A Strange But Urgent Request....

Molly41

Im sorry but you are pandering to her quest for perfectionism. Your attitude is not helping her at all. Your previous posts make more sense now. You need to get some perspective on this and then help her to do the same!

Shanelle

elaine12022 wrote: »

I agree with the other posters, trying to relax (both of you) is important, she cannot really learn much more now, but needs a clear head for the exam itself, i say this having done lots of exams and knowing how stressful they are! I also realise now how relatively unimportant they are.

I'm going to support her as much as I can, and although everyone says exams aren't important, I know how she much she wants from life, and the basic facts she isn't going to get into the colleges and uni's she wants with poor exam grades. I didn't attend college in fact I hardly finished school (which was mainly my own fault) but I'm in a relatively good paid job. I've worked really hard to get here and I don't want to see her have to go through what I did, just to get somewhere which I could've reached much easier with a little educated know how. Apologies if this sounds like sob story
Before I'm accused of living through my DD, this isn't the case, and even if she decided not to go to college I'd still support her. Somehow I doubt that she'll say No to college, seeing as she's so determined and single mindedly set on further education but teenagers tend to change like the wind :j

meritaten

Shanelle - it sounds more like YOU are the one freaking out! mocks were some time ago werent they? WHY would you think some stranger on here could help? why would a stranger who you dont even know, is qualified give her 'a little bit of an insight/reassurance of what grade she is actually at'? is this your daughter freaking out or YOU? you say you try to reassure her - but coming on here and asking for someone to grade your DAUGHTERS work is worrying me. I wouldnt do that - it sounds too much like a parent who wants reassurance themselves.
no-one said anything about false hope - you did though. I think you should keep quiet now and trust your daughter. you are coming across to me as a pushy parent tbh. I hope your daughter does well in her exams - but as I said - its not the end of the world if she doesnt!

rachbc

ok she's in year 10 so she has a whole other year of gcses so these ones really aren't as important as next years - and tbh as long as she gets 5 at c or above she's be able to move on to a levels or other Level 3 FE. As long as she has math, eng and sci at c or higher then once she gets her A Levels no one will care about her GCSE grades, just like once she has her degree no one will care about her A levels.....

Shanelle

meritaten wrote: »

Shanelle - it sounds more like YOU are the one freaking out! mocks were some time ago werent they? WHY would you think some stranger on here could help? why would a stranger who you dont even know, is qualified give her 'a little bit of an insight/reassurance of what grade she is actually at'? is this your daughter freaking out or YOU? you say you try to reassure her - but coming on here and asking for someone to grade your DAUGHTERS work is worrying me. I wouldnt do that - it sounds too much like a parent who wants reassurance themselves.
no-one said anything about false hope - you did though. I think you should keep quiet now and trust your daughter. you are coming across to me as a pushy parent tbh. I hope your daughter does well in her exams - but as I said - its not the end of the world if she doesnt!

I just want to support her, I guess a little bit of her attitude is shining through and in fact it was my DD who insisted that I do this for her. I've always been proud of whatever she's achieved but I just want to save her the hassle of her disappointment and her ott study sessions if she gets a B or below. I know that regardless of my support or not she'll carry on studying, and be determined to get the best and I guess the exam stress drags along with this. If you've read one of my previous threads when I was concerned, you'd realise its how DD is fussing over this exam which is making me determined to calm her. It may not seem the end of the world to you or me but I can't stress how important it is to her. I'm posting this thread on her behalf, and I suppose the stress of me to trying to reassure her is pushing through .

Shanelle

rachbc wrote: »

ok she's in year 10 so she has a whole other year of gcses so these ones really aren't as important as next years - and tbh as long as she gets 5 at c or above she's be able to move on to a levels or other Level 3 FE. As long as she has math, eng and sci at c or higher then once she gets her A Levels no one will care about her GCSE grades, just like once she has her degree no one will care about her A levels.....

She's sat all her core GCSEs' this year, the career she wants to follow is really high profile and I know she's been in touch with colleges about this who have set a specification on what GCSE grades she needs, and they provide no reassurances over the specification changing and becoming more narrow in the coming years,. What I'm trying to say is she needs good Gcse grades to get into the course she wants, after that I know they won't matter as much, but the uni's she set to get into will probably look at all her grades apparently?

peachyprice

For goodness sake, it's two days before the exam what on earth difference does is make at this stage in the game, if she hasn't got it now what are you going to do to make sure she gets it by Tuesday morning.

What if a stranger on the internet grades it too low her her/your liking? What then? Will you let her stay up for the next 36 hours studying so she's too exhausted to perform to perfection in the exam?

Sorry, I really can't believe you are actually encouraging your daughter to put herself under so much pressure.

Sambucus_Nigra

I've not read your threads before but from the initial post and after many many many years of studying myself, my advice is to run her a hot bath and get her to listen to some music and just relax a bit. Half the stress of exams causes lack of recall in the first place; which just makes things worse.

Every person will mark an essay differently, so asking people on the internet is just crazytalk.

If she really wants to do something, then mind mapping her recall of the texts and the themes would probably be the best thing to do at the moment.

rachbc

'The uni she is set to get into' ??? She in year 10 fgs - she doesn't need to have her life mapped out, yes of course ambition and being hard working is good, but so is learning to manage pressure, and yes learning to manage disappointment too - those skills will stand her in better stead than the difference between and b or an a in a GCSE.....

Shanelle

peachyprice wrote: »

For goodness sake, it's two days before the exam what on earth difference does is make at this stage in the game, if she hasn't got it now what are you going to do to make sure she gets it by Tuesday morning.

What if a stranger on the internet grades it too low her her/your liking? What then? Will you let her stay up for the next 36 hours studying so she's too exhausted to perform to perfection in the exam?

Sorry, I really can't believe you are actually encouraging your daughter to put herself under so much pressure.

!!!!!!, Am I not underlining this clearly enough? Regardless of my support she'll continue to study other than physically locking her up without any studying materials, I literally can't do anything. Dd has a mantra never to revise a day before, so after today she won't do anything else. DD tells me she hardly ever stresses in exams she's usually working so hard she forgets to stress its only nerves occur immediately afterwards. I'm sure she'll be fine, I'm just fed up of having to take so much stick just because I asked for a little advice and I gave into my DD's badgering to post this. It probably wasn't too wise a decision and I accept that but by no means am I going to agree on the fact I'm pushing her to act like this!