead by volunteers .Parenting ,by nature of being nurturing is always going to be about doing the best for their child...that leads to strong opinions .

fluffnutter

hollydays wrote: »

I have no recent experience of it,being a grandmother myself,but I remember that I did get some very useful support,by phone afterwards,the friendship of some of the other parents,etc.NCT are a charity,lead by volunteers .Parenting ,by nature of being nurturing is always going to be about doing the best for their child...that leads to strong opinions .

It does. Can't argue with that.

Suzanne_Louise

I think there's too much pressure on expectant parents to do things certain ways.

We didn't go to any classes at all, mainly because my partner's a police officer and works shifts, and I didn't want to go to them alone. I just followed my instinct when I gave birth, and had no problems at all - but I know that I was very lucky in this.

aheaton46

We had NCT classes, and the information and support they provided was excellent. 6 months on and we still meet up with others in the group. Some are still breastfeeding, others aren't, it really doesn't make any difference to friendships in the group. The course covered preparation for the birth, the birth itself, and how to look after a newborn baby.

A friend had NHS classes and they covered only the absolute basics - just the process of giving brith and nothing else.

Of course, as others have said, the courses will undoubtedly vary by area and who is delivering them - both for NCT and NHS. Before switching to the NHS course see how it compares in length to the NCT, you may find you miss out on a lot.

kazzah60

hollydays wrote: »

These stories are SO ridiculous for SO many reasons .

Something that is so natural,is NOT easy necessarily, and any mother whose baby was failing to thrive would be frankly,more than stupid to ignore warnings from health professionals (arent babies weighed every week?).How exactly is that the fault of the nct?

As for being shunned,There is sadly, a massive amount of guilt around this subject.A happy mother is a happy baby,if you dont want to bottle feed because you dont want to,be honest with yourself,dont blame everyone and everything else.Its not, breastfeeding=great mother,bottle feeding=terrible mother,so mums should stop beating themselves up.


sadly this is NOT a "story" it is my nieces experience and I suspect you are of a similar age to myself ( 40's) by your comment

"aren't babies weighed every week" ?

yes, they used to be when my children were babies ( they are 20 and 19) but these days babies are NOT weighed weekly - health visitors who used to be responsible for this aspect of child care are few and far between

and apart from the usual developmental checks at 6 weeks and 8 months, my niece never saw a health visitor and when the baby was weighed, my niece was told she was Ok - my niece lives in an affluent part of the country, where middle class mums are largely left to their own devices when bringing up babies, with mimimal input from health care professionals

and as for being shunned - I can only report on the experience of my niece
she's not one to lie.